So Lost, So Confused...

Firstly I'm in the closet and have been crushing on this guy for a while, We only see each other about 2-5 times a year but when we do its typically very friendly, let me explain.

We met through a friend last year on her boat. Hes only 2 years younger, we are both quite quiet and only talk every so and so. So last year we went met and we hung out once after that when we all saw a movie. (the three of us, him, our mutual friend, and I) Then we both went to our separate schools and talked on the phone briefly for a couple of times. Fast Forward to this year, over spring break he came over cause we were having a get together, he drank a decent amount and was all over me (i was semi sober) hanging on me, touching my legs, wrapping his arm around me when standing, etc. My sister even mentioned about how "in love you two look". He left later that night and nothing happened.

Don't see each other for another 4 months or so till we again are on my friends boat. Our mutual friend left town for a semester after this time out on the boat. We came up with the idea of road tripping and visiting her, and we did. A ten hour road trip, and three days with him constantly made me crazy happy. We went swimming on a very poor day together in the ocean and he insisted on taking photos of us all wet. He puts his arm around my neck (he is taller) and I wrap my arm around his side. It was an awesome weekend but still never answered anything. On the way home (10 hours) we get caught in traffic he suggests we take our shirts off and go tan atop the car, I laughed but he was serious. He would playfully elbow me randomly through the trip home, we stopped at a rest stop and I got a starbucks as he went to the bathroom. I let him try my starbucks and he loved it so we split it out of the same mug, which is something ive never done with anyone. We always hug goodbyes, and always hold doors for each other.

I did ask him about girls while out on a beach walk and he said he talked to a girl for about a month and added how fast he looses interest. As far as I know he never had a girlfriend and am 99% sure hes still a virgin, also he cares deeply how he looks, not only in fashion but in general looks. He is a totally stud and really could get any girl he wants.


Any help would be great!

[juk]

Not being difficult, but what is it you are asking? I suspect you want to know if we think he could be gay and interested in you, so I will run with that...

From what you describe, there does seem a chance he could be. Of course there is also a chance he is not, and is just a very tactile guy.

If he were gay, do you think that there would be any chance for a relationship given the infrequent contact you guys have, or do you think there would be more contact?

I think the distance and infrequent contact could be an advantage here. You could contact him by whatever means and confide in him that you are gay. From what you say I really dont think that he would have a bad reaction etc because even if straight he seems comfortable. Sharing that with him may prompt him to tell you either way.

You could, on the other hand, play it cautious and hint around things with him and hope to pick up clues, but in all honesty when you are looking for subtle signs its not fun.

So my opinion (and mine alone) is talk to him, ask him if you can share something with him in strict confidence - then tell him and see what happens.

Huge amounts of luck to you my friend

[SlipknotRlZZ]

First of all, I don't think there is something you have to be lost or confused about. I think you are in a very nice and promising situation. Maybe you should just tell the guy you feel good when you're with him and you like him. I think he's probably waiting on you to do something to show him how you feel about him. Call him, ask him out. Anything. I think everything's going to work out okay. :]

[fenris]

For me - to say anything - there are not enough informations.

If you met 2 - 5 times a year.... why only so rare ? Did you see any signs that he wish a better, closer contact ? Did you both have any contact by the phone or mail ? How is the distance between you both ? Have you heard something about him by friends of both ?
Have you tried to get a better contact to him ?
And ... what do you wish ? A friendship or only better know him or more ?

Originally Posted by SlipknotRlZZ

First of all, I don't think there is something you have to be lost or confused about. I think you are in a very nice and promising situation. Maybe you should just tell the guy you feel good when you're with him and you like him. I think he's probably waiting on you to do something to show him how you feel about him. Call him, ask him out. Anything. I think everything's going to work out okay. :]

Thanks for the advice, after spending 3 days or so and two 10 hour car rides with him at my side i miss him and this day has been horrible without him.

Originally Posted by juk

Not being difficult, but what is it you are asking? I suspect you want to know if we think he could be gay and interested in you, so I will run with that...

From what you describe, there does seem a chance he could be. Of course there is also a chance he is not, and is just a very tactile guy.

If he were gay, do you think that there would be any chance for a relationship given the infrequent contact you guys have, or do you think there would be more contact?

I think the distance and infrequent contact could be an advantage here. You could contact him by whatever means and confide in him that you are gay. From what you say I really dont think that he would have a bad reaction etc because even if straight he seems comfortable. Sharing that with him may prompt him to tell you either way.

You could, on the other hand, play it cautious and hint around things with him and hope to pick up clues, but in all honesty when you are looking for subtle signs its not fun.

So my opinion (and mine alone) is talk to him, ask him if you can share something with him in strict confidence - then tell him and see what happens.

Huge amounts of luck to you my friend

I was wondering if he could be gay? The reasons we don't see each other is because we are both quite busy, with school, work etc. When we do hang its near the end of summer when we both have some free time. (hence the roadtrip)


I hopefully will see him once more before we both leave to different schools (though only about an hour apart) and will let him know how i feel....

its pretty sketchy being open with anyone, but im really pullin for this guy.

(if it helps to also add)
He watches all those chick flick movies alone at home like "dear john" "17 again" etc.
Also has a bad relationship with his father, and is a mama's boy (as am I)
We love the same music too, not like same genres but like individual songs

Originally Posted by fenris

For me - to say anything - there are not enough informations.

