Worst way to come out? Post yours here.

[Pseudo Rob]

I always read Coming Out stories which are done really sensibly i.e. sitting down with parents and explaining to them your feeling etc but I have never heard a coming out story where someone, for example, throws an object at someone and shouts "I'M GAY AND I HAVE SUCKED MORE DICKS THAN YOU'VE HAD HOT DINNERS!!!"

So, I'd like to encourage you guys out there, who think that you could've come out in a better way, to post your coming out story.


Mine (mine isnt as good as the example; I'm just quite ashamed of it):

Was at a friends party. I got really drunk but had to be home for the night so, instead of going to get a train for myself, my friends had to stop me from collapsing in to the road and then ring a taxi for me.

On the way back I was trying to persuade the taxi driver to drive his taxi in to a government building. When I arrived home, I emptied my wallet on to the already paid taxi drivers lap and went indoors.

Got indoors and started to cry and talk about how useless I was and how great my mum was. Then, as my mother was trying to comfort me, I said "I have a secret but I cant tell you" which made it almost inevitable that she would find out before the night was over. In the end I told her I was gay and then basically went to sleep almost immediately.

You know in the morning, after you've had a drink-loaded night, and your memories of the night before slowly come back to you? Yeah. I think thats the first time that I've ever woken up and shouted "FUCK" before.

But yeah, she was and is supportive and, as far as I can tell, comfortable with it. She did ask me if I had been molested though... Which, looking back, is a pretty old-fashioned reaction isnt it?

[The Virgin]

worst way to come out would probably be right after a church mass....

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

My sister outed me at thanks giving dinner it was a real mess.

[East]

I got up one morning when I was a sophomore in High School and it hit me that I was gay...I was thrilled actually because I really liked the more flamboyant folks I knew about but at the time I didn't realize that it was possible to be masculine and gay too. It wasn't as though there were any role models and I thought you had to be flamboyant to actually BE "gay":biggrin: at the time....

Within the hour my parents and my bothers all knew and I loved telling them because I hoped it would piss them off.

[The Virgin]

another one worst way to come out is in the middle of you own wedding.....

[jamiebfd]

worst way to come out would probably be right after a church mass....

haha yeah...
then it gets worse when they find out you have been sleeping with the priest lmfao!!!!

[Dark Angel]

My sister outed me at thanks giving dinner it was a real mess.

wow, that sucks :/ was it by accident?

[Beaux]

I think about all those "sensible" comming out stories and just think "I wish"

I was married (yes to a woman lol) for six years (quite happily actually) but then we had a HUGE fight over some really petty things one day and she said she was leaving and never coming back. I was pretty pst so I was like "leave then". She got in her car and drove off and I figured she would be back later. Well, a week passed and she didnt come back. I got pretty depressed and started drinking. A friend from high school showed up and we got twisted drunk togeather. I really dont remember much about that night but we woke up togeather naked in my bed. At first it was pretty uncomfortable, but then he kissed me and next thing you know we were going at it pretty hot and heavy. Thats when my wife walked in on us lolz. Apparently she had decided to come back to me. I will never forget the look on her face :eek: Anyway by the end of the day she had told EVERYONE we knew, my parents, her parents, EVERYONE. We divorced a couple months later. Thats how I came out of the closet. :redface:

[Evilbunnie]

My porn outed me when my nosey ass dad (God bless him) decided to go snooping around under my bed. He totally flipped, which really pissed me off because he caught my cousin watching straight porn in my room and only asked me to slightly chastise him for being silly enough to fall asleep with it on.

[simon]

I think about all those "sensible" comming out stories and just think "I wish"

I was married (yes to a woman lol) for six years (quite happily actually) but then we had a HUGE fight over some really petty things one day and she said she was leaving and never coming back. I was pretty pst so I was like "leave then". She got in her car and drove off and I figured she would be back later. Well, a week passed and she didnt come back. I got pretty depressed and started drinking. A friend from high school showed up and we got twisted drunk togeather. I really dont remember much about that night but we woke up togeather naked in my bed. At first it was pretty uncomfortable, but then he kissed me and next thing you know we were going at it pretty hot and heavy. Thats when my wife walked in on us lolz. Apparently she had decided to come back to me. I will never forget the look on her face :eek: Anyway by the end of the day she had told EVERYONE we knew, my parents, her parents, EVERYONE. We divorced a couple months later. Thats how I came out of the closet. :redface:



OMG, so many questions but I'll limit myself to one,was that the first time you had been with a man or had feelings for men? (ok thats a cheeky two questions)

[Beaux]

OMG, so many questions but I'll limit myself to one,was that the first time you had been with a man or had feelings for men? (ok thats a cheeky two questions)

lol I can handle 2 cheeky questions :biggrin:

Wasnt the frist time, when I was 16 I messed around with a friend of a friend. It was REALLY lously though, as soon as he got off it was over, leaving me feeling wierd and unsatisfied.

