LGBT: the way we live..

Hi everyone, im asking you all a massive favour..
Im at college and for my current project we got to pick our own thing to research.
as i am a lesbian, i have chosen to research about the way LGBT live in todays world and the difficulties we face.
and so i have some questions that i really really need answering. i will be so very grateful if you could please answer as this will boost my marks up alot and im not doing to well at the minute!..
Please Please Please! this will help me out so so much and i really wanna go to uni! x x x x x x x x x


LGBT: The way we live

1. What does being gay mean to you?
2. Have people treated you differently because of our sexual orientation?
3. When did you first realise you were gay? Who did you tell? Why did you decide to come out?
4. Was there ever a time when you wish you wouldn’t have come out?
5. Have you received any kind of abuse for your sexual orientation?
6. How did you come out to people?
7. How did your family react?
8. Do you hide your sexual orientation in certain circles? If so why?
9. What’s the best thing about being gay?
10. And the worst?
11. Do you feel gay pride?
12. What’s the strangest question anyone’s ever asked you about being gay
13. Now that you can get married have/ would you?
14. What would you like to see change in the future?

Please answer these the best you can as this really will help me. thankyou from the bottom of my heart x x x ()

[Marky]

Ok ill try answering..

1) Being gay doesnt 'Mean' anything as such, as to me its just part of my life? Nothing different nothing wierd just normal.

2)One or two tend to treat me different, but I tend to like not tell people im gay unless asked, so people meet me as myself not 'Gay' Mark.

3)Realised at 15. Told a few mates, mainly the internet helped alot simply as you can share experiences. Decided to come out because it felt natural? Why should I keep it hidden.

4)I think everyone has a time when they wish they didnt come out, sometimes it would be easier to be straight as its accepted as the 'norm' of society.

5)The abuse I have recieved is simply just a few names, which I think you could guess

6)I think it was some quick comment like, 'Oh she has the wrong bits for me'. But then one mate told everyone so.

7)Mum thinks its a phase, dad knows but chooses to ignore it.

8)Not so much hide, just tend not to mention unless asked, simply as why should I be like 'HI IM MARK IM GAY', straight people dont do that?

9)Best thing about being gay must be.. Idk.. There really isnt a "BEST" thing?

10)Worst is like the abuse which is aimed towards gays. Also the fact I cant have kids..

11)Can you define what you mean by gay pride?

12)Umm strangest question has to be.. do you enjoy your mobile in your pocket when it rings

13)It completely depends upon the situation

14)The attitude towards gays to be more positive, so it isnt seen as the odd one out etc..

[Shadow]

Well, for my part certainly, I'm perfectly happy answering your questions :-

What does being gay mean to you?

Interesting question - it is one isolated aspect of my character - just one part of the greater me if you will. It is, however, a very fundamental part of me, and one that underpins many other aspects of my life - it is not, however, the most important part of my life.

Have people treated you differently because of (y?)our sexual orientation?

Oh absolutely ... I think it's both natural and regrettable really, but yes, they do.

When did you first realise you were gay? Who did you tell? Why did you decide to come out?

I've known I was gay since I was 6 years old. I've told pretty much all the most important people in my life, and word of mouth has spread the news to all the b-list people ... . I chose to come out because things for me reached a point where I felt as though I was both a) living a lie; and b) concealing something HUGELY significant from my friends. Everybody was wondering why I never EVER dated girls, but had large circle of girl friends, and I didn't want to keep lying to them about it all.

Was there ever a time when you wish you wouldn’t have come out?

Again, yes, absolutely, but it's a fleeting thought and were somebody to offer me a straight-up choice, I know in my heart of hearts I wouldn't go back.

Have you received any kind of abuse for your sexual orientation?

Yes, but most often indirectly ... few and far between are those people STUPID enough to take me on directly.

How did you come out to people?

