Participants Needed

[fiona]

Cant offer money but i may buy you a coffee or pint ;)

My names Fiona and Im an anthropology student in her fina year i really need help with my dissertation topic which for many is a sensitive issue.

I am looking at the historical and social progression of HIV in the gay community.

I wanted to hear your stories (if you are gay and a HIV carrier)

The idea is its not the 1980's so how does the virus affect your life?
I have had people telling me its a blessing in disguise and others who feel distraught but I really need to speak to as many people as possible to get a real feel of modern HIV carriers lives.

This is a nuetral study no judgement will be made, participants can remain anonomous and we could even do it by email but i really need your help.

so if your happy to tell me your story please do

Fiona

[sweetlad86]

Hi and welcome to the site.

Your dissertation sounds really interesting their should be some people on here who should be able to help you..

[fjp999]

The basis of the dissertation is its not 1980's things have changes whats the world like now for carriers. Its completly nuetral and all I am looking for is your story !
:)

Except for not really being clear on your basis of your dissertation, wow, what a run on sentence ya got there :party: :party: :party:

for a short time in the 80s I had a mysterious health issue. My grandmothers doc diagnosed, he DIAGNOSED me with HIV by my appearance, LOL... He called my uni, a major research medical uni, and told him of his DIAGNOSIS. I went thru the tests. At the time I was told that the test was something like $125,000. Everyone was very nice. I will never forget how wonderful the main research physician was... but the other staff was a bit nervous, nice but putting on 5 sets of gloves to take my blood hehehe...

It turned out that I had a very rare form or mono which was nearly thru its course by the time I was DIAGNOSED with HIV...

Just last year I saw my HIV doc on tv. He was the main witness in front of the USA Senate on HIV. He was still the most amazing gentleman beaming with care.

So, for a short time I had HIV but not really :baby2:

[Marlborolad]

Hi Fiona,

I'm a little confused about exactly what you're looking for...

"Historical and cultural changes in HIV"?

Do you mean the changes in society? public opinion? funding? treatment? the virus itself?

"The basis of the dissertation is its not 1980's things have changes whats the world like now for carriers"

It's not the 1980's, things have to change...

Bit of a redundant question to be honest. Things have changed considerably, and perhaps better to focus on these changes.

I'd be happy to put you in touch with some friends who live with the virus - but you'll need to define your area of research.


Cris x

[fjp999]

I have had people telling me its a blessing in disguise

WoW, I dont know if you can share this opinion as it is the very first time I have EVER heard of such an opinion... Dont want to destroy your work by biasing it and having you openly discuss it here but would really love to hear how folk believe it is a blessing in disguise :coffee:

[princealbertofb]

Hi and welcome to the site.

Your dissertation sounds really interesting. There should be some people on here who should be able to help you..

Yes, Sweets, but who??? :confused: Who do we know from here who's a 'sufferer'?

[sweetlad86]

Yes, Sweets, but who??? :confused: Who do we know from here who's a 'sufferer'?

I meant in away that even if don't nothing about it we can still discuss the better....

:peepwall:

[Arthur.FWT]

I've heard of this, but, urm, well it seems an odd idea to me. I never met anyone suffering from it who thought this but there seems to be a group who, I don't know, appreciate it? Seems to range from folks being glad of the forced change of perspective to the downright oddness of "gift-giving/receiving", which I thought was an urban myth. Turns out...no. :confused: Might be worth taking a look at that.

WoW, I dont know if you can share this opinion as it is the very first time I have EVER heard of such an opinion... Dont want to destroy your work by biasing it and having you openly discuss it here but would really love to hear how folk believe it is a blessing in disguise :coffee:

[yar]

WoW, I dont know if you can share this opinion as it is the very first time I have EVER heard of such an opinion... Dont want to destroy your work by biasing it and having you openly discuss it here but would really love to hear how folk believe it is a blessing in disguise :coffee:
Yea right strange way of looking at a life treating illness.
:hello: and :welcome:

[spotysocks]

Here we go again............ another student another dissertation (sometimes is a questionnaire/essay) who sees gay community as subject for research and gayspeak the ground for that. It is boring and offensive to me as a gay man to be treated as a statistic for all the illeneses social and physical ones and i cannot be polite any more. Go to HIV clinics, talk to HIV patients face to face if they want to talk to you and do your dissertation, thats how it is done! Good luck with your degree but no thanks (including the pint/coffee).
On the other hand if YOU want to share your story you are welcome to do so and be listened in a different mode.