I had had real feelings for a guy about the same time I had my first experience with a guy (16) so I knew that there was a part of me that liked guys but I never had the guts to tell him how I felt so it never went anywhere.

[simon]

cheers for the answers,it's strange how different people cope with being gay,I hid it but could never have gone with a woman and others either surpress it or don't accept it,yet we get told it's a choice.

[Beaux]

cheers for the answers,it's strange how different people cope with being gay,I hid it but could never have gone with a woman and others either surpress it or don't accept it,yet we get told it's a choice.

I no right. Choice makes it sound optional. I went a few years being "bi" and dating women and men, but the one would always ruin the other. Women I dated didnt trust that I wasnt sleeping with guys on the side and guys I dated complained I was riding the fence. Eventually I just started self identifying as gay to save the confusion. I prefer the company of men. Sex is sex, it feels the same to me wether it is a guy or a girl, but on a comfort lvl I just prefer to hang out with guys and feel that I get more out of relationships with them than I do with women. Just me.

[Markluvsu]

My mum walked in on me with another man :s

[ralary]

I dont like coming out story,it is horrible sometimes

[LiZaRD_PlaNET]

I came out in a Women's Studies college course:redface:

[lokilol]

I came out to my mom a few weeks ago actually. I wasn't really worried about coming out to her since I knew she would be pretty much supportive, I was just delaying it to avoid the annoying questions that come afterward lol "When did you know?" , "Are you sure?" etc..:rolleyes:

So I was picking her up from work, and planning to go visit a lady friend from college for the weekend in Glasgow.
So My mom was like "So tell me the truth are you and X an item ?", "Do you love here? " she just kept drilling me with questions... So Finally when I ended the conversation with denial, I said
"Mom, I dont like girls....." :dance3:
The inevitable awkward moment passed, and then she started with annoying questions I was hoping to avoid lol.

I'm just relieved its over :D but then again there still more people I have to come out to :S

[princealbertofb]

I think about all those "sensible" comming out stories and just think "I wish"

I was married (yes to a woman lol) for six years (quite happily actually) but then we had a HUGE fight over some really petty things one day and she said she was leaving and never coming back. I was pretty pst so I was like "leave then". She got in her car and drove off and I figured she would be back later. Well, a week passed and she didnt come back. I got pretty depressed and started drinking. A friend from high school showed up and we got twisted drunk togeather. I really dont remember much about that night but we woke up togeather naked in my bed. At first it was pretty uncomfortable, but then he kissed me and next thing you know we were going at it pretty hot and heavy. Thats when my wife walked in on us lolz. Apparently she had decided to come back to me. I will never forget the look on her face :eek: Anyway by the end of the day she had told EVERYONE we knew, my parents, her parents, EVERYONE. We divorced a couple months later. Thats how I came out of the closet. :redface:


Now that's a classical FARCE situation to be in. I hope you were not ashamed...???

[princealbertofb]

I came out to my mom a few weeks ago actually. I wasn't really worried about coming out to her since I knew she would be pretty much supportive, I was just delaying it to avoid the annoying questions that come afterward lol "When did you know?" , "Are you sure?" etc..:rolleyes:

So I was picking her up from work, and planning to go visit a lady friend from college for the weekend in Glasgow.
So My mom was like "So tell me the truth are you and X an item ?", "Do you love here? " she just kept drilling me with questions... So Finally when I ended the conversation with denial, I said
"Mom, I dont like girls....." :dance3:
The inevitable awkward moment passed, and then she started with annoying questions I was hoping to avoid lol.

I'm just relieved its over :D but then again there still more people I have to come out to :S

But once you've told your mum (like the most important person ever to tell), you'll find it gets easier... Now about telling your dad, that might be tricky (in your situation).

[princealbertofb]

As you may know, my mother died a few days ago. We were looking through her papers to find the necessary stuff for the town to issue the death certificate, and had to scrape through tons of old papers, old letters, old cards, old and new bills, etc... I found the letter I wrote to her by e-mail some years ago, so I've kept it. I don't know if I want my brothers to read it... It's my story and my mother's story... I'm glad that she kept it though. She could so easily have just deleted the message (given the amount of e-mails that she's accumulated on her new computer, I'm guessing she never deleted any of them (on the old one, that would be)...
Here's to a mum who thought her son's coming out letter was important enough to print and keep. Cheers, mum. God bless.

[Beaux]

Now that's a classical FARCE situation to be in. I hope you were not ashamed...???

