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verysimple Wrote:idk.. i didn't really find it that "Amazing"
I mean, It wasn't really that great, hell i didn't even enjoy it.
Now that you mentioned it. when he came i was actually a bit turned off.. omg! That makes me question my sexual orientation.
When you do it with someone you're in love with, lust over, are infatuated with, trust and admire, have good physical and emotional chemistry with... it will be mind blowing.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Sorry you are no longer a virgin.
My condolences on your loss.
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Bluelight Wrote:Oh the virginity thing... do I have a few words to say about this one. I think that some gay guys have this annoying tendency to de-value anything that's not penetration, mostly because they're so proud of how good they've become at anal sex that they feel the need to be placed higher than other gay guys who don't practice penetration. Same thing straight guys do, they value themselves through sex, except in the gay world there's a whole new level added to it, just to create a few more ranks. It's a ridiculous, catty hierarchy of sex. And take it from me, I've done oral and anal, both are great, but don't listen to anyone who says that oral isn't sex, it's still sex.
You've got a point, but at the same time, I don't know that every gay person values the fact that they've been penetrated or have penetrated someone else orally or anally (or vaginally) ... It's just one of those experiences of life, that one hopes will be the most magical possible, not one of pain. For those unlucky souls who were robbed of their virginity by rape, there is no getting back of that intactness, nor is there any easy way or regaining self confidence and trust in another person to the same degree as one would have trusted a partner who'd been caring and considerate enough to make that experience a good one. Let's just hope that as many people as possible can give up their virginity when they feel ready, when their own curiosity of sex and their own body responses are clued enough to handle it. After all, it's not difficult, and it need not be painful. Sex should be a time for joy, warmth, intimacy and togetherness, sharing and satisfaction.
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Jake Wrote:You're not a girl dude. Virginity is based on the breaking of the hymen. Now do you have a hymen? And further more regarding that, many girls will break their hymen due to physical activities, yet they have not been penetrated. What you had was your first sexual encounter, leave it at that. I shoved things up my ass as early as 12 years old, does that made me a virgin because it wasn't a dick? No the virginity is lost when you first get your first successful wank, why because you're no longer sexually unaware.
That's a bit restrictive. Virginity for girls may be linked to the breaking of their hymens, or to penetrative sex (vaginal) but it only makes sense (to some extent) in relation to being able to procreate and make a baby... You're no longer a virgin once there is proof of a new life living inside you. ( Except that strange exception of the Holy Virgin, who was obviously no longer a virgin once she'd got Jesus inside her).
Well, that's not going to happen to us guys. So we have virginity or rookieness all through our lives. Virginity can also be about what's been unexplored. Unexplored sexual practices can make you a super virgin. Add that experience and you've lost that innocence, or should we say ignorance. Anyway, that's why we called some lands or forests virginal. (The Virgin Islands, Virginia ... the virgin forest, or were these named after Saint Mary?)
As it happens the Virgin Queen (Queen Elizabeth I's other name) is a surname that was only given to her because she did not bear children. She was said to have many a lover, so she was apparently barren or infertile? At the time, would she not have preferred to bear children and get married? Maybe not. She had a way with power and not getting married, or pregnant was a way of achieving this, right? As for being a virgin in the acceptation that you recommend (in terms of being penis-penetrated), was she? Probably not.
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It's a state of mind for me. I'd been sucking and riding cock for some years before a guy made me feel like I lost my virginity. He made me feel absolutely taken, possessed, used, deflowered and flat out FUCKED. No question, I hadn't a vestige of virginity or innocence after that.
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Cunningluvr, you make it sound like quite the experience... Yes, it can be mind blowing, numbing, ecstatic etc etc... Most of the time it's pleasant, and leaves you with a good feeling. But anxiety and stress, and being in the wrong place with the wrong person can make it a so-so (if not downright disappointing or distasteful) experience. Sex is adult food, I'd say. It's an acquired taste... and it'll take a while before you wean yourself off self- pleasuring (masturbation) to find the beauty of pleasuring someone else, while enjoying yourself too.
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In my opinion, when you've grown accustomed to pressing the "buttons" on somebody else, you've lost your virginity.
Just my personal definition.
Oh and yes, sex is probably awkward and disappointing the first times. It's safe to assume that you're tense and trying to soak it all in, while all you need to do is relax and go with the flow.
I'm sorry it wasn't totally satisfactory, but maybe you've set unreasonable porn-inspired standards? That's known to happen too.
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Bhp91126 Wrote:Yep, many people have the same experience and wonder afterwards what all the fuss is about. Unfortunately sex is like playing a video game. Practice makes perfect and beginners tend to fumble a lot.
With sex you need to figure out what you like to do, what you like to do to the other person, what the other person wants you to do, what the other wants to do to you etc. to really enjoy it. That's why people say they can only have sex with someone they love and do it with repeatedly.
However, discovering what a new person wants and does to you can also be its own appeal, which makes casual sex interesting. You will find people where the sex is boring and sometimes you just get along like a house on fire with the other one.
sex was supposed to be an expression form of love that turned into a product that is bought and sold... the truth behind it was disappointing in regards of the fantasy that i had... yet i believe it is 10x better when it is no longer sex but love making!
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palbert Wrote:It will take time and experience until you feel comfortable. You will discover what you do/don't like.
that's pretty comforting to know...
I am glad it gets better with time although i thought it would be fantastic at first time and then it gets boring and disappointing....
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Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:Sorry you are no longer a virgin.
My condolences on your loss.
uhh... K...
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