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Are some people meant to be alone?
#1
Are some people meant to spend their whole life alone without experiencing any relationship?

I feel that I'm such a person. Reaching 30 yrs old, I have never gotten into a relationship.

Maybe looks and body does matter whether one gets into a relationship. Because I am quite horribly ugly looking to the extent that the mirror might cry when it has a mouth and sees my reflection. And my body is no better. I feel I'm bringing a bad name to branded clothes by wearing them.

Back in school days, whenever my classmates and I dress up in formal attire for presentation, the girls will be complimenting and praising all the other guys. But nobody will notice what I wore or give a comment about it, even my own group members. I guess I must look pretty horrendous in formal.

I have been to many places and nobody has approached me. Even if I approached people, they will just say hi and move away from me. Just feel very sad. I guess i dun have the image to be in a relationship. People would think I'm not fit to date them or something.

I guess i'm the real human version of 'Forever Alone'.
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#2
People aren't really meant to do anything, they always have the opportunity of choice.

You obviously have some self-esteem issues you need to work on. Whether you'd like to see some kind of councellor or not is completely up to you, but it's always an option.

As for your appearance, to a certain extent people have to accept their physical shortcomings. Everyone has something they feel bad about. I have a surgery scar and crooked teeth that make me feel kind of uncomfortable when smiling. Things that can't be dealt with need to just be accepted; everything else can be improved. You could dwell on them forever, but just think how pointless that would be. Neither mourning nor tears will make them go away and the sooner you realize that the better! Most things, however, CAN actually be dealt with! Smile

If you're unhappy about your body, I suggest you start exercising. Get a gym membership if you can afford it. If not, then select the kind of free work-out type (running, home exercises etc.) you prefer the most and read up on weight-loss, proper diets etc. You can gradually amend whatever it is that you don't like about your body and your self-esteem will probably sky-rocket as you make progress.

As for your look in general, you're free to experiment freely in any way you'd like. If you can't be happy with the way you currently look then try different hair-styles, colours, different beards or just whatever until you find a look you're more comfortable with. I generally dislike these really shallow and superficial examples but I had a friend who suddenly got very attractive to his classmates and started getting asked out when all he did was get new glasses and dye his hair darker.

What you really need to destroy right now is the illusion that you're powerless. You need to realize that your worth as a human being isn't derived from the way you look and simply come to peace with your own body. But you have all the opportunities to improve yourself in any way you see fit. All you need is the motivation, and different people find motivation in different ways so I think you're the only one who knows what works for you! Smile
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#3
As long as you think like that you'll live like that.
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#4
Concentrate on improving your own outlook on life, find activities and hobbies you like doing and engage in them, you may meet new people this way. If you find yourself to be socially awkward why not join a website such as this and use it to practice skills in communicating and getting to know people, you may even make some new friends this way. Use the social skills and the good qualities you have to reach out to people, in turn you will boost your confidence and be more attractive to other people.

You do not have to be alone unless you choose to be.
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#5
I'm sorry, because it must hurt to feel the way you do all the time. However, it's time for someone to bring an end to your pity party.Wolfie I guess that will be me. You seem to be overly consumed with dramatics. I am quite sure that your perceived ugliness would not cause a mirror to do anything but what it is meant to. Also, it is my experience that when classmates or group members tend to ignore someone, it is generally because they don't want to be around the negative energy that the person is throwing off.
Everyone, at some point in life, is meant to experience relationships....be it friendships, acquaintances, loves, etc. People look for positive attributes in others. You, my anonymous friend, aren't showing anything positive. Other posters have suggested exercise to deal with your body image dysmorphia. Some have talked about different hairstyles, beards, etc. You first need to accept you for who you are. If you think you are ugly as sin, then others pick up on that negativity. Lighten up. God don't make garbage. I struggled for many years thinking I was unlovable due to my fair-to-average looks and heavy build. But I accepted that if people wouldn't love me for who I was, then they weren't worth fretting over. Love yourself. Embrace life and let life embrace you. Quit selling yourself short, and please, for God's sake, get a better attitude! If you believe you a superstar, you will be one in your own right. Believe me, baby....love will find you. You'll make friends, form friendships and relationships as long as you stop the drama and get a positive outlook on life. Oh, and stop being anonymous. We all need a name, even if its a nom de plume. Love ya, babyCatmilk
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#6
Wow,
There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said.
what you decide to do with this advice that these guy are telling you is up to you.
I can feel your negativity just reading your post. It's time for you to make a change.
Put on your big boy pants and take these comments to hart.
Reply

#7
HumbleTangerine Wrote:People aren't really meant to do anything, they always have the opportunity of choice.

You obviously have some self-esteem issues you need to work on. Whether you'd like to see some kind of councellor or not is completely up to you, but it's always an option.

As for your appearance, to a certain extent people have to accept their physical shortcomings. Everyone has something they feel bad about. I have a surgery scar and crooked teeth that make me feel kind of uncomfortable when smiling. Things that can't be dealt with need to just be accepted; everything else can be improved. You could dwell on them forever, but just think how pointless that would be. Neither mourning nor tears will make them go away and the sooner you realize that the better! Most things, however, CAN actually be dealt with! Smile

If you're unhappy about your body, I suggest you start exercising. Get a gym membership if you can afford it. If not, then select the kind of free work-out type (running, home exercises etc.) you prefer the most and read up on weight-loss, proper diets etc. You can gradually amend whatever it is that you don't like about your body and your self-esteem will probably sky-rocket as you make progress.

As for your look in general, you're free to experiment freely in any way you'd like. If you can't be happy with the way you currently look then try different hair-styles, colours, different beards or just whatever until you find a look you're more comfortable with. I generally dislike these really shallow and superficial examples but I had a friend who suddenly got very attractive to his classmates and started getting asked out when all he did was get new glasses and dye his hair darker.

What you really need to destroy right now is the illusion that you're powerless. You need to realize that your worth as a human being isn't derived from the way you look and simply come to peace with your own body. But you have all the opportunities to improve yourself in any way you see fit. All you need is the motivation, and different people find motivation in different ways so I think you're the only one who knows what works for you! Smile

Couldn't have said it better...
Reply

#8
Like others have already pointed out, your issues with your looks probably have more to do with your poor self-confidence than your actual looks. Rather than doing something to improve your looks, I'd advice to do something about your state of mind. And you don't have to do that all by yourself (and anyone who claims that you're pathetic for not making it on your own is an idiot). Have you started therapy already? I'd strongly recommend that you do, even if it doesn't seem to work at first!
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#9
I would like to add another question. How to know whether the other person is interested in having a conversation with you?
Reply

#10
Anonymous Wrote:I would like to add another question. How to know whether the other person is interested in having a conversation with you?

Take the lead, be friendly, approach them and initiate conversation. Try to read their responses.

If they run screaming, you might want to work on your social skills.
Reply



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