I wanted it to be done on a 1-2-1 with the most important people first, and working down from there ... so in all but a couplea cases, those people I wanted to tell, I've told in person. The exceptions are where word of mouth has beaten me to it, which I do regret, or in the case of my best mate Matthew, to whom I had to write a letter as I couldn't bring myself to say it to his face , BUT I gave him the letter in person and asked him to read it in my presence.

How did your family react?

I've not discussed it with all of them, but my mother and brother have been 100% supportive. My father knows, but we've not discussed it, so he's in denial basically.

Do you hide your sexual orientation in certain circles? If so why?

I must admit I do, yes. Why do I do it ? Well first off I think it's important to note that whenever I do I feel very, very bad about it as I feel like a coward, and that is something I strive to avoid being wherever possible. However there are instances when it's nobody's business, or where it would be ill-advised to do so, or where I can't be @rsed or, most often, because I'm still fearful of rejection, and that's the main reason.

What’s the best thing about being gay?

The best thing ? Being yourself, definitely. Acknowledging your a homo is literally like being handed the key to your own freedom. The key to your own closet if you like ... and from there, what you do is your business ... it can be extremely liberating to just be yourself, in all the myriad forms and possibilities that can entail ...

And the worst?

The worst ? The negativity that people still have towards it. See my answer to your question before your previous one .

Do you feel gay pride?

Not really, no. I think we're all individuals, and whilst I support the endeavours of those people that strive to promote equality FOR us, and whilst I do feel proud to be myself (and I am a homo), I do not feel gay pride per se ...

What’s the strangest question anyone’s ever asked you about being gay ?

. Do I enjoy the sensation of taking a dump.

Now that you can get married have/ would you?

Nope, Jersey doesn't recognise same sex unions/marriages.

What would you like to see change in the future?

I take it this question relates to the LGBT ? If so then I would like to see us forming part of a world where everybody can be treated as equals, plain and simple.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[wouldlikemuscle]

Firstly, welcome to GS!!

Here's my answers...


LGBT: The way we live

1. What does being gay mean to you?

Just happening to fancy people of the same sex.

1. Have people treated you differently because of our sexual orientation?

Oh yes... it's opens up a whole new world of conversations when people find out, and there is of course the hidden feelings people might have towards me about being gay.
My closest mates don't really treat me any different though... they just know something more about me and we're perhaps closer because of it... my closest mates are all female btw!

1. When did you first realise you were gay? Who did you tell? Why did you decide to come out?

First realised ... at the age of 13/14.
I told no-one, except for the occasional meet via certain online personals sites, until Feb this year (2007). although there was this 1 incident with a gay school-mate (now ex-mate).
I decided to come out because I finally was able to fully accept in myself and felt that continuing to hide it... and essentially lie to myself and everyone else would not be being true to myself.

1. Was there ever a time when you wish you wouldn’t have come out?

Nooo... in fact, I wish I had done it earlier!!

1. Have you received any kind of abuse for your sexual orientation?

Yes... the incident mentioned briefly with the school mate led to some long term verbal bullying by him (him being gay too making it a whole lot worse). I went into complete denial about my sexuality and verged on the side of being quite homophobic.

1. How did you come out to people?

First person - close friend at a club.. I was 'quite merry' as was she... and we were talking about how our families had said we should go out with each other... I then declared "I hadn't been entirely straight with her"!

Next 2 mates - met a services that we all pass going to and from our relevant workplaces. Grabbed a KFC and just told them.

Next person... Mum... was kinda a long term process trying to figure out who she felt about gay people. Then a convo came up in the car about going out with my mate who I came out to first... then told her it wouldn't work because I'm gay.

Any other people have been on a kinda 1-2-1 basis... where I've had the confidence in them to be able to tell em.

1. How did your family react?

Mum was quite teary at first... but said she'd always be proud of me and loved me no matter what.

Dad was fine with it but said to keep my options open as I'm not very sexually experience (ie I could still like girls)... little does he know what experience I have had!

