Straight Couples hanging out in Gay Bars

Straight couples going to gay bars. It's been a trend for several years now and is getting more popular. And for quite a while we (gay men and women) thought it was cute. But lately I've been in my favorite gay clubs and straight people are the majority... by far. I've also noticed a growing resentment among the regular gay crowd because we feel intimidated in what used to be our safe havens from the straight world. But now even though it's a gay bar if you make a pass at a straight man a fight breaks out, I've seen it happen. The bartenders I've spoken to about it say they're sick of it. The bar owners are worried about potential legal liabilities if someone gets injured.

Any thoughts on this?

I am trying to think if I ever had a straight couple in front of me as a bartender...I am sure I have but I cant think of any. I used to have a group of sometimes up to 25 stewardesses, stewards and pilots who were mostly straight hang out at my end of the bar a few nights a week but no problems.

I havent bartended in a gay club since 1998 though so maybe this is a new trend?

East,

I would say it's become popular, at least in St. Louis, in the last 4 or 5 years. Before that it was taboo for a straight man to be caught in gay bars. But now they're the hip places to be. And the trend is growing.

I don't know what the cause is. Perhaps a new sexual revolution is taking place?

Anyone care to throw our your opinion on this new phenomena?

It's so weird, I was at a gay club here about a week ago with my two girls roommates, one gay and one straight. This guy passes by a few times, obviously glancing over in our direction, and my roommate comments about how he's staring at me. I jokingly say he's looking at her, but subconsciously I think he's staring at me too. After a few passes, he finally turns and comes over, and sure enough, starts hitting on her. It seems like just a few months ago I went there and it was almost all gay people, and now it seems like it's divided almost right down the middle.

[Genersis]

How. Peculiar.

I've had no experience with gay bars, but with what has been said this is how i view the situation:
As discrimination becomes less prevalent, more straight people are ok with being in a gay bar.
And now there are so many straight people in gay bars, it is ironically making it harder for gay men and women to feel safe and safely able to find other gay guys/girls as straight people still take offence to being hit on.

But its not like gay bars can turn straight people away, as that in itself is discrimination.
So... i guess this means gay bars have to rely either on straight peoples prejudices(and thusly not GOING to gay bars) OR straight people not taking offence to being hit on to function.

What's the point in straight people going to gay bars if they are still going to take offence if they are hit on by the same sex?

Now that I think about it a little more there was this one thing I noticed sometimes...the girl would bring the BF or Husband in for an innocent night on the town (or so he thought) but in actuality he would be on trial so she could see if he was bi or gay. I used to get really uncomfortable when that happened and I tried to get them to sit at the other side of the bar with one of the other bartenders (a well placed loud burp or fart usually does the trick)

East,

The situation you describe I would imagine to be the most volatile. A guy on a date with a girl would have to defend his manliness by causing a scene if a gay man makes a pass at him. Especially if he is uptight about his sexuality in the first place.

And to my mind, the girl who brought him into the situation is responsible. She doesn't care that her date abuses a gay man in a gay bar because she's only concerned with finding out if her date-guy might be gay. Stupid of her. And at our expense.

The situation is example of straights abusing gays for their amusement.

Originally Posted by denx57

East,

The situation you describe I would imagine to be the most volatile. A guy on a date with a girl would have to defend his manliness by causing a scene if a gay man makes a pass at him. Especially if he is uptight about his sexuality in the first place.

And to my mind, the girl who brought him into the situation is responsible. She doesn't care that her date abuses a gay man in a gay bar because she's only concerned with finding out if her date-guy might be gay. Stupid of her. And at our expense.

The situation is example of straights abusing gays for their amusement.

Yes...agreed. I used to think to myself when these idiots would say sh*t to me...always "You don't seem gay" and freaking expect me to thank them as if it were a compliment. I swear they would ACTUALLY sit there with a look of satisfaction truly expecting that I would thank them! They pretty much all did it.

The whole time they were "complimenting" me all I could think about was this is how the slaves must have felt when they pitted the field slaves against the house slaves or the dark skins vs the light skins. Did they think I was stupid? grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[OrphanPip]

Montreal's larger gay dance clubs are popular with mixed straight/gay crowds, mostly straight girls. The drag shows are kind of popular with mixed crowds too.

I don't exactly see the leather bar becoming popular with young straight hipsters though.

Edit: Also, the city has been systematically trying to shut down Montreal's red light district, the last stalwart is the transvestite and transsexual stripper bar, which is apparently popular with the "straight" crowd...

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Hi there,
I know in the united kingdom if you deny someone right into a club or bar based on their sexualituy/gender/etc then they have a legal leg to sue the occupiers on discrimination.. Like for example when the hotel in cornwall refused a gay couple they sued and won and to be honest it might be the same best thing the club can do is hire bouncers and join upto pubwatch with red and yellow cards

Kindest regards

zeon

Zeon,

I agree that there is not much the bar owner can do to keep them out. However, here in Missouri, a bartender can refuse to serve a customer for any reason. For example; not having a photo ID. Or the bartender can simply say they believed the patron to be too intoxicated even if they are not. It's left to the judgment of the bartender.

However, I don't think you could stop someone at the door and say you can't come in because of their sexual orientation.

[fredv3b]

In reply to the OP, I find Hen Parties the most annoying.

Originally Posted by denx57

However, here in Missouri, a bartender can refuse to serve a customer for any reason.

Any reason? Even because the customer was black?

OK..gotta ask...what is a Hen Party?

We do have the right to refuse service to anyone in California but I am not sure about the details...we also have anti discrimination policies so if you stated it was on the basis of race it would be illegal. I think it is based on behavior or not conforming to the rules of the establishment and it is illegal to discriminate based on race so that would not be valid.

l wouldnt worry too much at the end of the day if the community knows what it is then the gay community within the community itself should be able to stand together and unite.. Alternatively the bar owner should display a notice like some of ours which states This venue is for a specific clientel and all those who wish to enter past this notice respect the nature of what may or may not happen.. If anything offends any patrons entering the premieses the management wish for a peaceful exit... Furthermore this club (name) and the managing staff reserve the right to refuse sale of alcohol to any patron who appears to be or under the influence of alcohol... Many thanks for your understanding in this matter... (bar name) management

Kindest regardfs
zeojn

Originally Posted by East

OK..gotta ask...what is a Hen Party?

We do have the right to refuse service to anyone in California but I am not sure about the details...we also have anti discrimination policies so if you stated it was on the basis of race it would be illegal. I think it is based on behavior or not conforming to the rules of the establishment and it is illegal to discriminate based on race so that would not be valid.

A hen party is when you get a group of 3 or more women going out onto town to get trollied with the bride to be.. The groom to be goes out to a different part of town and gets trollied and is known as a stag night... Usually hen nights are full of fat over rated women who make a complete tit of themselves or harrass me at work by telling me late at night they want to piss on my face.... Stupid bitches lol