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Old 6th December 2009   #1
sox-and-the-city
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Yeah, as yet these three are untitiled. They were written together, within the space of twenty minutes, and follow on from one another. I'm not even sure if i want them as standalones or as a set. Any suggestions welcome

***
Confusion is the ultimate torture.
When the body and heart cease to feel,
the mind grinds away the real.

Sinking feelings rise slowly up
like drinking form a shattered cup,
tears welling ceaselessly stop
nightmaring senses waking up.

Swilling doubts rinsing sense,
the friendless fear that is suspense
creates imagine notions, forms
uneasy, in speechless swarms.

***

Ideas borne of hope and dread
a love that walks in to the head
to torment, complicate, confuse
faith with hateful, selfish views.

Friendship aids less and less,
understanding clad in loneliness,
doubt flouts its naked chest
against feigned disinterest.

***

All our hearts tied up with strings,
problems seduction sometimes brings.

Our disastrous affair wasn't a waste,
as i learned you can't account for taste.
 
Old 6th December 2009   #2
fjp999
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hmmmm, I think I really like them a lot. Usually not into the rhyming thing so am surprised to find that I am really liking these sox.

I think that they flow well as a group but also could stand alone.


 
Old 6th December 2009   #3
Rychard the Lionheart
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I agree with Fjp999, they can be a group or as standalones.

Good work.
 
Old 15th December 2009   #4
true-illuminati
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Your stuff is good! I wish... All the best!
 
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