hurting yourself

[joseph]

hello. i wonted to write about this and it is abit bad but i wonted to see about it on here . i hope it isnt silly or bad. what if there was a problem about hurting yourself on pupose like if you was sad or cross.and it is quite bad but if you cant help it. is it very unhelathy for you. what can you do if you got a problem with it :frown: .i dident now if to write this or not i hope it is ok.

[marshlander]

Joseph, it's okay to write whatever you want. Hurting yourself on purpose is serious and it is never silly or bad to ask questions.

This is very hard to think about. If you hurt yourself you sometimes know why you are doing it. It is horrible to see someone you love hurting themselves on purpose.

One of my children used to cut herself. She doesn't need to do it any more, but she does have some nasty scars on her arms, legs and tummy. When she was doing it I wanted her to stop, but there was nothing I could do. I didn't understand it and it made me very upset. She told me recently that she found it was a way of making herself feel better about some horrible things that were happening.

If you are hurting yourself and you want to stop, you should talk to your helper who should help you find a counsellor. You could talk to your mum or your sister, but because they love you so much they might find it too upsetting to be able to talk properly with you.

Good luck, Joseph

:bighug:

[Shadow]

Marshlander is absolutely right babe, you should never feel silly or stupid for asking us questions - your honesty is something we sincerely appreciate, and if ever we can help you then I'm sure I speak for EVERYBODY here when I say that we're more than happy to do so ...

How exactly do you mean hurting yourself ? As in you punch things and it hurts your hands ? Or ... you cut yourself like Marshlander's daughter ? Or ... what ?

I think a lot of people experience self-harm on some level or another - two of my brothers have a rather frustrating habit of punching things when they're in bad moods (and as one is 6' 4" and the other one's built like a tank, most of the things they punch break, hence the irritation), and I'm sure that hurts their hands but they feel it's a way of venting their anger (rightly or wrongly).

Obviously there are more ACUTE forms of self-harm, like people that overdose, or cut themselves or what have you, and I think the line for me is that anybody that takes DELIBERATE and CALCULATED steps to hurt themselves really ought to be discussing it with somebody close to them physically, who can assess what they're doing, and try and put them on a better path since, again as Marshlander has already said, often people are TOO close to talk to about this type of thing, as anybody that's in your immediate family, say, is going to have a VERY emotional response to this type of news ...

... so perhaps, as Marshlander has said, talking to your helper might be a good first step ...

We're here if you need us babe xx.

:bighug:.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[fjp999]

Hi joseph


:bighug:


I kinda have a memory of hitting my head on the wall a couple times when I was an early teen. I kinda felt that I was the only gay person in the world and I would never find a boyfriend or love or any of the nice things in life...

BUT I WAS WRONG...

I guess that if you have frustration or stress about something just about everybody hurts themselves in some way... Maybe they cut themselves, hit their head, pinch their ears :lol2: , drink a lot of alcohol, take drugs, eat a pint of Ben & Jerry...

I guess if youre hitting your head or punching the wall with your hand it might be a good idea to buy a helmet for your head and enjoy or a boxing glove... your MoM might be upset with the holes in the walls...

I have said it before, maybe in private chat, but I think you should have a therapist to discuss some of these many things that are bothering you... you have a lot of stress in your life but maybe the telling mom your gay thing will be taken care of at dinner very soon.

BIG HUG FILLED WITH LOVE,
frank

[joseph]

hello. thank you i was worrid today incase it wasnt ok writing it so i am happy how it was.ok! i wrote about becuse i was sad about it. it is funny becase i did do it on pupose but not rely on pupose becase i didnt to decside to relly.i just did it if i was very very cross or sad. :frown: . .my mum relised i did it becase she seen it and she said dont do but i still did.i dont now why.:frown: i am sad becase no one can help and it is hard. marshlander it is sad she did it.but hapy how she is better now:smile:

[Shadow]

So ... what is it that you did babe ?

If you don't mind my asking ...

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Star Twister]

hello. i wonted to write about this and it is abit bad but i wonted to see about it on here . i hope it isnt silly or bad. what if there was a problem about hurting yourself on pupose like if you was sad or cross.and it is quite bad but if you cant help it. is it very unhelathy for you. what can you do if you got a problem with it :frown: .i dident now if to write this or not i hope it is ok.


Joseph, sorry I missed this thread........

There isn't much to add to what any of the guys on here and what I told you the other day babe.
I like Frank have said you must seriously seek professional help, Your Doctor can help point you in the right direction, Your Carer, Your Sister.... The most important thing is that you talk to someone who can help you.

Love you Long Time

xxxxx

I see you posted this 11 hours ago and as Shadow says, Did you do anything?