If you met 2 - 5 times a year.... why only so rare ? Did you see any signs that he wish a better, closer contact ? Did you both have any contact by the phone or mail ? How is the distance between you both ? Have you heard something about him by friends of both ?
Have you tried to get a better contact to him ?
And ... what do you wish ? A friendship or only better know him or more ?

We only see each other due to busy schedules. In terms of distance, during the summer he is about a 5 minute drive, during school about an hour or so we go to different schools.

Have you heard something about him by friends of both ?

Yes, by many people, and sometimes by people we are both currently around. We were on a boat about a week ago and another guy on board was scrubbing himself down just before jumping into the water and said "Hey (name) betcha you like this you fucking faggot". Harsh i know, I didn't say anything as I am still in the closet. But i found it weird he (the guy i like) didn't say anything either. nothing, not a peep!

I could call him, he always answers but I don't want to burden him with my annoying contacts. He's a pretty popular kid and is normally quite busy.


Thanks for the advice

[juk]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

I could call him, he always answers but I don't want to burden him with my annoying contacts. He's a pretty popular kid and is normally quite busy.

Take the bull by the horns, if you dont contact him you will never know. Dont assume your contacting him will be a burden - he could even be sitting there right now hoping you will call. Be brave, be bold otherwise you will never know!

[fenris]

Originally Posted by Anonymous

We only see each other due to busy schedules. In terms of distance, during the summer he is about a 5 minute drive, during school about an hour or so we go to different schools.


Yes, by many people, and sometimes by people we are both currently around. We were on a boat about a week ago and another guy on board was scrubbing himself down just before jumping into the water and said "Hey (name) betcha you like this you fucking faggot". Harsh i know, I didn't say anything as I am still in the closet. But i found it weird he (the guy i like) didn't say anything either. nothing, not a peep!

I could call him, he always answers but I don't want to burden him with my annoying contacts. He's a pretty popular kid and is normally quite busy.


Thanks for the advice

hm... If you do not live so far away from each other, then I would try to build a normal friendship, and then you see what happens. Whether he is interested or not ... and if something happened between you both Ok ... otherwise you will have gained a friend. You only should you make any false hopes, and you should wait, I think, it takes time. That would be my opinion.

thanks for the help you guys, i'll keep ya posted on anything that should happen, or just random things that i remember about.



LIKE
When we were on the beach getting our photo taken our mutual friend said something like "it looks like you two are in love" and he replied "we are in love"

I took it as a joke and let out a grin with a snicker.

Or how when we were at a store he was off shopping and me and our mutual friend were talking and they said something about how he was "unique" after I mention how odd it was seeing a guy so into shopping.

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Don't miss the opportunity! Good luck. :}

My advice: Go for it. I know this is way cliche but " You'll never know until you try." And have fun with it! :-) Best of luck and I hope to read good things in the future!



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Originally Posted by Anonymous

Firstly I'm in the closet and have been crushing on this guy for a while, We only see each other about 2-5 times a year but when we do its typically very friendly, let me explain.

We met through a friend last year on her boat. Hes only 2 years younger, we are both quite quiet and only talk every so and so. So last year we went met and we hung out once after that when we all saw a movie. (the three of us, him, our mutual friend, and I) Then we both went to our separate schools and talked on the phone briefly for a couple of times. Fast Forward to this year, over spring break he came over cause we were having a get together, he drank a decent amount and was all over me (i was semi sober) hanging on me, touching my legs, wrapping his arm around me when standing, etc. My sister even mentioned about how "in love you two look". He left later that night and nothing happened.

Don't see each other for another 4 months or so till we again are on my friends boat. Our mutual friend left town for a semester after this time out on the boat. We came up with the idea of road tripping and visiting her, and we did. A ten hour road trip, and three days with him constantly made me crazy happy. We went swimming on a very poor day together in the ocean and he insisted on taking photos of us all wet. He puts his arm around my neck (he is taller) and I wrap my arm around his side. It was an awesome weekend but still never answered anything. On the way home (10 hours) we get caught in traffic he suggests we take our shirts off and go tan atop the car, I laughed but he was serious. He would playfully elbow me randomly through the trip home, we stopped at a rest stop and I got a starbucks as he went to the bathroom. I let him try my starbucks and he loved it so we split it out of the same mug, which is something ive never done with anyone. We always hug goodbyes, and always hold doors for each other.

I did ask him about girls while out on a beach walk and he said he talked to a girl for about a month and added how fast he looses interest. As far as I know he never had a girlfriend and am 99% sure hes still a virgin, also he cares deeply how he looks, not only in fashion but in general looks. He is a totally stud and really could get any girl he wants.


Any help would be great!

I got all excited and stuff reading this...

Good luck dude...

I got all excited and stuff reading this...

Good luck dude...

Haha. Me too!



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hi all, its been a while since ive seen him but opt-ed to pursue the route of trying to become his friend a little more yet had little luck. I feel as though i may be misinterpreting the signals. I asked him to attend a hockey game with me and some other friends but totally fail to acknowledge i had even asked. He has become very quite and we dont really talk at all anymore.

I am sad.