Rest of the family I've told... all fine... not all know yet though.

1. Do you hide your sexual orientation in certain circles? If so why?

Not that I hide it... I just don't have any reason to mention it unless they ask and I keep my personal life private to most.

1. What’s the best thing about being gay?

I think I would have to say the sex... in my experience, gay guys are a bit more experimental than most straight couples I know.

1. And the worst?

The lack of acceptance that still exists with many people.

1. Do you feel gay pride?

I am who I am... to me, being gay isn't anything to feel more or less proud of than being straight. So to answer the question, no, not really.

1. What’s the strangest question anyone’s ever asked you about being gay

Seriously... do I find that my faeces is bigger due to anal sex?

1. Now that you can get married have/ would you?

If I find the right person, sure.

1. What would you like to see change in the future?

Better equality worldwide... It is an utter shame that homosexuality is still illegal in many countries.



Not sure why the numbering system got all screwed up... all reverting to 1.!!! lol

Feel free to ask anything further! And good luck with your project

LGBT: The way we live

1. What does being gay mean to you? -------- Being gay is part of who I am.. It does not define all of me. It means I am different, but yet the same.
   
2. Have people treated you differently because of our sexual orientation? -------Yes-- My dad disowned me.
3. When did you first realise you were gay? Who did you tell? Why did you decide to come out?---------- I realized I was gay when I was about 12... I told my mom when I was 17. I was tired of living a lie.
4. Was there ever a time when you wish you wouldn’t have come out?---- No.. If people cant accept that part of me, there is no need for them to be in my life.
5. Have you received any kind of abuse for your sexual orientation?--- Physical- no
6. How did you come out to people? ---------Letter.
7. How did your family react?------ They didnt care. I am the same person now as I was before I told them.. Now I am more open because I dont have to hide this anymore.
8. Do you hide your sexual orientation in certain circles? If so why?------- I just moved, so no.
9. What’s the best thing about being gay?-------- Seeing the world through eyes that are judged.. Weird you might think... What I mean is we as gay guys/girls are less hateful towards others for being different than the "norm" and I think thats a really big plus..
10. And the worst? ---------- The hate.
11. Do you feel gay pride? ---------- I dont think there is a reason to be proud to be gay.... I think you should be proud of yourself for accepting it.
12. What’s the strangest question anyone’s ever asked you about being gay?-------- "Have you had sex with a guy?" No joke.. I mean HELLO!!! I am gay!
13. Now that you can get married have/ would you? ------ Yes If I found the right guy.
14. What would you like to see change in the future? ----- Less hate, more accepting people.... More gay guys... This 1 out of 10 thing really sucks bad...

I will try my best but I just took my sleeping pill so dont know how well I will do...



What does being gay mean to you? It is everything. It defines who I am. It is always on my mind and the fight I take every day to stay proud and strong in a world so small minded.

Have people treated you differently because of our sexual orientation? Of course. I treat them differently when they are heterosexual. This doesnt mean they treat me worse or better but definitely different.

When did you first realise you were gay? Who did you tell? Why did you decide to come out? I realized between fifth and sixth grade. I found myself more sexually interested in my best male friends nipples than best females breasts. I didnt tell anyone until about University. Maybe the very first person was a Psychiatrist. She told me I was straight and should date women - she was sooooo wrong! At uni I was in the sports dorm, lucky me, my floor was full of swimmers and they would invite me to shaving parties where they would get nude and shave all their hair off. If I told them I wouldnt be invited to anymore shaving parties so I went to a Psych.

Was there ever a time when you wish you wouldn’t have come out? Nope. After realizing that this Psych was wrong I started coming out to everyone at Uni and it was the best thing in the world. A couple months later I lost my virginity and then six months later fell in love with a woman - crazy uni.

Have you received any kind of abuse for your sexual orientation? I dont really think so. I got into some arguments with religious idiots but kept my own with them. There were a few times when some idiot would scream "fag" or something but then my GF would say "He is with a beautiful woman and youre with six other guys". My GF had big balls for 5'2". After breaking up I found that headphones worked very well.

