Listing preferred role in bed.

[pellaz]

Originally Posted by LateBloomer

That's about all I expect from anyone....much rather THAT, than to be ignored.

its going to take a little bit

[Gaydude3]

Originally Posted by azulai

Ok, I don't have any experience with dating sites so my point of view may be a bit naïve.

I think you should go with what YOU would want to know. If this is important to you, then you should express yourself. Is it important to you when looking at the profiles of other guys that they have this information listed about themselves? Would you find it offensive or would you quickly eliminate them if they put that they were versatile in their profile? If they put exclusive top or bottom? How would you read it?

Do you think hiding how important versatility is to you starts you off repressed and trying to fit yourself to what you THINK the other person will accept, not your true self?

Why shouldn't this be a tool to weed out candidates? You have to weigh how much sexual compatibility means to you.

What if you spend a bunch of time exchanging emails, you get all excited to meet this other person and then over coffee he tells you he is only interested in non-penetrative sex? Would that be any different?

I'm more of the attitude that this is me, take it or leave it. I think that's healthier from the start. If someone is uptight talking about sex or offended that you want fair play, is that what you want? Only you can determine how much you are willing to compromise. And, would you be willing to compromise? Should you be the only one to compromise?

Anyway, just my opinion. I personally would not find that offensive or think you are looking only for a sex. I'm guessing that you wrote a bit about who you are and what you are looking for in terms of a LTR. That should tell the other person more about your heart, I would think.

I see your statement as not setting yourself or this other person up for failure or not leading someone on.

Is it you want the most hits to your profile and then you weed out based on personality or start selective from the beginning?

YOU need to like someone, YOU need to be choosy, YOU have to have NEEDS met. Don't sell yourself short and make it all about the other person. Sure, it limits the pool both for you and others but do you really want your next thread to be, “he's a really great guy, BUT he won't…?”

I really wish the best for you and hope you find someone who loves you for who you are and treats you with respect and kindness.

I have gone on a date with a guy who was against anal and just cuddled. I knew that wouldn't work.



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[mrk2010]

Personally I think being versatile is the best of both worlds you can share roles and things won't get boring :-)

I'd like to have someone more experienced take center stage and guide me through the dance with gentle hands and his heart in it. A loving dominance compareble to a warm embrace.