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A fellow gay coworker called me hun, is he into me?
#1
So about a week ago I came out to this openly gay coworker for advice and whatnot... Anyhow I noticed ever since then he has been acting friendlier towards me like talking to me more, more active on my Facebook page, etc. Thought it was just due to me coming out and feeling a connection because we're both gay...
This guy is 10 years older then me, has a partner, I'm not attracted to him and I don't believe in dating coworkers because it just adds drama and makes the work environment uncomfortable...
However, recently, he messaged me on Facebook and we talked for a little bit. Fair enough. However he ended the conversation with gotta go to bed, good night, hun (he has never called me that before) and added a blushing face. Is it me or is he testing waters?
I don't know what to do because maybe I'm freaking out over nothing or maybe he's into me and thus I don't want to accidentally play with his feelings by giving him the wrong impression...
I hate hurting people's feelings so how do I bring it up with him without making it like we can never talk again or something?
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#2
Maybe it's nothing. He's in a relationship, so if it's something then it's bad!
You're not into him, so pretend it's nothing, for now?
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#3
I think you're probably reading too much in to just a friendly sign off. It's something I do to gay friends whether I'm speaking to thm on the 'phone, or chatting on line. It doesn't mean anything hun!
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#4
A couple of things.

Consider this. You reached out to him. He responded. I'll grant you that its possible that he is physically or emotionally attracted to you even if he has no intention of ever acting on it. Why make it into a problem? There are lots of men and women who work together, may even engage in light flirtation, but have no intention of stepping out on their partners. It's nice to be liked, including liked sexually. If your perception is right, just don't give your coworker any encouragement if it ever comes to that. Give him the benefit of the doubt though. Don't go giving him the "I hope you're not attracted to be because. . . " You two have to work together. You can be friends. You don't have to make him feel bad. Why not wait and see if it ever comes to anything rather than just assuming?

On the other hand, if it becomes clear that he is pursuing rather than merely enjoying a newfound friendship, you can simply state that it is not in the cards. You can still preserve a friendship most likely. Again, don't borrow trouble by assuming the worst and reacting that way. Assume the best. It often helps shape what transpires.

You publish with your avatar that you live in Nowhere USA. That implies gays are few and far between there, so it stands to reason BOTH of you could use more gay friends. If that is true, you are indeed fortunate to have found one. I work in a business with 200 employees, and only one other is an out gay person. See how that works? And I live in a city of 700,000.
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#5
Well, hun...depends on what parts he hails from.

I suspect it is just his general term of endearment for anyone he includes in his list of friends on Facebook so I wouldn't be picking out silverware patterns just yet.
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#6
Mostly diner waitresses call me that. I never assumed that meant I figured into their long-term plans.
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#7
"Hun" is an affectionate abbreviation for "honey," to my mind not to be taken seriously.

Or, it is a gray partridge.

Take your pick.
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#8
You are putting entirely too much emphasis on this.

Though it is possible that he thinks you are some sort of Mongolian.
I bid NO Trump!
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#9
Hun is a term of endearment of sorts....but not one of romantic or sexual interest. I think it is a safe bet if he calls you "hun" he thinks of you as a friend or acquaintance....

I do think it is nice though that you are thoughtful enough to consider what the implications might be.....
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#10
I call people by "hun" all the time but I'm not romantically interested in any of them either. I even call my straight friends "hun" Smile I think more than anything, it was just his way of ending a conversation? I could be totally wrong but then again, I am generally oblivious to guys around me anyway. Big Grin
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