View Full Version : Contra-acceptance
7th August 2008, 10:52 am
Do you ever get to a stage where you feel almost militant towards heterosexuals over things ?
Insofar as, for example, holding hands ... you walk down the street and you see a boy and a girl holding hands, and nobody bats an eyelid, including you ...
... and for a time you watch and think "that's so sweet - they're in love" ... and then you watch two boys or two girls doing the same and you see the look of DISGUST on some people's faces ...
... it just makes me really :mad: because all the acceptance and tolerance and understanding that WE show towards the great "normal" benchmark out there, and yet we are denied sometimes even the LITTLEST of kindnesses or even the littlest of ignorances towards our own conduct ...
Wisdom tells me that I just have to be patient, understanding and tolerant of those people with such judgmental stances, but there comes a point where I just get more bullish and think no F*CK YOU ALL ... we're not doing ANYTHING that you wouldn't do yourselves ... SOD OFF !! :mad:.
Sorry - for those of you that get the impression I'm on a bit of a Magneto-bent from reading my acceptance thread and now this one, you're not TOO far off the mark - I'm not advocating we overthrow the Government - just getting it off my chest that it really gets under my skin that people have such double-standards.
Those people that cannot reach a point in their minds where they just accept us and let us get on with our lives, or worse those who choose to pick on us for doing what they take for granted, ought to watch out lest they invoke our ... displeasure ... and from there who knows ...
:frown: *sigh* :frown:.
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
7th August 2008, 11:28 am
I'm not advocating we overthrow the Government - just getting it off my chest that it really gets under my skin that people have such double-standards.
YES YOU ARE!!
Who's gonna paint the banners?
Who's gonna get the rotten veg ready?
Who's gonna bring the tents?
Lets go storm the government!
On a serious note, yes, I get angry. I get angry that two girls who are friends and nothing more, can walk along side by side, arm in arm... and no one will say a word. Two guys do that and all hell breaks loose.
That straight couples are able to show their affection no matter where they are, but two guys or two girls show how much they LOVE eachother, which is a natural emotion and cannot be helped and you get persecuted for it. It's not at all right... but the moment it's life :mad:
I think that it is becoming more and more accepted in society because more and more people are becoming less afraid and are actually divulging their sexuality with proudness and without guilt. Because more and more people are actually coming out in our generations, the current generation are becoming ever more relaxed towards the idea and more accepting. And I think that that's a big step. Of course it's a generalisation as this won't include EVERYONE, but on the whole, I think that possibly in the next 20-30 years the whole thing might a bit more lax so that there won't be so much shock horror to see two guys walking down the street hand-in-hand... Course you'll still need to be prepared for people that just aren't accepting of it - i.e. religious nuts etc. but I think that it will be a lot more accepted and more integrated into everyday life than it is at present (and IMO, it is already a lot more integrated into everyday life than it was say 10-20 years ago? So it's definitely going forwards)
7th August 2008, 11:37 pm
I thought I'd give a quick take on this issue by drawing a parallel betwen the gay community and ethnic minorities...
Gay/bi people = a minority.
Black people from where I'm from = an even bigger minority
(I come from a village near a small town called Buckingham. It is a very typical home county rural market town. There was not a single black person in my primary school - a shame, i might point out)
By the way, as an aside, before you all jump at me in one big angry mob of political correctness I am most certainly not being racist, and I will come to a valid point eventually.....
Basically, what I'm trying to say is that for the first 10 years of childhood I did not come across very many black people at all. When we went away, shopping for example, I can distinctly remember staring at black people I saw. From my very young naive perspective, I saw black people as being different, and as such I stared, in much the same way as you describe people staring at a gay couple in the street.
Now, luckily for me, my parents are both from Barnet, North London, where the situation regarding racial groups is far from sleepy old Buckingham. They taught me in those very young years all about equality and how very rude it was to stare or single people out as being different.
Indeed, having spent two months volunteering in Africa, I no longer even bat an eyelid at black people. Now onto my point:
In the same way that I, having met and made friends with numerous black people, no longer see them as being anything other than just fellow human beings, I believe that people would no longer stare at, or single out, gay people if they were to just see more of them. If people regularly saw gay people holding each other's hands it would not be a big deal, and they would not stare with the child-like naivety I can so relate to.
Now I realise that I have only very recently "come over" as it were, and as such I have not experienced the kind of things you guys talk about (not looking forward to it). But, I suppose the moral of my story is..... if you are so lucky as to have a boyfriend, hold his hand in pride, as the naive people who observe you doing so will become that tiny bit closer towards not batting an eyelid.
8th August 2008, 01:46 am
Again i think my upbringing hinders me form having much of any real validity to say to any of this here...
Being mixed race and gay i find treating anyone who's different for whatever reason utterly reprehensible.
Even living in one of the richest areas in Scotland back home in the really quite cosmopolitan Edinburgh i've seen from a very young age the nastiness of people who both don't and should know better. The way my mum gets treated for being black, and subsequently the way people treat me differently when i'm with her can be really really shocking. Similarly, when i'm out with my straight friends i get treated totally differently from how i do out on my own, or with my gays...
I think acceptance and all the other things we seek IS a possibility, but a remote one. I guess every small step is a victory. It's just we all have to take it one toe at a time...
I'm just a controversial character generally, so i'm used to the stares and the comments. And i'm getting really quite good at changing people's minds, too. I make a point of wearing a jaunty bow in my hair and if i want to hold a guy's hand i'll bloody well do it. To hell with the stares.
8th August 2008, 11:00 am
I make a point of wearing a jaunty bow in my hair and if i want to hold a guy's hand i'll bloody well do it. To hell with the stares.
EXACTLY!!! (you go girl!! LOL) Should make a difference in the end.
8th August 2008, 11:39 am
I fully recognise what Shadow is saying and frequently feel the same. I agree with Billington that until people experience more of our normality we will continue to be exotic, strange and stareworthy.
The matter is in our hands. Unfortunately, we are talking about a revolution. A revolution always involves risk and can incur casualties. Nothing will get better until we take the risk though.
11th August 2008, 10:08 am
To be honest I think Billington's hit the nail on the head as well ...
... a creeping acceptance is an acceptance, and if people are presented with something on a regular basis, they naturally adapt to accept it ...
... perhaps I was just feeling really low when I started this discussion :redface:.
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!