Dan1089 Wrote:What?Is that a huge "no,no" in the thinking gay man's etiquette guide?marshlander,would you be offended if I sent you a pic of my manly bits?
Not to our knowledge, Dan. on the contrary it seems to be the DONE thing... lol. 
He should have thought of it as a great present... you offering yourself on a (silver nitrate) plate so to speak
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A lot of guys tend to 'publicise' pictures of their apendages all over the shop now! I guess it's something to do with the culture. I personally prefer to keep those kinda things private... I guess I'm a little old fashioned in that respect - If a guy knows what he's getting in advance he might not join the chase or might be in it for just one thing if you know what I mean - where as if it's dragged out over time you'll get to see their true colours, they'll get to see your's, you can properly get to know eachother. I guess it's a bit like a treasure hunt  mile: You go on an exploration, solving the mysteries and finding things out, which makes the moment you discover the treasure so much more worthwhile (unless you discover the treasure is in fact a mouldy old boot). mile:
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Dan1089 Wrote:What?Is that a huge "no,no" in the thinking gay man's etiquette guide?marshlander,would you be offended if I sent you a pic of my manly bits? Hmm ... surprised, perhaps, but certainly not offended
All the best mile:
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A friend send a letter to me and it included a photo of his prince albert = and yes, we were a bit shocked and disgusted... especially, since someone else said, when youre not expecting something like that in the post.
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I get offended if someone does that.
And its happened many times.
Meet a guy and next thing you know you're phone gets flooded with pics of his erect member.
I think its vulgar and quite insulting. It kinda feels dirty and prostituty....
BUT.... i've always been full of shit, so dont pay too much mind to me ! 
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)) as for me, it would be really unordinary hint - to get such "welcoming" )))
suppose, I'd be slightly shoked and embarassed a lot! ))
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Fascinating responses to the way this thread has turned. I wonder whether there are any cultural influences that might also account for some of the ways we would feel about receiving unsolicited penis pics?
Does this mean that those of us who would be shocked to receive such pictures would never seek gay porn as an "aide à main" (PA will tell me if I can invent a phrase like that, I'm sure!)? If that's not the case I wonder what it is that causes offence or makes us feel uncomfortable? Since it would clearly not be the content, would it involve - purely the unsolicited nature of the sending (is there no room for surprise in a relationship?) ...
- the sense of a loss of control of the direction of the relationship ...
- sending to one's telephone is seen as an invasion of privacy (how does that explain the popularity of telephone porn?) ...
- we feel embarrassed that someone else might see the picture ...
- it presents a different side to the relationship that has hitherto been outside our expectation or understanding ...
- it makes explicit some things that have not yet been verbalised ...
- we attach motives and values to the act that may not reflect reality ...
- a feeling that that sort of thing is what other people do, not me, not my partner (nice boys don't?) ...
- some externally imposed moral code (good boys don't!) ...
- internalised homophobia ?????
- ... any combination of the above or an etc that I'm too lazy to consider at the moment ...
The reasons for sending such a picture are possibly many and I have no idea (even if I think I might be able to guess) at why Dan did this, nor are his motives any of my business. It happened. He told us about it. So what? In a more generalised sense it could be that the sender thinks it's sexy, saucy, funny, trusting, an affirmation of intimacy ... etc, but surely no one in a relationship that is opening up would send an intimate photograph in order to offend? It may be possible for the sender to misjudge the timing of the act, but aren't we in danger of misjudging the motive too ... particularly when we know nothing about it and the case in question has nothing to do with any of us?
For the record, my hilarity was caused by the euphemistic reference to "Dan Jnr", not a term I'd encountered previously, but nonetheless one I found endearing
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marshlander Wrote:Fascinating responses to the way this thread has turned. I wonder whether there are any cultural influences that might also account for some of the ways we would feel about receiving unsolicited penis pics?
Does this mean that those of us who would be shocked to receive such pictures would never seek gay porn as an "aide à main" (PA will tell me if I can invent a phrase like that, I'm sure!)? If that's not the case I wonder what it is that causes offence or makes us feel uncomfortable? Since it would clearly not be the content, would it involve - purely the unsolicited nature of the sending (is there no room for surprise in a relationship?) ...
- the sense of a loss of control of the direction of the relationship ...
- sending to one's telephone is seen as an invasion of privacy (how does that explain the popularity of telephone porn?) ...
- we feel embarrassed that someone else might see the picture ...
- it presents a different side to the relationship that has hitherto been outside our expectation or understanding ...
- it makes explicit some things that have not yet been verbalised ...
- we attach motives and values to the act that may not reflect reality ...
- a feeling that that sort of thing is what other people do, not me, not my partner (nice boys don't?) ...
- some externally imposed moral code (good boys don't!) ...
- internalised homophobia ?????
- ... any combination of the above or an etc that I'm too lazy to consider at the moment ...
The reasons for sending such a picture are possibly many and I have no idea (even if I think I might be able to guess) at why Dan did this, nor are his motives any of my business. It happened. He told us about it. So what? In a more generalised sense it could be that the sender thinks it's sexy, saucy, funny, trusting, an affirmation of intimacy ... etc, but surely no one in a relationship that is opening up would send an intimate photograph in order to offend? It may be possible for the sender to misjudge the timing of the act, but aren't we in danger of misjudging the motive too ... particularly when we know nothing about it and the case in question has nothing to do with any of us?
For the record, my hilarity was caused by the euphemistic reference to "Dan Jnr", not a term I'd encountered previously, but nonetheless one I found endearing
Excellent post, Marsh... and I, like a fool, really thought Dan had sent a picture of a child he'd had.... how innocent am I?  I ought to know that Dan is a virgin in terms of dadhood... lol
no... really... mile:
C'est tout moi... or maybe I don't understand English that well.
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princealbertofb Wrote:Excellent post, Marsh... and I, like a fool, really thought Dan had sent a picture of a child he'd had.... how innocent am I? I ought to know that Dan is a virgin in terms of dadhood... lol
no... really...mile:
C'est tout moi... or maybe I don't understand English that well.
Agreed on the excellent post by Marsh. I guess I was "a little shocked and disgusted" due to the fact that the penis in my example was not very photogenic. Also, it was from a friend who is/was a bit of a drag queen. This was way before digital photography where one can take a thousand pics, find a nice one, frame it well, manipulate it and add a message to show how one made you feel. I think that would be a very nice gesture.
But I must say I got the giggles, again, over PAs little post above.
PA thanks for the giggles 
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