What do i do?!

[Adzz02]

Heya...

Basically, me and this guy have tried a relationship with each other 3 times now. First time i got freaked out by the whole Gay experience, which he understood. A bit later, we tried it again and we took things slow and didn't do anything until like the 7/8th meet? But again, i got freaked out.
Third time, we met up once but then between us agreed not to take it further...
Just before Christmas, he emailed me after about a month not speaking and said he has been thinking about me alot etc. I replied and on his 4th? email, he told me to delete him from everything because its too hard for him to get over me. I said if thats what he wants, then its fine.
Anyway, after about 2 weeks, I have started thinking about him again! Everyday the thought goes through my head. Ive tried just looking at his profiles on some websites, but he has blocked me on them and is never online (obviously blocked me there too).

We have so much history between us. I just miss our general chats more than anything! I think the only thing thats holding me back from contacting him, is being rejected etc. Another reason why i dont want to contact him, is because he is from Isle Of Wight, which isnt hard to get to as such, but its annoying at times. If i wanted to be with him, i possibly wouldnt be able to, whereas if he was over here, i could just meet up with him or something?

... But yea, do you think i should try contacting him again? Or would it just be best for both of us to move on?

Thanks guys :) x

[TheLastDJ]

Southampton - Cowes isn't too hard you know :wink:

I'd try contacting him, just explain how you feel but make sure you let him know it's up to him where things go.

[Phil]

IMO if its likely ya will "freak out" again..i'd let him go and move on...wouldn't be fair on either of ya specially as he's successfully avoided ya so far :wink:

[Adzz02]

I have been to Cowes many times now, its just like if he was here / i was there its alot easier to see each other like whenever.
... I guess when we did meet, it would be more special tho?

I dont think i would freak out again, since, ive had more 'experiences' and think im ready for it all so to speak.

But thanks for the replys anyway :D x

[Star Twister]

It does sound very complicated Adzz and because it is complicated I would tend to leave it.........

However that is my opinion......

It is entirely up to you what you want to do, I'm always a believer in go with your heart.......

As long as you don't hurt anyone along the way.


Good Luck Sweet Pee

xxxx

[Phil]

Good Luck Sweet (Pea)

xxxx

Fixed :rofl:

[Adzz02]

Hmm... Yea it kinda is complicated indeed.
I wouldnt even know how to contact him again like what to say!

As i said, i generally just miss the chats we used to have. Would be up most of the night just talking hehe :)

What would you guys do in this situation / have you been in a similar situation yourselves?! x

[Phil]

What would you guys do in this situation / have you been in a similar situation yourselves?! x

IMO .i'd let him go and move on... :wink:

More fish in the sea n all that stuff!

[Adzz02]

So move on then? x

[Phil]

Thats what i'd do :wink:

Do ya miss him as a potential partner tho or as someone too chat too ? If ya think things might work then go for it...ya could always email him see what he thinks!

[Adzz02]

I think i do see him as a potential partner yea. Cos the times we did meet, i enjoyed v.much. I think things could possibly work out, but its just what do i say to him? :( x

[Phil]

Best policy is honesty :xyxthumbs: Tell him ya been thinkin bout him and wonder if he still feels the same....if ya dont try ya'll never know!

[Adzz02]

Yea, i guess that is the only way to find out.
I think i will try and pluck up the courage and email him tomorrow i think :)

Thanks Phil! x

[Phil]

Most welcome [Only registered and activated users can see links]

[fjp999]

HiYa Adzz,

I guess I kinda see this in a different light. Now, ya dont go into details about trying a relationship or about freaking out by the experience... so I could be totally wrong about this all but this is what I see.

Ya got issues with your homosexuality and your bud cant trust ya to get it together. Now that you may have lost your bud ya wanna try again. You bring up some distance issues but seems that ya been together in close proximity to know if ya got the fever for him or not. You say that you are worried about being rejected by him but it seems that you rejected him/a relationship at least three times.

I am sure that he has really serious feelings for you but he cant deal with your freaking out again. I dont think he can even be friends with ya as it will bring him back to you and he seems to really want to move on.

You are very young and need more experience in dealing with your own feelings and how to deal with another person as a mate.

Again, I could be totally out of line in all this and hope you dont take offense as it is just what I am reading into your posting.

Best of luck young man,
frank

[marshlander]

If you like him that much give him a break and let him go. You've messed with his head and his heart enough. He's trying to deal with what happened (or didn't), so respect that and put it down to experience. Better luck next time.

[Adzz02]

I dont think i will get freaked out again. Ive had um enough experience not to?
... And im pretty sure that im Gay, i prefer men alot more than women anyway.

Life is just so complicated! Gr :P
Do you not think it could just be worth emailing him and seeing what happens? Or just do what he has done, and delete him so to speak? x

[Shadow]

Personally, I would advocate getting back in touch with him so long as you take care not to mess him about again ...

That is definitely not to say that you have to be with him, but definitely no freaking-out - just approach it calmly, rationally, honestly, and openly ... and be respectful of his OBVIOUSLY huge feelings for you, as otherwise you do run the risk of permanently damaging both his feelings, and your friendship, if you don't take care when dealing with him in the future.

... but if you DO want to be with him - even if it IS just as a friend, then personally I view that as a good thing, and would therefore act upon it.

:smile:.

xx

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Adzz02]

Yea, i mean i know how much ive hurt him before and wouldnt want to do that again... And as i said, i just miss our chats in general. I would love to juts start over again as friends and then if something more happens it does (which would be great).

Thanks :) x

[Phil]

:xyxthumbs: Good luck!

[Adzz02]

Hey guys, just thought id let ya know that i messaged him, and we spoke quite a bit last night :) All positive (Apart from the first few mins).
... But yea, going to meet up on monday i think and discuss it in more depth :)
Ty to those who said contact him hehe x

[Phil]

Congrats dood! :cool:

[fjp999]

cant wait to hear how it comes out Monday... best of luck.

[Star Twister]

Good Luck Adzz

I hope it works out for you both

:remybussi:

[zeon]

Hiya,
I feel that it would be better if you first came to terms with your sexuality.. Of course email him and tell himt hat the times that go by you do think about him but are going through the whole thing of accepting yourself... The reason why your freaking out is because its a scary experience for ya.. I had that too at first and wasnt comfortable until id accepted myself first... Of course lay down some boundaries and tell him your not committing to anything and he is not to commit until your both ready so have it like a date.. Build trust in him and vice versa and then when both ready go for it and dont turn back ig uess