[yar]

Way to go Sportysocks I to find it offensive. You are 100% correct they should go out and physically get in touch with the subjects of their (what ever). Of course that would mean having to work for their grade.

[fjp999]

Way to go Sportysocks I to find it offensive. You are 100% correct they should go out and physically get in touch with the subjects of their (what ever). Of course that would mean having to work for their grade.


hehehe

what really bugs me is they never stay very long to really develop a relationship.

[marshlander]

Way to go Sportysocks I to find it offensive. You are 100% correct they should go out and physically get in touch with the subjects of their (what ever). Of course that would mean having to work for their grade.
I'm sure Fiona's request was not meant offensively. These days we have unprecedented access to people from all sorts of different backgrounds. When I was a student I had no idea that by the time I was in my fifties I would have a partner in another country and a network of penpals around the world with whom I can have instant "conversations".

We have a generation of students who can now pull essays and dissertations off the web at will and using the web as an early port of call when trawling for information makes sense. Who's to say that this richness of information will not lead to more in depth examination of the evidence, including the good ol' fashioned face to face interview?

If one's normal circle of contacts does not knowingly include people who can comment at first hand on the area of intended study, one has to start somewhere.

[fiona]

Ok seems i have a lot of issues to respond to.

Firstly this isnt a student seeking out the gay community my research is on HIV the reason im looking at the gay community is not because i see homosexuals as an amazing subcategory of normal culture. I dont even believe in gender and sexual preference its all social constructs to me. The only reason I am focusing on the gay community is the history of HIV in western society meant it was firstly placed within the sphere of the gay community hence the innitial name of GRID.

The reason im asking online is because its still a sensitive issue for many people and im not very confident about opening up dialect face to face as i really dont want to offend anyone. If i put a request here as well as other places Iv advertised then if anyone is interested they can help and if not they can never read my post again and it wont feel like im targeting them.

With reference to who things its a blessing in disguise well in popular media their is a lot of personal self confessions of people saying it turned their lives around it made them refocus. also if you have a link to JSTOR their is an article about south africa which also talks about people who the virus changed their lives, empowered them to join a NGO and promote viral medication and a lot of people dont see the virus as the end of their lives but just the same as any other long term menageble illness and it often creates a relfective look on the past and causes people to look to their futures because its often the first time they have evaluated their lives and thought about what they want to achieve in life. This is obviously not everyone but my point is im not trying to turn a hiv carrier into a "suffere" or a "victim".

[fiona]

Hi Fiona,

I'm a little confused about exactly what you're looking for...

"Historical and cultural changes in HIV"?

Do you mean the changes in society? public opinion? funding? treatment? the virus itself?

"The basis of the dissertation is its not 1980's things have changes whats the world like now for carriers"

It's not the 1980's, things have to change...

Bit of a redundant question to be honest. Things have changed considerably, and perhaps better to focus on these changes.

I'd be happy to put you in touch with some friends who live with the virus - but you'll need to define your area of research.


Cris x


Hi cris,

Sorry if my dissertation seemed vague i didnt want to write my whole precis down and scare anybody who might be interested in telling their story.

Although im aware that history does cause change illness are one of those things that are often percieved as ahistorical as if their relationship to the world is just the virus or what it is my dissertation is to look at how the experience of the hiv carrier has changed since the 1980's and I will obviously relfect on media, treatment, community making and politics.

It begins with a historical approach looking at the 1980's the language used to describe HIV, the theories behind the virus, why in the west we decided it was a gay virus when in america their was almost equal amounts of drug user carriers and Haiti carriers were also present. (I would argue money in a private health care system ) the problems that were created by it becoming identified as a Gay problem even its origional terming as GRID.

I will look at advert campaigns that have been out in the uk both government and gay literature to see the progression of the story told.

All this i can comment on without needing to hear form anyone but as I study anthropology and I dont want to describe how someone would feel as i obviously dont feel it. I need to talk to people and just let them tell me how their world has been. This can include anything they want really its their experience their story. family, relationships, work, view of themselves, treatment but I cant really say what I want because I dont want anything Its essential I get their view to give an insight into the modern carrier.

