Baby with a friend??

[Anonymous]

Hi guys,

Been a while since i posted anything on here but i have a slight predicament i think would be best shared here in my search for advice.

So...

I have a friend (female) who is really wanting to have a baby. She doesnt want to have an anonymous sperm donor from the sperm bank and does not have a current partner nor looking for one.

She has basically asked me if i would father a child for her. As in get her pregnant and then be there as a father when i'm not at work. (weekends)

I mean...i'm all happy to have a child and i have enough funding to support it.
But...is this like a normal thing to do?
Will people think we are a bit odd for having a baby when i am not her partner and never have been.

I'm a bi-sexual male but i tend to prefer men most of the time.
So when it comes to doing the "deed" with her it shouldn't be an issue. But will this make things awkward? I have never seen her naked or anything before and now there's a chance i could be banging her to make a baby :/ (mind f**k)

Can you guys give me some opinions on weather you think things like this are a good idea.

My mind is far from made up and the advice i get will most likely sway my opinion too so please be nice and honest.
No haters either

[Lexington]

My gut feeling is that you should decline. Not because the set-up is strange (I've heard of stranger ones), but because there's a peculiar lack of enthusiasm in your post. You seem more concerned with seeing your friend naked and "having had sex with her" than your responsibilities as a parent for the next two decades. That alone suggests to me that this isn't such a great idea.

Lex

[Pyromancer]

I agree with [MENTION=21778]Lexington[/MENTION].

Another consideration...what about YOUR life? She wants you to be there...evenings/weekends/holidays...so when do you have time to go out and maybe meet someone that you'd want to build a future with? What happens if you get into a relationship and want to spend some of those times with your partner? If you were already in a relationship and your partner agreed with the plan, that would be one thing...but if you're just starting out with someone?

IDK...it sounds like your gut instinct is to say No...it's fine to weightall the pros and cons logically...but in the end, go with your gut.

[jimcrackcorn]

What happens if the "friendship" goes down the drain?

You could be dragged into court and forced to pay child support every month..........

[Cinestry]

But...is this like a normal thing to do?

I don't think it is important to think about whether it's something that's considered 'normal' or not, but to me your post sounds like this is one of your bigger issues here. To me it would probably be more important to think about how this is going to affect the rest of your whole life (!!!).
I know this isn't an example as extreme as yours but I'll write it down anyway: when I was 14 I wanted a specific horse, but she was only 2 years old at the time which meant I'll still have her when I'm almost 50. People did tell me this, but I wouldn't listen and chose her anyway. I am still really happy with her, I love her more than anything, but it's starting to kick in that because of this decision some of my dreams will never come true. I've been wanting to move to America since forever, but this is not going to happen because I can't just leave her behind. Obviously I don't blame her or regret buying her, but part of me is also a bit sad because of this and back then I would never have thought of it this way.

What I'm trying to say is that of course it's your own choice, but please do think about the fact that will partially determine your whole future.

[Borg69]

A lot of people in this world have kids because they CAN... with little thought to if they SHOULD.

Breeding and replicating isn't necessarily our sole purpose in life, and it seems rather short sighted to not think about the child's future. While I'm sure you're both starting out thinking you're going to be loving parents, how is the child going to feel that you two shagged up for no other reason that to reproduce like cats in some back alley because of a biological clock?

Can you afford it? Do you have the time to devote to a child? You do realize this is a 18-20+ YEAR obligation at best.

[Rareboy]

Why do you think you'd have to fuck her to be a sperm donor?

In fact this is an inefficient way to do it.

I'm also really, really, offended by the idea of bringing a baby into the world and just being an occasional babysitter. Really? Are you both so selfish that this baby is just a thing to have to satisfy some need she has and to not really inconvenience you?

From what I read, neither of you should necessarily be parenting.

[East]

Anonymous sperm donors are much better.

There are strings you can't even imagine attached to this deal...and you wont like them...

I strongly sense that you will regret the decision someday...and unfortunately...the child will have to pay for it..sooner or later...in one way or another....

[MikeW]

The very fact that you've come to a forum with a sack on your head tells me the answer is a HUGE NO!

It would be different, perhaps, if you were excited about this and wanted to be a parent. If you were looking forward to being a father to a child, helping raise him/her, being there for them as they grow up and so on.

We get none of that from your question. What we get is "is this weird" (no, not all that much), "will this be awkward," (face palms).

DUDE you're not ready to be a parent.

[JohnSomebody]

I've have had a few lesbian couples and some female friends who were single and requested me to be their sperm donor. I happen to agree with a lot of the responses that you're getting on this subject...(I'm a big fan of MikeW's responses...just awesome!!!!)...but to say the least...I did decline all of them...and guess what??? although I declined in the most flattering manner...none of these women have spoken to me since. This is a very touch matter and therefore you have gotten some great advice ....Good luck with your decision...