|10th December 2007||#1|
Time To Meet The Parent...
... And it ain't good.
From all the Boyfriend's tales' she sounds like a battleaxe. So much so, that I can't help but picture her as matriarchal Mafia Ma kinda thing.
Generally, they're a rough lot... And I'm proud of Daniel for turning out as he has.
Trouble is, of our 8-month relationship, 3 months were spent sneaking around in secrecy as she'd forbidden him to see me. In short, she's apparantly not so hot on his sexuality yet, and having a boyfriend three years older than him didn't go down too well either when he broke that news. Why he told her I still don't know.
So, Daniel in his youthful earnest has been pushing her to let me go to his house, which I've only ever been allowed to drive past, and I'm shitting a brick.
There's such an air of... I dunno... Mystery? And taboo... around being at his house, and I'm terrified of meeting his family. By refusing to meet me, and the ill-advised things Daniel has said to her about me, she seems to already HAVE an opinion and image of me, and she doesn't sound the type willing to change it.
In my thoughts, I never EVER get on with her... I just find myself being cornered in a kitchen with her bearing down on me snarling :"I swear, if you hurt my son..." and tirades which mention "heavies" and "Black & Deckers" and then me leaving in tears!
So can you help? How many of you have been through this? And how did it go?
And a word of warning - I'm a wreck over this, as it means a lot to Daniel - so GOOD STORIES ONLY PLEASE!!! Lol.
Dan x x x
|11th December 2007||#2|
At your service ...
Join Date: Oct 2007Single Gay Man
in St. Peter (Jersey)
Age: 35 (Starsign: Taurus)
Awwwwwwwwww babe !!!!! .
Ok, let's tackle this calmly and logically.
First off, it is only natural that you have an opinion of her (and she of you) before you meet, as this is always the case when information about both parties that haven't yet met is relayed through a common medium - in this case, Daniel.
Everybody can have good days, and everybody can have bad days. Having been going out with Martyn for almost 2 years now, I can honestly say hand-on-heart that there have been a number of times when I have introduced him to people and he's said to me afterwards "he/she was NOTHING like I expected based on your description", just as there have been times when he's said "fair play I think you were being too kind/not nice enough when you said (xyz)", so it's all a matter of interpretation and degree.
Daniel, for all his attempts at reconciliation, has been giving you just one side of his mum - the side that he deals with on a regular basis - and so it's easy to lose sight of the fact that she is just a human being like everybody else, with hopes, fears, concerns, issues and so on.
It's only natural that she's going to want to protect her son from what she perceives as ANY kind of threat or predator or what have you, so YOUR best line of attack in this instance is going to be to placate and calm - show her that you're NOT a threat - you're just a really nice lad, and that all you're looking for is the chance to get to know her son better ... make yourself simple, sincere, and approachable and you'll knock any potential wind out of her sails AND make her look INCREDIBLY jealous and insecure if she picks a fight with you ...
That's how I've always done it in the past, and it works a treat for me ... just view it as high-speed chess - think fast, act fast, but maintain the image.
Hope that helps a bit babe xx
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
|11th December 2007||#3|
The Wise Welsh One.
Join Date: Jun 2007Gay Man in a Monogamous Gay Relationship
in Cardiff (UK - Wales)
Age: 25 (Starsign: Sagittarius)
Hmmm my ex's parents hated me from word of mouth at first. Then chris went into more detail and we hung out more spoke on the phone more etc etc. Then I met them, and his mum loved me, saying she was proud of me as im the first decent bf her son had and how wonderful it was I was going to university etc etc.
At this I was all eh He was older than me by 3 years ANYWAY, we split like a year ago.. And started speaking recently and he said his mum is ALWAYS asking about me how much she misses me etc etc
So practically she loves me now But tbh all my mates and ex bf's etc have loved me.. My best mates nan loves me to bits LOL. So I guess im just loveable
Just be yourself, how can she not love you?
Although.. My mum hated one of my ex's and let him know it big time, so much we split Also my mate let his parents meet his bf, and basically they now banned them from being together so..
Could go either way..?
As I grow to understand less and less,
I learn to love it more and more.
|meet, parent, time|
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