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Advice on starting relationship
#1
Ok, so here's the stitch. I met this guy about 6 weeks ago on grindr. It started out really casual. He asked to hang out after like 4 or 5 days of talking on grindr. That's when it all started. Before you know it we were hanging out every day, I was sleeping with him almost every night. He went on a cruise for the week, and did everything in his power to talk to me during his cruise. He texted me all the time, asked me to go on his lunch breaks with him, and we were having a great time!. I grew some serious feelings for this boy, and I seriously thought he did the same for me. We finally had sex after a month of us meeting, the night before he left for a wedding in NY for the weekend. Then everything changed. The Monday he got back he tells me that he doesn't want anything heavy right now, and that I'm being too clingy. Ever sInce that weekend, two weeks ago, he has not initiated the conversation once. I've hung out with the guy once in the past two and a half weeks. I'll text him and he will reply always, but will never send the first text anymore. I don't know whats happening. He tells me he is trying to create necessary space between us because I'm wanting a lot more than he is. I am utterly confused by his total transformation, and I honestly don't know what to do. Help?
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#2
You don't mention his age.

But I'm guessing he's young (your age?), and he doesn't know what he wants.

He might have been fun, but he's not a serious candidate for a LTR.

Keep searching if that's what you want. JMHO.

Good luck.
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#3
He will be 30 in October. But he kept telling me before his turnaround how attracted he was to me and how into me he was. And how it would take a month or two of us hanging out for something serious to happen.
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#4
"met him on grindr"

Stopped reading.
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#5
Grindr isn't always about sex and hookups. Sometimes you meet genuine guys.
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#6
cfeuquay Wrote:Grindr isn't always about sex and hookups. Sometimes you meet genuine guys.

But the odds are not in your favor, as you are finding out. It has a stigma for a reason.
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#7
Did you not read that it took a month to have sex? Anyways, definitely not the point.
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#8
cfeuquay Wrote:Did you not read that it took a month to have sex? Anyways, definitely not the point.

Actually, I was making the point. Grindr is the perfect medium for guys that want a "test run" instead of a relationship, or even a friendship. This guy sounds like a tool, I'm sorry he wasn't more forward with what he wanted. He isn't worth your time, since he seems to think you aren't worth his.
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#9
Grind'r has a bad rep. It is known to be a sex only/hook-up for sex only sort of deal. Even I know this and I am technologically impaired. I have heard nothing but bad experiences about Grind'r.

Its nice to know you have a 30 day no sex policy, that usually does weed out the players, but I fear there are a few who are really intent on wracking up their conquests and will do anything and wait as long as necessary to 'win' their conquest.

From what you wrote it appears this is one of those guys - Everything was fine, and he did all the right things then you had sex - that is the turning point there and things went south.

No it wasn't the weekend in NY, it was the fact you gave it up, he got his 'conquest' and is now preparing to move on to the next conquest.

There are plenty of similar posts on this site and across the internet that starts of with 'I met a guy on Grind'r....' and end with the poster being shocked that after the sex the guy up and decided he wasn't interested in a relationship.

I read what you wrote and I see a manipulative bastard - Not you, HIM.

I'm sorry he hurt you. It was a mean, cruel thing for him to do. He should have been a lot more honest from the start instead of stringing you along and getting sex then dumping you in this horrible fashion. Its his bad - not yours.
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#10
Sex app's are for people looking for sex, not relationships.

When they tire of the sex, they move on.
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