Is this really a bad thing?

[jade_ari]

Category: Romance and Relationships
So I went on a date with someone tonight. Well, first off, this just randomly came to me a while ago while I was tryna fall asleep. Anyway, this person was funny and very interesting all the times that we hung out in a group setting. He would text me funny things, and make me laugh, he was just an all-around great guy. So I'm totally comfortable around him, and he says he is around me too. GREAT! I'm thinking, this is terrific! Finally, he asks me out to hang out. I mean we went out for a light dinner type thing, I had a yummy artichoke foccacia and Pelegrino, he had basil and tomato toast and wine. Very nice time. We talked and just chilled. I mean it was perfect! Then as the night progressed I wanted to avoid us ending up at a club. I mean, to me that really isn't a date. So we just kinda walked around downtown Phoenix, (BEAUTIFULbytheway!), looked at places I had never noticed. Took in the view of the city. It really is fascinating. So we do that for an hour or so. Then we go a ways to get dessert at a coffee shop. We chill and relax yet again. Inevitably we go to one,(aclub) you all in the valley might know of which one I speak of, it's "one of those pissant places." Don't get me wrong now, I love that place. I just didn't want to go there with a date. So we go there and we start dancing, and then having a few drinks. It's still going fairly well, I mean we aren't blowing off each other for other people (nopunintended). Then I decide to go out to the patio and just have some fresh air, he follows and we sit there and start talking again. AND HE DOES IT!!! THE ONE THING THAT TOTALLY TURNS ME OFF IN A HEARTBEAT!!! THE ONE THING THAT TOTALLY ASTOUNDS ME ABOUT SOME PEOPLE!!! He goes into detail about his sex-life. I mean stuff like how many random guys he has gone home with, or that he thinks he has. Stuff like all the sexual encounters he's had. How he couldn't tell me how many people he has slept with. I guess I could understand his reason for telling me this, I mean he wasn't being cocky about it or anything. I just don't have to hear this right off the bat. I mean, I find that utterly disgusting. I can proudly say that I have never gone through the "whore phase", as one person put it. Seriously! All that did was make me feel different towards him. My interest went from, "okay, I could see myself dating him" to "Omigod, I shared a smart water with him a while back!" WHY do people feel the need to tell me this right off!?!?!? It should be something that is shared when you are near the point of saying, "okay, lets do this, lets be a couple." I will say I am responsible with my sex-life. As long as one of us is being safe, why share these gross things? Or at least share them immediately. I don't feel like I am doing anything wrong. My friends think I am being to judgemental. It's not that I am judging them, it's just that for me personally, I find that unappealing and unattractive. Not to mention tacky. I say save it for later, I don't need to know that right away. That is just a thought on something I had. It's a shame too........he really liked animals.

Guys are guys whether they are straight or not. It quite natural for some guys to feel free to talk about their "conquests".
Since he was on a date it was rather a cheeky thing to do, however keep in mind some underlying facts:
First he had been drinking, became uninhibited, and opened his mouth.
Maybe he was really turned on by you and was bringing sex into the conversation as a way to tell you he wanted to be with you. ( take that as flattering and not an insult )
He could have kept his trap shut, romanced you to the point where you wanted to have sex with him, and you would have shared more than some water.
Finally no matter how safe you are there is always a chance to contract something. If this guy was that reckless, then you are better off that he said something right off the bat before you developed feelings and perhaps gambled with your health and well being.
Guys like him are rarely satisfied in a monogamous relationship. Imagine if he would have kept his past a secret, love developed between you two, and despite his best efforts he continued to to sleep around.
I think by bragging about his prowess he probably saved you from a lot of pain and heartache.

Interesting. I didn't read it as though he were bragging about it. I thought he might have been trying to clear the air from the outset so there were no misunderstandings if things got deeper.

I take Curt's point about the drink lubricating the tongue though.

Originally Posted by marshlander

Interesting. I didn't read it as though he were bragging about it. I thought he might have been trying to clear the air from the outset so there were no misunderstandings if things got deeper.

I take Curt's point about the drink lubricating the tongue though.

You are right marsh. I should have put bragging about his prowess in quotes. Which is how I meant for it to be expressed on my part.

