Telling family about older boyfriend - help - Page 3 - GaySpeak Gay Forums | Online Friends Community

mooninleo · 26th September 2010

Hey there.

I was in a relationship with an older man and i never told my family. i was 24 he was 43.. and.. the way it worked was that i sorta cut my family out of it, and i kinda lost them as a support structure. my relationship turned aweful and abusive and my family was no longer relevent cuz i excluded them.

Courageous or not.. i feel like if your relationship with this man becomes serious, then i really think its good to come out with it. And ESP if you have this guy that you love, then you need to own that and empower yourself and your guy, and share that love with everyone in your life.

I've dealt with a split life situation like that before, and, its not worth it. Cuz when my relationship ended, i had to re pickup my last reality, wipe the dust off, and try to figure out who i was.. again.. its been like almost 2 years. hit me up if u wanna chat more. - Austin

Soulblade · 21st November 2010

Let them get used to the fact you are gay first. It is important that they understand and are comfortable with your sexuality before dropping the whole bomb on them.

As for the other issue, I'm 16, my boyfriend is 28, so it's the same amount of years between us and our partners. My mother was alive when I told my family about him, and my mother was the first to react by hugging me and asking me how it had happened. She sounded really worried that this man could have taken advantage of me in any way, but when I explained, she understoood. Sure it took a little while for her to adjust but it was all good after that.

The point is, don't be surprised if your parents react that way, since it is very probable that they are just worried about your well being, but explain to them why you are with him, and it's is possible that they will understand =)

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26th September 2010	#31
mooninleo Veteran Join Date: Sep 2010 Single Gay Man in San Francisco (USA) Age: 30 (Starsign: Aries) Posts: 65 My Mood:	Hey there. I was in a relationship with an older man and i never told my family. i was 24 he was 43.. and.. the way it worked was that i sorta cut my family out of it, and i kinda lost them as a support structure. my relationship turned aweful and abusive and my family was no longer relevent cuz i excluded them. Courageous or not.. i feel like if your relationship with this man becomes serious, then i really think its good to come out with it. And ESP if you have this guy that you love, then you need to own that and empower yourself and your guy, and share that love with everyone in your life. I've dealt with a split life situation like that before, and, its not worth it. Cuz when my relationship ended, i had to re pickup my last reality, wipe the dust off, and try to figure out who i was.. again.. its been like almost 2 years. hit me up if u wanna chat more. - Austin

21st November 2010	#32
Soulblade Veteran Join Date: Nov 2010 Gay Man in a Monogamous Gay Relationship in Monterrey (Mexico) Age: 19 (Starsign: Sagittarius) Posts: 23 My Mood:	Let them get used to the fact you are gay first. It is important that they understand and are comfortable with your sexuality before dropping the whole bomb on them. As for the other issue, I'm 16, my boyfriend is 28, so it's the same amount of years between us and our partners. My mother was alive when I told my family about him, and my mother was the first to react by hugging me and asking me how it had happened. She sounded really worried that this man could have taken advantage of me in any way, but when I explained, she understoood. Sure it took a little while for her to adjust but it was all good after that. The point is, don't be surprised if your parents react that way, since it is very probable that they are just worried about your well being, but explain to them why you are with him, and it's is possible that they will understand =)