Fantasy

[red728]

Hello Guys

Just something that came to my little head, a question actually. Is there a limit to what fantasies one can enjoy, I mean is there a healthy and maybe a no good kind of fantasy even if it is not harmful as it is hurting no one and is after all only in my head?

[BENDERBOY]

As long as it stays in your head i think you can have any fantasy, oh course if it's not illegal in some way you could always try and fullfil those fantasies.

[fredv3b]

So long as a fantasy remains a fantasy, the only person it can hurt is you.


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[OrphanPip]

In a moral and legal sense I don't think so. From a perspective of personal mental health there certainly can be.

[red728]

As long as it stays in your head i think you can have any fantasy, oh course if it's not illegal in some way you could always try and fullfil those fantasies.

and if it is illegal - can you still have that fantasy? Say can you have a fantasy where you are harming someone else, be it in a sexual or non sexual way, or even harming yourself for that matter, is that okay?

[red728]

So long as a fantasy remains a fantasy, the only person it can hurt is you.


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just quick one, the last bit there about the only person it can hurt is you - so our fantasies can hurt us? which means that they can be bad for us, am I getting this part right or am I reading too much into this part.

[red728]

In a moral and legal sense I don't think so. From a perspective of personal mental health there certainly can be.

and what is that limit do you think?

[princealbertofb]

I think you'll find that fantasies are the subconscious way of sublimating some of our impulses. As such, they are probably a good thing, because they can let you live something difficult or very strange while not actually having to face it in real life. Dreams and nightmares are like that too. They are often things that we rearrange in our heads. They help us to understand or accept some of the conditions, limitations, and circumstances of our lives.
For gay fantasies, for example, it is not uncommon for straight men to have them, but they remain quite harmless on the social level while they remain just fantasies. If you should make those fantasies come true, then you might have difficulties adapting to the new realities of your life (or not), because they might turn you into a criminal, or make you a happier person. That's where the aspect of lawfulness comes into play.

[Pix]

Just for fun...

uTH4TxESMkU

But I do agree with the basic premise of the vid that people should be defined what they DO not by what they fantasize.

[zeon]

hello red,
whatever your fantasy is you can choose to either act or not act on it however if u say wanted to harm yourself then feel free its your body but harming someone else... Even with their permission id not carry it out if i was u

kindest regards

zeon x

[ToddYoung]

I think it was Carl Jung who said that any person is capable of any evil - and any good.

A couple of thousand years ago, people cheered in Rome to see a young boy eaten by a lion. We've repressed these urges in ourselves to the point where most (or almost all) of us today would say that we don't have them. The feelings have been sublimated, and they come out in dreams and fantasies.

Rather than being unhealthy, Jung believed fantasy was healthy, because to become an individuated person, you need to accept your shadow (or darker side) into your life. All he meant by this was that you have to recognise and accept that these things exist in you. He didn't want people to go on a mass killing spree.

The point is that by repressing urges, you're more likely to act on them. Take catholic priests for example. They repress their sexuality and then (some) end up by acting out their sexuality in an unhealthy and damaging way.

I'd say, accept your fantasy as part of yourself as a human being. Accept that you have whatever feelings or desires you're concerned about. By doing that you'll be less likely to act them out in reality.

[gfxtwin]

One problem with my main fantasy is that it involved being played with by massively tall, 50-ft women. There's no way to act out on this. I wonder why I had it in the first place? Hope it's not something Freudian.

[OrphanPip]

I think it's a bit simplistic to say that fantasies are always OK just because they're fantasies. For example, we wouldn't say to someone having suicidal fantasies that they should just indulge in the fantasies as long as they don't act them out, we would take the fantasies as a sign of something seriously wrong.

When it comes to sexual fantasies we get into a grey zone, because there are certainly any number of fantasies that are harmless, especially if they are incidental rather than recurring. But what if a person is having recurring rape fantasies about their neighbour?

Also, I don't think there is evidence that repressing of urges causes people to act badly. Sexual abuse occurs amongst all sets of people in positions of authority that have access to children. There is no good evidence of celibacy causing people to act out in unhealthy ways.

[pellaz]

so long as you ask;
why am i this way??
how does this relate to my real life... etc

[SleepTalker]

i think as long as it stays in your head, theres nothing wrong with a fantasy. Now if you have a fantasy about beating someone to death and then actually do it.....then its obviously wrong.

[fredv3b]

just quick one, the last bit there about the only person it can hurt is you - so our fantasies can hurt us? which means that they can be bad for us, am I getting this part right or am I reading too much into this part.

Absolutely correct. To give one example, fantasising about a relationship with a straight guy on whom one has a crush, repeats the agony of then remembering he is straight and stops one moving on and trying to find a guy with whom a relationship is possible.


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[ToddYoung]

I think it's a bit simplistic to say that fantasies are always OK just because they're fantasies. For example, we wouldn't say to someone having suicidal fantasies that they should just indulge in the fantasies as long as they don't act them out, we would take the fantasies as a sign of something seriously wrong.

When it comes to sexual fantasies we get into a grey zone, because there are certainly any number of fantasies that are harmless, especially if they are incidental rather than recurring. But what if a person is having recurring rape fantasies about their neighbour?

Also, I don't think there is evidence that repressing of urges causes people to act badly. Sexual abuse occurs amongst all sets of people in positions of authority that have access to children. There is no good evidence of celibacy causing people to act out in unhealthy ways.

I certainly agree that if someone is having fantasies related to suicide or hurting themselves or hurting an actual person they know, then that is dangerous territory. It's a situation that could move out of the realm of fantasy.

[Aester]

Fantasies are good and bad. But as anything in this life, you need to balance. If you dream and fantasize to much it can have the effects of some drugs, either you feel that your life is to boring compare to the fantasies so you start become depressed or you will mix up reality with the fantasies and you loose the perception of what is right or wrong / True or False.

[princealbertofb]

I think it's a bit simplistic to say that fantasies are always OK just because they're fantasies. For example, we wouldn't say to someone having suicidal fantasies that they should just indulge in the fantasies as long as they don't act them out, we would take the fantasies as a sign of something seriously wrong.

When it comes to sexual fantasies we get into a grey zone, because there are certainly any number of fantasies that are harmless, especially if they are incidental rather than recurring. But what if a person is having recurring rape fantasies about their neighbour?

Also, I don't think there is evidence that repressing of urges causes people to act badly. Sexual abuse occurs amongst all sets of people in positions of authority that have access to children. There is no good evidence of celibacy causing people to act out in unhealthy ways.

No, indeed, you are right. But in the case of self-imposed celibacy for religious (or other reasons) it may be a harder one to clinch, because of the added pressure to conform to what is expected. Anyone who is just a bachelor can go out and seek sexual release if they are not imposing that restriction on themselves willfully, can't they?

[Uke]

Wrong? I don't know. Doing it may be wrong, and from moral aspect, even fantasizing some things is wrong. Be careful what you're fantasizing of! I mean, for example, if it's related to incest, pedophilia, etc it may severely damage your mental health, the way you think of your relatives or children etc.

The four golden rules (they're obvious when you think about it, but for some reason not everyone seem to comprehend these) :

- Interaction between legal adults
- Between same species
- Between non-relatives
- Everything is done without hurting anyone severely* (according to participants' will, mild violence such as spanking can be performed, but only with permission)

Obey these and you'll be just fine.