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Old 21st December 2010   #1
Anonymous
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Default First Relationship

So I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 and half months now. This is my first relationship and I feel like have no idea what I'm doing. I think have a healthy relationship so far and we're both very serious about it, but I still worry because I have nothing to compare it to. My boyfriend is supposedly "straight" and so absolutely no one knows that we're together. I don't really mind keeping the secret though. I'm a very private person and so it works out very well for me. I also get a thrill out of having a secret relationship. But I still feel like I'm under a lot of pressure to keep him with me. I'm the only guy he's attracted to and has ever been attracted to and I fear that one day he'll wake up and realize that he doesn't want me. Or that he'll just get to frustrated with having a relationship that he can't tell anyone about. Do I have a reason to worry or am I just being an old maid?
 
Old 21st December 2010   #2
bluefox4000
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Your fears are totally understandable. My wife was the serious relationship I was in. I had The same fears. I just talked it over with my wife. In doing that we came to a deeper understanding of each other. If you 2 are serious, I'm sure you can work the fears out......Cause they are normal Good Luck.

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Old 21st December 2010   #3
Nocturnal
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Reminds me of the Chrolli story line in Verbotene Liebe.

Talk it out with your partner. Let him understand your fears.
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Weil wenn ich ohne dich
Ich würde sterben
Denn wenn ich bei dir bin
Ich lebe



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not, I'm not myself
Feel like someone else
Rotted and faceless,
So hollow, hollow inside
A part of me is dead
Need you to live again
Can you replace this?
I'm hollow, hollow and faceless.."
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Old 21st December 2010   #4
Mr. Not So Lonely
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I must agree with Nocturnal

honesty is always the best way talk to him and see how he feels, then go from there.
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Old 21st December 2010   #5
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Cool my first love

TO be honest my first love is rocky i been with him on and off for 5 1/2 years and it has been the crazy ride of my life even though im the top but anyways i love him even though the relation hasnt been a healthy one but what ever i meet him on a phone chat line talked for about 2 months before actually meeting me he was so excited when he saw he i said " damn u fine ese" i was like "orale" and i waited for him to get out of work and when spent the whole night to gether it was perfect i remeber it so vividly.... but our realtion consist of two hard headed guys, cheating,lying,schemeing, drama drama drama and friends always got in the way and his friend i hate him so bad he is causing lots of uncessary problems ....i just rambeling the point is i love him and evne though i date other guys i will always think about him and i still talk to him but i cant meet up with him cause im just gonna fall head over hills in love with im he so cute he look like SPM hehehe.
 
Old 22nd December 2010   #6
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It's natural for you to think of it. But If i were you i would not worry about anything like this. Life is short, instead of asking so many question, just take it course. keeping secrect or anything else means nothing if you love each other. Love is a story of 2 people, not of community.
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Old 22nd December 2010   #7
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Hey anon,

I'm sort of in the same situation now. My "boyfriend" now is a married straight guy, and while we are somewhat serious, the whole thing has to be kept on the dl. I can't say that I'm a really big fan of it, cuz I'm not. But I'm enjoying myself for now, and when it's over I'll just go on to find a new guy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is enjoy what you've got while you've got it. Your life won't be over when the relationship ends, and there are plenty of other guys out there.
 
Old 22nd December 2010   #8
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thanks guys. this really helps a lot. we have talked about this before and he worries too. we were really good friends before and he's worried he'll lose me forever if things don't end well. he doesn't have many close friends. but you're right. breaking up isn't the end of the world. i'll be sure to tell him that. and i'm pretty confident we'll end on good terms. we both tend to avoid drama...unless its on tv. thanks again guys!
 
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