I had some serious shame issues for a while. I went through a masoganistic stage where I shifted the blame to my wife (You made me gay! lol) and I really had a lot of self hatred too. It took me a few years to really find myself, years moving around from city to city looking for something but didnt know what. In the end self acceptance came but it was a slow process. I am happier now than I was but it can be hard to let go of ones illusions and just be.

[cry0s]

I can somewhat relate to Beaux in this situation, but my story isn't nearly as exciting. I was married for 10 years before her and I decided to separate (long long story). I moved into my own home and finally realized that maybe it was okay for me to start being true to these feelings that had plagued me since my early teenage years. Long story short, I had a secret gay myspace, she found it, and sent me a text about it. My world came to a standstill and I felt frozen in time. I didn't know what to do.

Obviously, I was mortified, but that started a chain of events that allowed me to finally be out in the open without worry. I still don't openly announce it during regular conversation, because I find that ridiculous, but don't deny it either if I'm asked. On an even brighter side, her and I are best friends now a days and I'm lucky to have children.

[princealbertofb]

If you want the correct spelling, Beaux, it is actually misogynistic, for clarity's sake... But I know what you must have felt.

[princealbertofb]

I can somewhat relate to Beaux in this situation, but my story isn't nearly as exciting. I was married for 10 years before her and I decided to separate (long long story). I moved into my own home and finally realized that maybe it was okay for me to start being true to these feelings that had plagued me since my early teenage years. Long story short, I had a secret gay myspace, she found it, and sent me a text about it. My world came to a standstill and I felt frozen in time. I didn't know what to do.

Obviously, I was mortified, but that started a chain of events that allowed me to finally be out in the open without worry. I still don't openly announce it during regular conversation, because I find that ridiculous, but don't deny it either if I'm asked. On an even brighter side, her and I are best friends now a days and I'm lucky to have children.

Yes children can be a blessing... Nice that your wife finally understood and let you go.

[Beaux]

If you want the correct spelling, Beaux, it is actually misogynistic, for clarity's sake... But I know what you must have felt.

Thx for the correct spelling, but just cause I am gay doesnt mean that I am anal. ;)
I can live with imperfection. :rolleyes:

[lokilol]

But once you've told your mum (like the most important person ever to tell), you'll find it gets easier... Now about telling your dad, that might be tricky (in your situation).


Yup I know its getting easier, Im not worried about my family in Iceland, its the other crowd that worries me, then again what they dont know wont hurt them :D

But still I'm thankful to be in an accepting society and if for some reason if my Jordanian family and friends cannot accept me I know I can find sanctuary on this beautiful rock :biggrin:

[colinmackay]

I don't have any "worst" way story because I think I was one of the more sensible ones... Get dragged into a gay bar by a gay friend and come clean about it at 2AM in the morning.

However, in the month or so leading up to that event when I knew I had to say something to someone I almost blurted it out a few times.

On one occasion my Dad was interrogating me on when he was getting grandchildren from me because my sister's child didn't have the right surname. I got as far as telling him to "Phuq off" and then stopped, but it was so close.

A few days before I came out I was being made fun of by the wife of a colleague for making a jaw dropping motion in the direction of a bar maid in the pub we were in. I genuinely have difficulty breathing through my nose sometimes and I just needed some air, but she wouldn't buy that excuse and I almost blurted out, "I was not gawking at the bar maid because I'm gay!"

[James]

An open letter
Hi mom, dad, I need to talk to you but it's hard because I don't know how you will react and I don't want to hurt you. I remember being little and how you would take care of me and reassure me when I fell off my bike or the monsters in the closet and under the bed would scare me. I remember the encouragement you gave me when I would try new things and how you would help me with my school work when I didn't understand, patiently guiding me so I may succeed not only in school but in life. You both have cared so much and been my friends longer than anyone else I know. You always let me be myself and I hope that you still want that for me.
I guess what I am trying to say is I am still that same person, that you loved and cared for, and I love you and need you in my life just as much as I always have, maybe more. I remember the smiles, the laughter, and the closeness that only family can have. Your both very special to me and I wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world. I need your guidance and your patiance again, to help me through one more trial, please try and keep an open mind.
I am gay, I'm sorry I don't know how else to tell you, please don't cry or be mad, please. I understand if you hate me, I have hated myself for so long, I hurt inside so much, but I know that there is no way to change the way I feel, the way I am. I am so sorry for putting you through this, maybe this was a mistake, maybe I should just go, maybe it should just end. I wish I was little again.

