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A joke NOT for the religious
#1
There was a knock on the door this past Saturday morning. I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said:"Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness." So I said "Come in and sit down." I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?" He said, "Haven't got a clue.... Nobody ever let me in before."



Now here`s what happened when the Mormons knocked and got in.....click below......






"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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#2
Classic misses brown's boys
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#3
I wish I could still find the Firefly vids that show this dialog:

Book: What are we up to, sweetheart?

River Tam: Fixing your Bible.

Book: I, um...[alarmed] What?

River Tam: Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics - doesn't make sense.

[she's marked up the bible, crossed out passages and torn out pages]

Book: No, no. You-you-you can't...

River Tam: So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem.

Book: Really?

River Tam: We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat.

[rips out page]

Continues as Book tells her that you don't "fix the Bible, it fixes you" and then has a tug of war over ripped pages with her before he tells her, "You keep those."
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#4
Love it.....LOVE IT!!!
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