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Anyone else have a problem with alcohol?
#1
Hey everyone, i was just curious if anyone else on here has a problem with alcohol or any kind of substance abuse. I feel that when I'm really down it takes the edge off. I know that it is worse for you to do this, but sometimes it just seems easier to temporarily forget or delay my problems than to face them. Does that make me a coward? I guess it does... I never let my drinking interfere with my job, but i have had the past 4days off and ive been hammered every night. I just feel that the public opinion of transgendered people is that we are freaks. I know of a few people in the LGB (minus the T) community that are grossed out and disgusted by what I am. I just feel that if the some of the gay community hates me, what do the straight people think of me? I don't want sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'm just a pretty reserved person, but when im drunk as I mentioned now, I ask questions without inhibitions. Anyone else feel like I do? Thanks for the input everybody.
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#2
Alcohol exaggerates emotions for me so I never drink if I'm feeling sad.

It doesn't really make you a coward, but using alcohol to hide problems instead of dealing with them sounds like it's step one towards an addiction.

Is the transgendered thing the sole cause of it? Because there are lots of people who don't mind at all. I have a transgendered kid in my class and she's pretty popular. I think you've just ended up in the wrong circles or something if that's how you feel. Cheer up Smile You've been brave enough to actually be yourself so with a little work I know you can overcome this as well. Find people who don't mind you for being yourself and do your best to ignore the ones who don't.

As for myself, I've always kind of respected transgendered people because I imagine it takes even more courage for them to be themselves than it takes for us others.
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#3
I've been struggling with alcohol following a nervous breakdown I had four years ago. Currently, I'm in a 6 month outpatient intensive therapy program that I go to Mondays through Friday. It's very informative, and helping me tremendously.

So, no... you're not alone.

Maybe you should seek some help yourself, but only if you're ready. Coming to the realization that you might have a problem is a HUGE step in itself, so kudos to youSmile

Maybe you should seek out some AA meeting in your area.. they're not for everyone, but they can help. Check out www.aa.org to get more information.

Maybe some therapy would be beneficial also, given the rejection you feel you've been dealt by the people around you, and the LGB community that haven't been as welcoming as they should.

It's hard finding acceptance, but drinking isn't going to further that process any sooner. You're only hurting yourself.

Keep your head up, and good luck!
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#4
Now I love to drink just as much as the next person, but I have never let my drinking get out of control. If I do go out and drink at the bars, I always make sure I am sober to drive home afterwards or I have a friends house I can walk to and crash out at. I have gone on drinking binges before and my longest one was 2 months. I was out everyday of the week at the gay bars drinking because everyone was buying me drinks. I didnt have a job at the time so I had nothing else to do and all my friends wanted to hang out with me. So I would go out to the bars and they would get me plastered. Then I would walk home since I used to live 2 blocks from the bars.

Now I only go out to the bars on the weekends and even then I hardly drink now. Dont let me get you wrong, I still get drunk, just not as often in my life. So I guess I would be saying that going on a four day binge is not wrong, just means your catching up. Just hope you had fun the entire time you were drinking, otherwise it's a waste of your time.
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#5
unkown21 Wrote:...sometimes it just seems easier to temporarily forget or delay my problems than to face them. Does that make me a coward?
That doesn't make you a coward, it just shows you're human. We all find ways to temporarily forget: alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gaming, are just some of the more popular ones. As long as it IS temporary, and you still face your problems in a more constructive way, don't beat yourself up over it.

If your use of alcohol is becoming addictive, that's another story. (And I'd say getting hammered 4 nights in a row is a least self-abusive.) It's hard for anyone to change that without help. Be honest with yourself. Having positive support (friends, family, AA, a counselor, whatever) is the best way to avoid that trap.

I use alcohol to take the edge off sometimes, and once in a while I take it too far. If I have more than 2 drinks when I'm alone, that's a red flag for me.
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#6
My problem is cannabis, not alcohol, i began smoking at 13 and havent looked back since, some of you may say its not a problem because you had a toke at a party once, I've had various stages on other drugs but never became hooked, and cannabis been there throughout, it is problem at times, i can get ratty without it, also the issue of smoking unfiltered tobacco and what that does to me, also can have mood swings, alcohols the only thing that has never been a problem for me, and can take it or leave it really
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#7
Don't worry, venting is good. Reaching out is good. No judgment.

Yes, I've had a problem. At this point it's a coin toss over whether I'll keep or lose my scholarship, in no small part thanks to drinking too much to forget about the things I'm afraid of. Being in this position, the prospect of getting plastered every night (usually alone) doesn't seem quite so appealing anymore. Luckily you've acknowledged you might have a problem without really jeopardizing your current position.

I can't fathom what it's like to be transgender in a cisgender world, to have what society tell you're supposed to be based on what's on the outside be so fundamentally at odds with who you really are. The way I see it TGs have balls of steel (or boobs of steel, as the case may be). Unkown, you've got boobs of steel - maybe not on the outside, but where it really matters: in your heart. Don't drown those steel boobs in a sea of ethanol.

Surely there are others who can relate to you on different levels that you can reach out to. On the alcohol level, the TG level, the general-human-suffering level, or all three or anything in between. I know how hard it can be to reach out in even the slightest way if you're a reserved person, but if you're feeling yourself start to develop a problem, then it's worth it. You owe it to your boobs of steel.
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#8
Problem with alcohol/substances... Not really, I just drank oceans of alcohol and did mountains of meth - oh about 17 years ago I go clean and sober.

Like you I used substances and alcohol to self medicate.

I have SAD (seasonal mood swings) and I drank heavily in summer due to hypo-mania and I used lots of meth to treat the melancholia. I also have other 'issues' like PTSD and anxiety and am socially underdeveloped - Hmm - introverted.

Drinking was never just to enjoy the alcohol, it was to mellow me out. Meth was used to make me more socially available and/or to break the melancholia.

Seems to me you are 'self medicating' and while right now you are not drinking on the job or doing a snort in the morning like people do a few cups of coffee... eventually you will need more 'medication' and will treat your growing issues heavier and harder.

Ignoring those issues, trying to bury them, hide them, or put of dealing with them through any means only makes matters worse.

While right now you are not drinking on the job, or drinking and driving, or doing illicit activities to score more drugs ( I sold meth for a while in order to support my growing habit, I became my number one customer) Eventually you will.

Drinking solves nothing - while you forget about your problems for the moment, they have a tendency to sit there and worsen.

So around age 30 when you want to get your life together, and look back at the first wasted decade of your adulthood you will find that ignoring your feelings and the situations of that decade compound with the underlying issues you already have.

I therefore strongly suggest you get a therapist and start working on the underlying issues (the alcohol in this case is not your problem). It may take a few tries to find the therapist that works for you, do not give up if the first doesn't match up.

I'll be the last person on earth to tell you you need to stop drinking. That isn't what you need right now, you need to start dealing with the crap beneath and then the drinking will pretty much clear up on its own.

Now days I can actually drink for the enjoyment of the alcohol. I had a couple drinks on Easter - it wasn't me slamming down a few strong drinks in order to get the courage to face the day, it was me actually sipping and relaxing and enjoying.

Understand, I have worked real hard on my 'issues' that caused me to drink oceans of alcohol and use mountains of meth... With those issues dealt with the need for a drink, the need for speed just isn't there anymore.
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