I think he is.......but Im not sure and I don't know what to do about it

[Dreamer1]

There's this one guy that I've known for a few years. We don't get along mostly because of him, because before every time he saw me he would always have to insult me and annoy me in almost every way possible.

This changed a few months back when he started to complement me and treating me nice, but still kind of annoying. I always ignore him and snap at him because I've grown accustomed to his abuse so I always have my defenses up when hes around. The thing is I think he likes me but I don't like him AT ALL! He is always touching my hair and complementing me and telling me things like "Why are you so perfect?", "I love you" "I like your hair" "I like your eye color" but He always has that smug on his face that annoys me.

People like to say the things he does as a game or way to annoy me, they complement me and stuff like that but I can always tell that they are playing but with him it kind of seems like he's serious. Once he stopped me from going home and said "You can't go home until you give me a kiss" I ignored it and pushed him out the way.

Then sometimes he slaps my butt and I always glare at him. I've already told him to stop that its not funny and that its getting on my nerve but he still keeps Sexually Harassing me. Other people take it as a game and hes not the only one to sexually harass me, but the others are playing I am sure of that him on the other hand Im not sure. Is he into me? How do I tell him I dont like him AT ALL!? How do I make him stop?

He might be socially awkward and this is his attempt at flirting with you...that's how I see it at least.

You need to be VERY firm with him. Tell him in no uncertain terms, you don't like him, you want him to stop bothering you, and if he doesn't - you will look into harassment charges.

It sounds mean, but sometimes you have to be a jerk yourself to drum your point into someone's skull.

I see a lot of people dismiss gay sexual harassment as well, thinking "oh, they're guys, they MUST love this"

No, not the case. Sorry people aren't taking your problem more seriously. Hopefully he'll get the message sooner rather than later.

[ceez]

do you two have the same group of friends? you might have to talk to him in private and tell him to stop or let your friends know he's not joking. either way you're handling this a lot better than I would, that guy would have a few teeth missing by now

[Dreamer1]

We share some friends and I already have hurt him in the past but he just wont stop I've talked to him and he just harasses me more my friends think he is into me but they take it as a joke

[dfiant]

My first instinct from reading what you have read is that he is baiting you. Your profile says that you are still in the closet so my guess is this guy is trying to befriend you and gain your trust to get THAT 'info' and then use it against you.

A leopard never changes it's spot, but it can change it's ways of hunting to get the result it wants.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Tell him once, and only once:

"I'm not into you, I'm not interested in you. Stop harassing me."

Turn and walk away.

Each time he attempts to pester you, turn and walk away. Don't talk to him, don't engage him in conversation, just walk away.

Each time you do talk to him and engage him, you feed is need for attention. If you stop paying attention to him he will get bored and leave you alone.

[Dreamer1]

We'll, I talked to him and I told him to leave me the fuck alone and to go to hell because I've had just about enough of him and that even if he liked me I would Never and I mean NEVER return the feelings and now he is more violent than when I first met him but, What would I expect. I guess I can live with him being discretely violent towards me. Thank you all for the advice

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Originally Posted by Dreamer1

We'll, I talked to him and I told him to leave me the fuck alone and to go to hell because I've had just about enough of him and that even if he liked me I would Never and I mean NEVER return the feelings and now he is more violent than when I first met him but, What would I expect. I guess I can live with him being discretely violent towards me. Thank you all for the advice

You gave him TMI - Too much information.

I would get angry too if someone said 'Never - I mean NEVER...' at me.

"Leave me the fuck alone" is going to rattle cages and cause a person to fight.

"I'm not into you, I'm not interested in you. Stop harassing me." Is a more diplomatic way of getting the message across.

Of course there is more than just our words, there is our body language, our tone of voice, our facial expressions.

One of my past lovers stalked me for a few months, he cornered me at a bar, dragged me outside and threw me to the ground. He stood over me kicking me screaming 'I love you M-F!'

In all honesty I didn't feel the love... His tone, his other actions told me that this 'love' was really hatred.

When dealing with potentially dangerous people you have to keep a level head, speak calmly and show a neutral facial and body expression and pick words that are not going to inflame the situation.

Its not so much what you say, but how you say a thing that can defuse or ignite a situation. Seems to me you choose to ignite the situation, which is contrary to what I suggested.

I wanted you to demonstrate to him that his interest is falling on deaf ears, thus he would lose interest in 'teasing' you. Your explosion of venom has, I fear, fed that needs of his and will, most likely, lead to his being more persistent.

Next time (oh there will be) when you two are confronting each other, be more diplomatic.

[Dreamer1]

I guess your right I should have worded my thoughts better but I just didn't found any other way to make him understand, after all this is not the first time that I have told him that I wasn't interested. I've talked to him before in the best way I could but he just looked down at me with a smug and said "Are you sure? and if you are I bet I can change that" I just glared at him and walked away. After that his harassment continued which lead to this situation. The smug made me think that he was just being a ass and that it was all just to annoy me but after sometimes he seemed more serious about making me change my mind.

[pellaz]

Originally Posted by Dreamer1

... Is he into me? ...

would that make a difference for you?

[Jason74]

If you don't like him then just avoid him and just go somewhere else when he is around. People like that are annoying and if they don't get the hint when you tell them directly then you have to keep being direct with them and tell them flat out that you don't like them and want nothing to do with them. If they don't get the hint then you should just avoid that at all costs.

[Rainbowmum]

I have to say it sounds like baiting to me also.
Steer clear of him , and make it very clear that you have no interest in him at all.
Some people need a brick to fall on them before they get the hint.

[Dreamer1]

Yes, it would make a difference to me Pellaz. Which one would you be more harsh on? A person that annoys you with complements because he likes you or A person that annoys you with complements because he just wants to piss you off

[DoubleDiamond]

I encourage you to look at what you are getting out of this interaction. Despite all your protests you are managing to become increasingly entangled with this guy. Why might that be?