|5th June 2012||#16|
Join Date: Sep 2011Gay Man in a Monogamous Gay Relationship
in Chicago (USA)
Age: 45 (Starsign: Taurus)
But! It kind of reminded me of some logic I used to use in order to sabotage myself and others. It was my defense mechanism so that there was little chance of anyone making any connection.
It went like this...
Someone would show some interest in me. They might express an appreciation in what I was saying or how I looked or something I had done. In my head, I would automatically think they have the wrong impression of me. I'm really NOT that interesting; nor that good looking; nor that skillful. Therefore I need to nip this in the bud before they find out who I really am.
Is it any wonder I stayed single for so long?
Fundamentally, it was a self esteem issue (just speaking for myself here, Drew. Maybe you can relate to this story, maybe not, but I'm putting it out there for you).
When my self esteem was sub-zero I could never believe that anyone could experience a genuine attraction or appreciation for me. And I was so scared of anyone finding out how screwed up I was I became an expert at sabotage.
I'm just wondering if maybe a little of this same dynamic isn't at work inside your head. You're obviously good looking, intelligent, all around quality guy. Why aren't you letting people get closer to you?
Last edited by LateBloomer; 5th June 2012 at 07:15 am.
|6th June 2012||#17|
Join Date: Jun 2012Gay Male Couple in a Monogamous Gay Relationship
in Manchester (UK - England)
Age: 40 (Starsign: Pisces)
Hi there, keep on doing what you are doing, following your interests, there are a whole host of gay groups that do what you like to do, or various differing ages groups. If you meet a party boy who you click with, would you be happy to spend the weekends standing around in the bars and clubs around town? Or would your party boy be happy to go along to you enjoyed events?
Finding a soul mate isn't easy, but finding him within the structure of what you enjoy will be easier than doing something that you're not too keen on.
|bars, defensive, feeling, gay|
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