Jamie
xxx

[joseph]

hello.it was just hurting my self hitting my head on the wall and smacked and bited sometimes and pull my hair sometimes . i dont now if it is proper or not.i just wrote becase what it was my sister said about it because i done it to much soon. and i was sad about it becase mum cant help:frown:

[Star Twister]

hello.it was just hurting my self hitting my head on the wall and smacked and bited sometimes and pull my hair sometimes . i dont now if it is proper or not.i just wrote becase what it was my sister said about it because i done it to much soon. and i was sad about it becase mum cant help:frown:



Okay, Have messaged you Joseph


XXXXXX

[sweetlad86]

a[Only registered and activated users can see links] I know what you are going through I do very similar things, I'm finding it hard to talk to people about it. I've tried talking to my uni counselor about it but she doesn't seem to care.

I hope you also find the help you need..

Marco

[joseph]

hello.that is bad how she dident care. maybe if you tell somone else who help. but it is very hard when no one can help you.hug:bighug:i hope you are ok

[Star Twister]

a[Only registered and activated users can see links] I know what you are going through I do very similar things, I'm finding it hard to talk to people about it. I've tried talking to my uni counselor about it but she doesn't seem to care.

I hope you also find the help you need..

Marco


Hey Marco,

If your at Uni is there no one else you can talk to, what about a teacher?

You must try and talk to someone Marco

Let us know how you get on

xxxxx

My Grandad lives in Gwent, Newport

Marco seriously though, let us konw how you get on



Much Love


J
xxxx

[marshlander]

a[Only registered and activated users can see links] I know what you are going through I do very similar things, I'm finding it hard to talk to people about it. I've tried talking to my uni counselor about it but she doesn't seem to care.

I hope you also find the help you need..

Marco
I hope you and Joseph might be able to help each other, somehow, Marco.

As far as your own situation is concerned, I've had dealings with young people's psychiatric support services before and it looks like you've ended up with a counsellor from the same school of cynicism as my daughter. After a suicide attempt the hospital arranged for her to attend sessions at a local centre. She hated it, which in turn made it even more of a nightmare for the rest of us.

Do you have a doctor you can speak to? (S)he might be able to put you in touch with further support. A quick trawl on the Web brought up this site, which looks informative and helpful:
RecoverYourLife.com - Self Harm Support and Information - Home ([Only registered and activated users can see links])

All the best to you, Marco, and to Joseph too.

[sweetlad86]

Cheers for that marshlander. I'm ok, only problem is while at uni you cant choose a doctor you get the one that is free. I will have a look at that site too.

Joseph if you wana chat about it with one, I'm always open?

[CardShark]

RYL is good, if you go on the chat room though you will end up helping like 10 people at once.

The forums really good though, believe I posted on it because I was depressed about agrophobia, I believe they said I should go the docs to get some anxiety medication.

A lot of people on the forum when I joined though where selfharmers, so they can relate.

Me personally I used to punch a brick wall, for some reason my hands are now large and out of proportion of the rest of me :roflmao:, well from my view (I'm kidding I love my hands really, their my favourite part of me), but I have found simple ways of calming down doesn't always work though when I get over-frustrated.
I like to chill out listening to some happy jazzy music :luxhello:.
Another method I use is from a book "Instant Confidence" it was about making your brain think happy thoughts when you do certain things, me I shuffle a deck of cards to help me calm down.

Hope it helps.

[Phil]

Ya'll offer great advice :wink: so there's nowt much i can add..i had an unhealthy relationship with razors when younger and it weren't till i talked to someone about it that i was able too stop ..for me it was a teacher (PE teacher at that lol) someone i'd never have considered un-approachable let alone helpfull but just bein able too un-burden and talk made things sooo much easier! :smile:

[zeon]

hello. i wonted to write about this and it is abit bad but i wonted to see about it on here . i hope it isnt silly or bad. what if there was a problem about hurting yourself on pupose like if you was sad or cross.and it is quite bad but if you cant help it. is it very unhelathy for you. what can you do if you got a problem with it :frown: .i dident now if to write this or not i hope it is ok.

Hiya joesph,
First off hurting yourself isnt a bad thing.. If people say your wierd or loony etc dont beleive them.. I am an ex self harmer and have got scars on my arms and legs from self harming through my depression era (18-20) and it isnt done out of stupidity.. You self harm because you have alot of emotional pressure inside which is upsetting you and it has been psychologically prooven that self harming takes the pain away hence the saying that pain covers pain..
Now trying to stop it it will stop when its ready.. I learnt my lesson which made me beleive i was going to die was when i slashed my arms with a pair of scissors and went right down to the bone. End result get on the bus for free find out it stops bleeding by the time you get to the hospital so stick a plaster over it and now i got a multi coloured scar that changes colour from red to purple depending on whether its summer or winter lol..
Now the reason why people self harm babes is because its a cry for help.. You have something bothering you that your not wanting to talk about or feel uncomfortable talking about with another person so therefore your taking it out on yourself.. Also in the equation there is fustration at not being able to talk to others about something.. My advice is if you cannot talk to someone about an issue which is leading you to do self harm if its any easier feel free to message me.. I wont think your wierd strange or put you down because i am also a self harmer and have scars to proove it..