This is what I wrote and felt when I was 14 and actually already outed, it almost caused blood shed and did have me on the streets for months, Jim

[NorCalE34]

My best friend (from 2005-2008) hit hard times, And I let him move in with me... Over time, My parents began to get suspicious since we shared a bed and I was quite protective of him. Over the 9 month period I began to fall in love with him, One night I got touchy in my sleep and he woke up at some point and confronted me the next morning, Asking if I was gay. After afew weeks of him trying to pull me out of the closet I finally gave in on the basis that he told me he was Bi and had been with a few guys before.

He coaxed me into telling my mom... She was ok with it, but not sold, thinking i was just Bi-curious... My dad was ok with it but didn't really have the sit down talk like I did with my mom, Except when I was riding with him somewhere he told me about liking someone that didn't like you. When my friend began to get the hint that I liked him he turned his attention to my younger sister who was on the rebound from ending a long relationship... I told him I loved him and in return he tried harder to get my younger sister (at some point about this time we slept together). He finally got his wish, then dumped her a week later... I said no more of THEM, He took it as a challenge and got her to date him again... after a fight and a police escort from my house (we didn't get physical, we just got stupid [or I did]) he left... To not be heard from again until easter last year wanting to get back with me, then backed out of that the following weekend.

[Beaux]

My best friend (from 2005-2008) hit hard times, And I let him move in with me... Over time, My parents began to get suspicious since we shared a bed and I was quite protective of him. Over the 9 month period I began to fall in love with him, One night I got touchy in my sleep and he woke up at some point and confronted me the next morning, Asking if I was gay. After afew weeks of him trying to pull me out of the closet I finally gave in on the basis that he told me he was Bi and had been with a few guys before.

He coaxed me into telling my mom... She was ok with it, but not sold, thinking i was just Bi-curious... My dad was ok with it but didn't really have the sit down talk like I did with my mom, Except when I was riding with him somewhere he told me about liking someone that didn't like you. When my friend began to get the hint that I liked him he turned his attention to my younger sister who was on the rebound from ending a long relationship... I told him I loved him and in return he tried harder to get my younger sister (at some point about this time we slept together). He finally got his wish, then dumped her a week later... I said no more of THEM, He took it as a challenge and got her to date him again... after a fight and a police escort from my house (we didn't get physical, we just got stupid [or I did]) he left... To not be heard from again until easter last year wanting to get back with me, then backed out of that the following weekend.

Wow dude that sucks, I gotta feel for ya on that one.

[NorCalE34]

Thanks, Yes it did... But you live and learn from your experiences. Because I felt unbearable heartache I think I'm quite a bit smarter today because of it. :cool:

[jbrowder24]

Mine don't compare to any others, and a couple were actually close call things. I remember a guy using my laptop in college seeing gay-dot-com in the history, which I blamed on someone else using my computer and soonafter learned how to clear that stuff. Another time in my mid-20s, I was at my parent's and going to meet up with friends so was maybe going to have to wait and wanted to take reading material for the parking lot. So I stuck an Out magazine inside a Rolling Stone. On my way out, my dad asked to take a look at my Rolling Stone.... Um.... no, dad, I need to get going? It was kind of awkward and I have no idea what he thought of me being so resistant lol.

All my actual coming outs were planned except for my sisters. It was over like Christmas, and I'd been working a lot of early shifts and was just so tired. I wanted to go to bed, but they blocked the stairs and kept asking me questions. To be honest, I am not sure if I would have come out to them then had I been more awake... but I wasn't. So I answered their questions, "Had I kissed a girl?" "Had I kissed a boy?" And finally was just like, "I just want to go to bed!" so clearing things up waited until a bit later.

[colinmackay]

My fiancé's mum mentioned earlier this evening about a situation in which my fiancé in a previous relationship was with a closeted guy. She didn't know this and when went to visit thought it was a bit odd they had two single beds... so she pushed them together and made them up as a double. The closeted guy's mum turned up a while later and apparently was none too impressed (to be diplomatic about it)

[Rosie]

I outed myself on Facebook, basically by saying "I'm gay and happy, so to hell with any of you who don't accept that because I don't need you!" -- definitely not ideal but it was nice not to have to tell people over and over. I really think it was a momentary breakdown because I couldn't stand hiding my life and happiness from people anymore.

[hndsup]

my coming out to my parents was the normal one. I told them, we all creid, bla bla bla..
ayways. my funny coming out was to a friend of mine. I had started coming out to my friends a couple of days ago and I hadn't told many yet. I was in a club, very drunk. I actually don't remember much, but my friend told me the day after that he said something like "wanda told me she's going on holidays next week" and I answered "she told you I was gay?! mother fucker! that's not of her business!" LOL
it was hilarious. i think all coming out should be like that. haha

[fredv3b]

so she pushed them together and made them up as a double.

Sweet, being concerned about her gay son's bedroom life.