How did you come out to people? I have something to tell you. I am gay.

How did your family react? My mother is a religious fanatic without any religious knowledge (the worse kind). She loves me and loves my BF but is sad that she wont meet me in heaven but I think I wont see HER in heaven... My father is rather blase about the whole thing. Sis is pretty cool with it all.

Do you hide your sexual orientation in certain circles? If so why? I wouldnt say hide but just not as openly open or rather non-sexual. I feel most heterosexuals are pretty non-sexual so I didnt want to overly sex them up so became more non-sexual and we were all comfy.

What’s the best thing about being gay? That another man will be able to understand me better than 99.9% of women making life a lot easier.

And the worst? That it will never be totally equal. Like if I see a handsome guy in the supermarket I have to be sneaky about how I watch him. Cant get caught or it turns weird instead of a compliment. When the whole world is bi-sexual it will be a lot more relaxed.

Do you feel gay pride? Of course. Why not?

What’s the strangest question anyone’s ever asked you about being gay? It was a comment. When I told a new friend that I was gay she said she would grow a dick for me. That was sooo nice of her. I discouraged it though.

Now that you can get married have/ would you? My state still doesnt recognize it. I dont know if I would or not. Sometimes I hate everything about the heterosexual world so if I had an occasion it would have to be something like "The Big Gay Commitment" or something like that.

What would you like to see change in the future? This question is a little vague. Recently I am really into politics so I guess having every office in every city, state, country being held only by gays would be a great start.

I hope some of this was useful to you and good luck in your project.
frank

[spotysocks]

1. What does being gay mean to you? It's my sexuality different from being straight
   
3. Have people treated you differently because of our sexual orientation? Yes, but from people i know not strangers. Me being gay has been used before as a negative especially in an argument about something else. I just dont fall for it. Also i have lost some friends and gained new ones.
   
   
4. When did you first realise you were gay? Who did you tell? Why did you decide to come out? That's not easy for me to tell , i d say i must have known since i was very very young but i wasnt sure or aware of what the whole thing was. I didnt tell anyone untill i was confident in myself which took years. I came out to friends when i was about 25.
   
   
5. Was there ever a time when you wish you wouldn’t have come out? To some people yes. It took me time to get used to the idea of being out.
   
6. Have you received any kind of abuse for your sexual orientation? Not physical abuse, emotional and psychological abuse yes.
   
   
7. How did you come out to people? I wanted first to know their views about homosexuality before i come out , to have an idea how thy will react. Then i didnt make any major statement out of it when the conversation was there i told the people i chose i am gay.
   
   
8. How did your family react? They were not sure how serious i was about it but they are very supporting, Only thing they worried was for me being happy and the gossip and people reactions so i was careful how to behave in a small and very Christian city.
   
   
9. Do you hide your sexual orientation in certain circles? If so why? I am not introducing myself and say my sexual orientation, i don't have to but i don't hide it either. If someone genuinely wants to know more about me then i ll tell
   
   
10. What’s the best thing about being gay? Being true to myself and free from any kind of anxiety quite a lot closeted people deal with.
    
    
11. And the worst? Most of the reasons you made and we answer this questionnaire.
    
12. Do you feel gay pride? I dont always understand the meaning of this term to be honest. I havent gone out wearing my briefs and the gay flag yet. I am not ashamed of my sexuality either and i am proud for the person i am.
    
    
13. What’s the strangest question anyone’s ever asked you about being gay? 'So you like cock then?' Stupid and rude comment.
    
14. Now that you can get married have/ would you? I might do one day.I like the fact it is possible where i live but the most important thing is to find my soulmate and keep him.
    
15. What would you like to see change in the future? Equality. A change to peoples mind and society on the perception of homosexuality being something abnormal and prohibited. See the person not the sexuality.