Kindest regards and hugs

zeon x

[joseph]

hello thank you. i am not same proper like some peple becase i dident make it bleed but just hit my head.i made a bump hitting my head when i was very cross about some men being nasty to me!i hope you are ok now

[luke500]

One of my friends had some kind of psycological problem which ment he built up frustration and tension, he released it in much the same way you do. Eventually he asked for help we (me and my friends) did alsorts to help and it eventually did, we kept him busy realy and let him loose his frustraion at somthing else, we took him running, boxing, to the cinema, cooking classes... basically we found somthing that he could release his tension in, or at, he found cooking worked for him, one of the most butch and masculine guys i know, puts on an apron and you see a diffrent man. :smile: Try finding somthing that you can release your self at that either makes you too tired to care or too happy to think about it, or both. It works, so dont worry mate, their are plenty of ways to get rid of this, even just talking about it helped him. :xyxthumbs:

[BiPenny]

Joseph have you tried using a stress ball? I hope you don't mind me suggesting this to you. Stress balls are really squidgy balls (they can come in all sorts of shapes though - I bought my friend a stress willy once!) and when you are upset or angry you can squeeze them really hard and even throw them (not at anything that breaks!!!) to help yourself feel better. Like this>>>

[Only registered and activated users can see links]

you can get them from lots of shops. (The stress willy was from Ann Summers but I don't know if your mum would like that idea!)

[gaygay33]

Do you still hurt yourself? Have you asked a professional for help yet? A lot of people do that, there's even a website / forum for it. I've been self harming for years, I don't have too many scares, maybe 1 or 2 because I never cut deep enough and I was scared of blood. It's going to sound crazy too but I hit myself a lot. I don't want to do it anymore because it's not something I enjoy or ever did, but it was a way to try to let a lot of feelings out.

I probably started doing it when I was 15, and here I am now at 33 starting to get help for it! I'm learning a lot of safer alternatives so hope you are too.

[joseph]

i did it still but not even hit my head scratsed with a nife. but becose i was sad

[gaygay33]

i did it still but not even hit my head scratsed with a nife. but becose i was sad

Hi. I forgot, do you talk to a counselor about it? Did you experience anything traumatic in your life? I thought that I was the only guy who did that to myself but I guess not.
My goal is to stop doing it. I"m not sure when but hopefully soon. I've been being really open with my counselor, and I usually am not, but it's kind of hard not to when you see that person 3 x a week.

Did you ever think of taking a beer or coke bottle and smashing against something and hearing it break? It does release a lot of feelings that need to come out. Let us know.

[joseph]

hello i am so sad was it the docter.i never seen the docter.

[fjp999]

hello i am so sad was it the docter.i never seen the docter.

joseph I believe you told me about seeing one doctor one time. This is the kind of doctor that you just talk to and say about your feelings and such.

Have you seen that doctor (I think you said it was a woman) many times or just the once?

:remybussi:

[joseph]

i m soon. november.becase and i was so sad about the dietisn and i been sad and that and mum said i will see the docter soon

[gaygay33]

Well that's good. Do you ever think maybe you coud try to acomplish what you want without the dietician? There's lots of information online!

[ardus]

Hey Joseph, when I was younger I used to punch the walls when I'd get angry and things would build up in me until I couldn't contain them. I broke my knuckles a few times but lucky for me nothing more serious than that.
I've also gone through phases where I took my anger out on other people by hurting them, and that I'm even less proud of. In the end, you gotta find a healthy outlet for your frustrations and negative emotions. For me I threw myself into my work and I started to work out a lot more and it helped me but it's different for everyone.
Richard

[Amigo]

Hey Joseph, when I was younger I used to punch the walls when I'd get angry and things would build up in me until I couldn't contain them. I broke my knuckles a few times but lucky for me nothing more serious than that.
I've also gone through phases where I took my anger out on other people by hurting them, and that I'm even less proud of. In the end, you gotta find a healthy outlet for your frustrations and negative emotions. For me I threw myself into my work and I started to work out a lot more and it helped me but it's different for everyone.
Richard

That sounds like 'growing up'.

Similar here. But now golf is my 'outlet'.