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A rare bottle of Scotch
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Two Scotsmen had been pals since childhood and had shared everything over the years. One day, Angus won a rare bottle of Scotch in a door prize.

Immediately, Jock says, "Open it up and we'll have a dram."

"Naw, ah'm goin' tae save it for a special occasion."

Birthdays came and went, his anniversaries came and went, but Jock could never get Angus to open the bottle.

Finally Angus had a heart attack, and was laying on his deathbed. He motioned for his old friend to come closer.

"Jock, remember that rare bottle of Scotch I won?"

"Aye, ah certainly do, Angus!"

"Weell, ah like ye tae do me a favor Jock, my dear friend."

"Aye, anything ye ask Angus."

"When ah'm dead, wid ye take that bottle an' open it up."

"Aye, Angus, then what?"

"Wid ye pour it over ma grave?"

"Pour it over yer grave? My god Angus. It's 70 year old Scotch! But I'll do it for ye."

"Oh, ye're a real pal Jock, and ah'll appreciate that."

Jock says, "There's just one thing Angus, wid ye mind if ah filter it through my kidneys first?"
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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