Can't finish....And I dont know why

Originally Posted by dan21

Thanks again everyone, I'd to say the situation has gotten better but it hasn't I've fooled around three times now and the results have been the same Its really getting to me now. I'm starting to think im gonna screw up this relationship and I don't want to do that.

You might have to consider that you don't really get off on blowjobs....maybe bring it up to him. I have had to tell alot of guys over the years that blowjobs do nothing for me and I don't remember anyone really caring very much ...I dont' give blowjobs either ....yuck....so there are a couple of things that are off the table for me and I can tell you I have had a great sex life and alot of nice boyfriends and lovers so there is alot of hope!

[BobInTampa]

I know this may sound weird, but i read an article posted by the university of indiana regarding this very subject. And belive it or not, the researchers found out that it was actually a MENTAL issue. The majority of the men who coudn't have an orgasam during oral sex were subconsciously "blocked" from orgasm because they were conditioned to equate cumming in their partner's mouth or face as a form of degradation!

When i was growing up and first started dating girls (i lost my viriginity at 16) every girl i messed with always made it clear..."DON'T CUM IN MY MOUTH, THAT'S GROSS!" You hear that over and over again and it starts conditioning that makes it mentally impossible to orgasm that way.

The other issue with men that was raised in the article was that many of the men who WERE able to orgasm during oral sex felt GUILTY for cumming - and in most cases, when a man cums his libidio drops to ZERO - and so intimiacy ends.

The bottom line is - communication. Once you've established that your partner WANTS to suck you off and it's NOT degrading him in any way and that its a turn on - you have to learn to really relax and let go of the mental block!

For me, that breakthru came when a guy i was dating put a blindfold on me, and told me to relax while he gave me a massage. As he started to blow me, he could tell after 10 minutes i was not even close, he again told me to relax - that this was bringing HIM pleasure - he slowly slid a finger in my anus and began giving me a prostate massage. Well, guys. I'm telling you...there's NO mental conditioning that can withstand getting a hot blowjob and a prostate massage at the same time. I damn near came out of my skin when i orgasmed! After that, i was able to truely enjoy oral sex!

Just a few things to chew on! HOpe this helps!

[Kyle]

I very much believe in truth of the post above. Mental condition matter very much.

Speaking from personal experience I keep it hard and enjoy sex if I see my partner is turned on and enjoying with me. Once I met a guy and he said he wasn't bottom but he agreed to bottom for me. He was like a stone or a log, just laid down and said he was ready for sex but I couldn't get hard even though he was hot, because I could see he was not going to enjoy it.

It really matters how your partner acts. I have read somewhere, that if a man failed at sex once a wife shouldn't complain because this will lead to next fail, instead if a wife (article was about straight couples but it doesn't matter) say that it's ok and next time will be better, husband will really forget about that little fail and next time will be as good as usually.