Paranoid

[MN1]

..........

[Dan1980]

Hi MN1 welcome to the forum. Joing this forum will make you feel better.

[spencer]

I've done...similar things and had the same feeling, but nothing ever bad come back to me about it.

[ivorybenz]

welcome to the forum. hope you feel better.

[pellaz]

Welcome to gay speak
You know in the skeem of things what happened to you is not important. Last. Night I was looking at a fitness forum ans surprised they had a whole section for members to hook up on Skype. More good than bad to want to freel wanted.

Count your blessings sir.

[princealbertofb]

Hello MN1 and to GaySpeak.... I can't really imagine how it feels to have done what you did but I think we've all been somewhere where we've later wished it hadn't happened, where we've later felt ashamed of ourselves. We generally get over it if we are able to forgive ourselves. You were perfectly justified in wanting to be desired, and if that Skype episode fulfilled a desire in you for a while, it certainly doesn't seem to be the right remedy. Maybe with the forgiveness you need to give yourself for making a mistake, you could go searching a little deeper for what it was you were seeking.
You say you have a nice family, I therefore suppose they know about you and understand you. Do they understand that you are lonely? Would any member of your family possibly be a good person to talk to about this loneliness? Your mum? A brother? A sister? You don't have to tell them about the Skype episode.

I think if you kept your face hidden, you probably won't have too many problems. Most people who do this are not very open about their own sexualities either. It's a bit like not telling outsiders about what goes on in the intimacy of your couple or partnership when you've got one. It's a private matter. If you feel really bad about it, you might seek some professional help to discuss it and find out what it was you were trying to achieve, but I also think you might find that solution for yourself.

The other thing I'm thinking about the Skype episode is, are you ashamed of your body? Are you ashamed that your body (and mind) has needs? Probably not. This is one outlet for pent up frustrations and sexuality. It may not correspond to the intimacy you're really craving, but it was one way of feeling less despondent after you'd been stood up twice. Just think of it as taking a pill for a headache. Nothing more, noting less. At least, no one was harmed, you and he were consenting adults, I take it. You can always delete your account and change your name if you need a new account. You can always pretext someone hacking into your account if your friends need to be informed of a new name. The chances of you being caught out having cybersex are probably quite low, and the chances of anyone who counts finding out are also quite low. You'd have to be well known over the Internet (and have porn star ratings) for it to be of any interest.
Is there any rational reason why you fear being found out?
Take care;
PA

[James]

Hi MN1, welcome to the forum, I agree with princealbert, probably not a worry, being stood up by the same person twice sounds more like he has a problem than you. At 25 you have lots of time to find someone worthwhile, date yes, but be sure that they are worthy of you, James

[Spades]

Hi and welcome

Listen to princealbert, he gives good advice. So how about you stop worrying about this and enjoy the conversation?

[LatinCoffee]

How can you ever love someone else--when it starts with u.

[dfiant]

Well I don't know what the other guys saw...soooooooo how about jumping on to Skype with me and show me what you actually did and maybe I can judge then and make you feel better

But in all seriousness, I don't think there are too many people who have done things very similar to what you have done, yeah we regret it, but hey it is what it is, can't take it back and I was be pretty confident it isn't something that will come back to haunt you.

[Rainbowmum]

Hello and

We all make mistakes and do foolish things sometimes, the best thing you can do is learn from it.
There is no way you can undo the past, move past it .and look forward to your future.

We are all here for you.

[Spades]

Originally Posted by dfiant

Well I don't know what the other guys saw...soooooooo how about jumping on to Skype with me and show me what you actually did and maybe I can judge then and make you feel better .

dfiant, not sure if I should thank you for this post or report it!

[dfiant]

Originally Posted by Spades

dfiant, not sure if I should thank you for this post or report it!

If I could thank myself I would, so would you please do the honours

I wouldn't report me, just makes me worse LOL

[Spades]

Originally Posted by dfiant

If I could thank myself I would, so would you please do the honours

I wouldn't report me, just makes me worse LOL

Mmmh, I know giving you a hiding only encourages you, but reporting? Everyone has their kinks I guess

[dfiant]

Originally Posted by Spades

Mmmh, I know giving you a hiding only encourages you, but reporting? Everyone has their kinks I guess

Yes, but a good massage may iron out my kinks....MAY...wouldn't hurt to try though