I could use articles in magazines and online but as published work they tend to describe the same scenario and were published for a reason usually to shine a positive light on HIV and I really want to talk to a wider community.

What I find will essentially round up my dissertation and will become my main focus of thoughts I am hoping that the life of a carrier of HIV is a lot better today than the 1980's and the stigma that existed but I dont know for sure and its unfair to suggest things have turned out in a way without talking to people.

Lol thats a bit long winded but does it kinda explain myself better to you?

Fee x

[princealbertofb]

Fee, thanks for this information and bothering to respond. I agree with Marshlander about what the Internet can provide now, that was not a source for us in our youths. You are perfectly entitled to ask even if some of us do not wish to respond. I also understand Spotysocks's claim that he does not want to be viewed as GAY therefore POTENTIALLY an Aids carrier. The image has brought too much negativity into the community already. But there are also those who see HIV as an opportunity to reassess how their lives will be led and also, unfortunately those who misbehave totally when they find out they are affected (references to the Virgin cures for instance, or those who think "giving" the "gift" (big, nay HUGE ENORMOUS inverted commas here) is cool and sets us apart and makes us a specific community. There will always be extremes in any group. I don't think anyone should be "given the gift" and certainly not if they know nothing about it. But that's my point of view. My brother died of Aids; it was a horrible way to die. I do not wish that sickness on anyone and I don't see how being HIV positive can really improve one's quality of life... It'll make you do things differently and maybe make you find out who your real friends are, but mostly, it'll force you to a lifetime of taking drugs to prevent the virus from developing into something nastier. Aids, anywhere in the world, still needs a cure or eradication. I don't see that happening in the near future, unfortunately.

[fredv3b]

Simple question. Is there any evidence that the 'gift-giving' thing is anything more than an urban myth?

[princealbertofb]

Simple question. Is there any evidence that the 'gift-giving' thing is anything more than an urban myth?

Yes, I'm afraid it's true... One of my friends recently contracted HIV through an infected boyfriend... He wanted to share this condition with him and it was (for my friend) the ultimate proof of love. The boyfriend then ditched him leaving him in a very very sorry state and very strong suicidal tendencies. Never did it occur to the boyfriend to say to my friend 'No, you don't want that' or 'I refuse to infect you'... stupid asshole!

[fjp999]

Simple question. Is there any evidence that the 'gift-giving' thing is anything more than an urban myth?

have also read of "parties" being shut down by the health department in NYC thru respected media.

Just horrible that South Africa is going thru one chaotic state into another and another... the virgin cures and now reports of HIV meds being stolen and smoked to get stoned.

[marshlander]

Yes, I'm afraid it's true... One of my friends recently contracted HIV through an infected boyfriend ...
While N's wish to share his boyfriend's HIV status is tragic, I am surprised at the lucidity with which he explains his decision. While the boyfriend may have been the weaker partner in that he allowed this to happen only to find that he could not cope with the consequences, I don't think we really know the kind of pressures he was under to share his curse. Both were complicit in this very sad train of events.

[fiona]

Im not necessarily talking about gift giving

I was actually talking about people who think its provided them with a new focus on life or that the virus has challenged them to identify whats important for them to achieve because they have realised how fragile life is. Or they reached a low and have turned their lives into a ocmpletly new direction becoming politically active working for organisations paying more attention to their health and helping others those kind of things.

Rather than gift giving or bug catching.

Anyway if anyone is willing to talk about their experiences please send me a message

[zeon]

Hi Fiona,
As i am not positive yet ive had experience of being friends with someone who was HIV before he passed away i can share that experience...

Over the 6 years i knew him he seemed to be alright and whatnot else until his body kind of just gave up.. The cause of this was that he was fed up of taking loads of anti virual drugs on a disease which was changing all the time with different strans.. His viral load was through the roof and his CD4 count was low.. Once it had dropped below 100 he told me that now is the time for him to stop medication and enjoy his life.. He would be in the pub everyday and smoke LOADS.. I think he had admitted defeat BUT wouldnt want to know when his time was so he drank himself stupid everyday.. Sitting in the pub surrounded by his closest friends was what he wanted and he got to his dying day but because he was always pissed iu dont think he knew when he was going to die or even be aware.. I have learnt that alot of people do fight the bug and live long lives so they can still enjoy the satisfaction... One thing i told him before he died was to stop and have faith in finding a cure as theres an antidote to everything out there just a case of finding it...