Am I overreacting, he won't rim me?

[Mark88]

In August I met a guy. We both didn't want a relationship but missed hugging and dating so we did that, FWB and a little more.
I've grown to like him, a lot. I mean, it's been 6 months. And he feels the same way. He's really worried I'll meet someone and asked me to not date.

Two weeks ago we thought it would be fun to invite a 3rd guy round. While the guy was doing stuff with me, I look over and he's rimming the guy....and my heart broke. For 6 months I've been asking him if he's interested and I get told no. After 20 minutes this guy is over, didn't even need to ask him and he was being rimmed....

I've hinted, and asked him to rim me as I've never had it done to me. But he always told me it was dirty.
Last month a guy send him an arse picture and he said "I can't wait to rim that" and he also told me last year he rimmed his boyfriend a lot.
I just keep thinking about it, am I right to be sad over this? Sad to the point I actually cried.

We talked about it, and he just said "yeah. I didn't want to do that, I just did"
I told it hurt, but I don't think he understands.

This guy means everything to me, I know it's not love. But I don't wanna lose him, I feel like I will if I keep nagging him about it.

[InbetweenDreams]

Not sure but sounds like maybe he just doesn't want to rim you for whatever the reason? At any rate this is why involving 3rd parties can get very dicey.

Chances are he probably doesn't realize how much that mattered to you...he'll also more than likely think you're making a bigger deal than it is about it as well.

Is it specifically rimming that bothers you or that your partner might not be physically attracted to you?

Being so early on in a relationship, fwb, etc... There's a lot of things you learn about people. Some say friends first and in a lot of ways that does make the most sense but if you're after a long term/permanent relationship, sex, sexual attraction and all that need to be a addressed at some point. So I could say that with something like fwb, it works the other way around, there is more to sex, if you two are wanting to build a friendship, best to get the feelings about it all out in the open. Doesn't mean you need to spill your guts all at once like an intervention but if you are wanting this guy around forever, probably more important to work on the friendship side and as far as rim jobs it's just one thing, why he wouldn't do it to you could be a number of reasons, but he should be able to say why it is, but no I wouldn't push the issue that much.

[IanSaysHi]

Not sure but sounds like maybe he just doesn't want to rim you for whatever the reason?

^This.

I can think of two reasons why;

1) He doesn't want to rim you because of your ass. Maybe yours is hairy, maybe he's seen it in a bad state of hygiene or whatever and he can't get the thought out of his head (I'm not saying you DO have bad hygiene, I don't know you, I'm just saying these are possible reasons)

Or

2) Despite not being in a relationship with him, you're frequently seeing each other and he's asked you not to date anyone. Perhaps he associates rimming with one-offs, maybe he can do it to these other guys because he's detached from them, perhaps in his mind it's something he wants to do sexually but doesn't want to do mentally, so doing it with guys he doesn't have to see regularly makes it okay? Perhaps it's actually the fact he wants to see you regularly that is/isn't the problem here. I'd just accept this as something you two don't do, every 'relationship' has sacrifices.

[RomanticMan]

^This.

I can think of two reasons why;

1) He doesn't want to rim you because of your ass. Maybe yours is hairy, maybe he's seen it in a bad state of hygiene or whatever and he can't get the thought out of his head (I'm not saying you DO have bad hygiene)

I think it's not related specifically to HIS personal hygiene. Even if a guy's ass had a hygiene operation by surgeon, I would probably still insist on not rimming. it's maybe pschological, but I still cannot believe a person's ass could be hygienic.

I'm saying it can be psychological because you might oppose to me like hands are not hygiene, either. Yes, even if you wash them million of times, they still have bacteria like ass. But I wouldnt feel myself into doing it .

[IanSaysHi]

I think it's not related specifically to HIS personal hygiene.

We had a thread on here the other day asking about dingleberries. People can have different levels of hygiene. I'm not on about your personal tastes but the OPs partner.

[RomanticMan]

We had a thread on here the other day asking about dingleberries. People can have different levels of hygiene. I'm not on about your personal tastes but the OPs partner.

me, neither. I'm not on my personal tastes, either. So thanks for the support
My point is men says many things like this ''I cannot wait to rim him'', ''I would make him blah blah'' but reality may not match with the dreams.

So actually my point was totally about OP's parnet, examplifying on myself.

[Marcus]

I was about to reply but [MENTION=23058]IanSaysHi[/MENTION] said it with better words. I don't believe for one second that he "didn't want to do that": one doesn't bury their face in a man's butt and thoroughly clean the anus with their tongue if they don't want to. He was also clearly eager to rim another one...he loves rimming, he just doesn't want to rim you for whatever reason, maybe he doesn't tell you the truth because he's afraid of hurting your feelings (or...he's just a filthy liar )

[IanSaysHi]

My point is men says many things like this ''I cannot wait to rim him'', ''I would make him blah blah'' but reality may not match with the dreams.

Yes but the OP's partner didn't just say these things.. The OP saw his partner actually doing it to another guy. Plus he said he used to do it to his boyfriend a lot.

[meridannight]

Even if a guy's ass had a hygiene operation by surgeon, I would probably still insist on not rimming. it's maybe pschological, but I still cannot believe a person's ass could be hygienic.

I love doing it to a guy. Nothing dirty about it, it's sexy. I love making a man feel good, and that is the most important thing; more important than whatever queasiness there might be (and there isn't for me). A man's ass smells and tastes good. You don't know what you're missing.

For the record, hands and mouth are also very dirty body parts. The mouth is infested with all kinds of bacteria, and hands just carry random crap along with them from all over the place. (And cut your finger nails please! Not doing that is dirty). The ass is as clean as you wash it. If you're a stranger to shower, then I agree that you're unsanitary.

[RomanticMan]

I love doing it to a guy. Nothing dirty about it, it's sexy. I love making a man feel good, and that is the most important thing; more important than whatever queasiness there might be (and there isn't for me). A man's ass smells and tastes good. You don't know what you're missing.

For the record, hands and mouth are also very dirty body parts. The mouth is infested with all kinds of bacteria, and hands just carry random crap along with them from all over the place. (And cut your finger nails please!). The ass is as clean as you wash it. If you never take a shower, then I agree that you're unsanitary.

I think it maybe something related to psychology as I told above, hands are also dirty and I totally agree with you. I of course take shower and wash my ass after pooping (Sorry for being disgusting, but I had to be ) .

This is probably a psychological issue. Maybe I would like it but I think i'll hate rimming .