[kitschcamp]

Originally Posted by marshlander

Interesting. I didn't read it as though he were bragging about it. I thought he might have been trying to clear the air from the outset so there were no misunderstandings if things got deeper.

I'd say the same. When I was young(ish), free and single, I appreciated people being honest about their background, and I did the same. It's only with all that sort of information that you can make an informed decision about how to take things further, what you will do, what you won't do, and what they may not feel so comfortable about either.

I think honesty is a good thing in areas such as this.

[jade_ari]

hmm...That is true. I guess I should have thanked him. Either way, we are still talking. I think that I may actually give him a second try. But we will see. Thanks guys.

[Marky]

Good luck with the second try

[jade_ari]

Okay fellas, Damien and I, oh his name is Damien, anyway, we are going out again this Friday. It's going to be a double date. I am kinda excited. Stay tuned.....

Hmmm, buena suerte really isn't QUITE an appropriate expression, but i'll use it in want of bothering to remember what it is i want to say...

[jade_ari]

Originally Posted by sox-and-the-city

buena suerte...

hmm, it works for me Sox, muchas gracias!

[jade_ari]

UPDATE ON MY FOLLOW UP DATE

So my follow up date went as well as can be expected. This time we had to go to the club becuase my friends promotion company was holding an event. The event was very fun! We actually didn't spend to much time together because he was talking with his friends and dancing with them, and I was doing the same. Towards midnight he told me was just going to split with a friend of his, I don't need to say what that meant. So I just hung with my friends and we enjoyed the rest of the night. I got to meet some of the go-go boys from L.A. and Las Vegas, WHO WERE HOT! I also danced with the D.J., who I thought looked just like Tito El Bambino, who I absolutely love! When the event was over and the club closed, my friends and I headed to a 24 hour burger joint that everyone goes to. As we were sitting there, Damien (mydate), shows up and sits with us and starts to put the moves on me in front of the D.J. I basically told him that I was no longer interested and that I was going to give the guys a ride back to their hotel. He seemed pretty upset and asked why did I invite him out in the first place. I felt like he was a total joke and had no reason to be upset with me, and that he was the one who left in the first place. He just looked at me wierd and did the "whatever" look and left. So, I don't think that I will be seeing much of him again. Which I am fine with. That is the update. OH! The D.J.'s name is Donovan. He is moving to Phoenix in a few months for college. He knows how to get a hold of me, and I know how to get a hold of him as well...

Originally Posted by jade_ari

UPDATE ON MY FOLLOW UP DATE

So my follow up date went as well as can be expected. This time we had to go to the club becuase my friends promotion company was holding an event. The event was very fun! We actually didn't spend to much time together because he was talking with his friends and dancing with them, and I was doing the same. Towards midnight he told me was just going to split with a friend of his, I don't need to say what that meant. So I just hung with my friends and we enjoyed the rest of the night. I got to meet some of the go-go boys from L.A. and Las Vegas, WHO WERE HOT! I also danced with the D.J., who I thought looked just like Tito El Bambino, who I absolutely love! When the event was over and the club closed, my friends and I headed to a 24 hour burger joint that everyone goes to. As we were sitting there, Damien (mydate), shows up and sits with us and starts to put the moves on me in front of the D.J. I basically told him that I was no longer interested and that I was going to give the guys a ride back to their hotel. He seemed pretty upset and asked why did I invite him out in the first place. I felt like he was a total joke and had no reason to be upset with me, and that he was the one who left in the first place. He just looked at me wierd and did the "whatever" look and left. So, I don't think that I will be seeing much of him again. Which I am fine with. That is the update. OH! The D.J.'s name is Donovan. He is moving to Phoenix in a few months for college. He knows how to get a hold of me, and I know how to get a hold of him as well...

Get a hold of him Ari, (Donovan) don't leave him waiting for you to make the first move. make that move

[jade_ari]

Originally Posted by CurtCB

Get a hold of him Ari, (Donovan) don't leave him waiting for you to make the first move. make that move

We actually were texting all day and evening yesterday. Then we had a good long phone conversation. I was late for work cuz' I overslept. He is coming to take a tour of ASU in 2 weeks. SO EXCITED!!!!

Good for you and good luck. Oh don't take my horrible love life as an example of luck >