Why do straight men always feel like gay men are coming on to them?

[TuxSky]

I wasn't sure where I was supposed to post this but here goes!

Why is it that straight men always feel like gay men are coming on to them? I once had an internet buddy who told me that he came out to a male friend of his and he ended their friendship because he felt as if he was pursuing/attracted to him. I guess my question can extend into why gays are seen as such a sexualized people.

What are your thoughts, everyone?

[fenris]

I think the problem is - after my experiences - they a scared to be confused with gay males ... and they see maybe a guy and think that this guy looks nice and then they are scared by their own feelings... like " it can´t be that I´m attracted by a male"...
But a real 100 % straight male is so sure about his feeling that he isn´t disturbed by a gay male in his near. Like I can see that a woman is nice .. or maybe beautiful ... and I´m not scared I could be straight *G

That reminds me on a story with a friend of mine - we are same aged and she knows that I´m gay since maybe 28 years ... she has a boyfriend... he know´s I´m gay and was very strange the first weeks we know us . I have asked her .. what´s with him... and she told me he´s very unsure ´cause I´m gay...
As I seen him alone in the kitchen I ´ve talked to him : " There is no need to be scared because I´m gay... You´re not my Type ... only because she thinks you are looking nice I must not .. If I want to see Monkeys I went to the Zoo.. " And we have had not a very good friendship later... but we respected us... and if he had problems with her he talked to me...

[SlipknotRlZZ]

You know how it is - they are either afraid they might turn out gay, or just want to show hom masculine and male they are.

[marshlander]

Because most of them have such huge egos it is inconceivable that they wouldn't be fanciable?

[fredv3b]

Similarly, there are a few straight men who feel insulted if you don't come on to them.

[fenris]

Similarly, there are a few straight men who feel insulted if you don't come on to them.

yes .. this cases I know, too .. and it can be very funny :-) They're really shocked, if you dare it to find them not attractive...

[TuxSky]

Haha, offended if we don't find them attractive? That point with them ''catching the gay'', ugh, it's so stupid I hate when people think it's a disease or something.

I asked a friend of mines my question and she told me it's because we're moreorless bombarded by the promiscous gay man stereotype. Thinking about it, we are, aren't we? There are some terrible depictions of homosexuals in the media and if I were straight and didn't know any gay people, I may have thought they were always looking for sex, were ''fabulous'' and always hunting straight men too, it's sad to think about.

For some people, if they don't know one type of people (of a certain race, gender etc) you'd base their behavior off of the stereotype.

[Lilmy87]

Because most of them have such huge egos it is inconceivable that they wouldn't be fanciable?

Ha ha, I agree. Maybe they think homosexuality works differently to heterosexuality; or else they suppose all the straight women they encounter too, must fancy them. It must be a burden, seeing so much of their encounters, interactions and relationships through the prism of sexuality.

[fredv3b]

Maybe they think homosexuality works differently to heterosexuality; or else they suppose all the straight women they encounter too, must fancy them.

I am sure they do think all straight women fancy them, but women being the complex creatures they don't necessarily show it.

[Ultra]

I used to think I was straight and I know what a straight dude's world is like. Straight guys fear that gay guys are going to convert them to being gay. Straight guys think that gay guys are going to approach them and touch their cocks. Then it's so extreme that some straight guys may even think that gay guys are going to screw them from behind. No freakin' way!

[princealbertofb]

Where did I read that a relatively high percentage of gay people would rather date another gay person than try converting a straight person?

[Rychard the Lionheart]

It is the straight male's ego, especially in front of females. Many of these so called butch males are hostile to gay men, because they fear a female will reject them for not being very masculine if they have any contact with gay men . Another issue is the perception of being gay, many straight men still believe in the stereotype gay. Being soft, into girlie things and a high voice etc., not all gay men are like that. Only through better education on accepting different sexualities will hopefully improve these issues.

Eventually over time these butch males will become extinct just like the Neanderthal man because of their small brains and the inability to adapt to the changing world we live in.

[jimcrackcorn]

Many straight men feel uncomfortable being around gay men. This uncomfortable feeling is usually based on misguided perceptions of homosexuality that they learn in school yards, or from family and friends, or church. The first thing most people learn about homosexuals is the derogatory names that gays & lesbians are called. It certainly doesn't help when people focus on the 50% that are very promiscuous within our community while ignoring the other 50% who are not. It's no wonder they are afraid to associate with us when they perceive ALL gays & lesbians in a negative light.

These uncomfortable feelings can be classified as Homophobia = the fear of being in close quarters with a gay man.

[Aaycle]

LMAO @ Rychard the Lionheart. Here's to evolution.

[marshlander]

... Eventually over time these butch males will become extinct just like the Neanderthal man because of their small brains and the inability to adapt to the changing world we live in.
... although we retain about 4% Neanderthal DNA. So who was trying to turn whom in this prehistoric interbreeding? ;)

[Ultra]

Many straight men feel uncomfortable being around gay men. This uncomfortable feeling is usually based on misguided perceptions of homosexuality that they learn in school yards, or from family and friends, or church. The first thing most people learn about homosexuals is the derogatory names that gays & lesbians are called. It certainly doesn't help when people focus on the 50% that are very promiscuous within our community while ignoring the other 50% who are not. It's no wonder they are afraid to associate with us when they perceive ALL gays & lesbians in a negative light.

These uncomfortable feelings can be classified as Homophobia = the fear of being in close quarters with a gay man.

Yup, that's pretty accurate. I was sorta like that when I thought I was straight. However I didn't find out I was gay until I was 13-14.

[Rychard the Lionheart]

... although we retain about 4% Neanderthal DNA. So who was trying to turn whom in this prehistoric interbreeding? ;)

It would be interesting to find out if these butch males have a higher level of Neanderthal DNA. Sounds like a good idea for some professor's research paper and a government grant. :biggrin: