Being gay

[novice]

SUCKS. Makes me want to kill myself. Impossible to meet guys & even if you do they can't be relied on. Short relationships & constant chase for who knows what. Either popularity or beauty contest. Depressing.

[swalter]

And you think you'd have a great life, if only you craved vagina? Get a grip. Your sexual orientation has nothing to do with the quality of your life. If you woke up tomorrow suddenly finding women sexually-desirable, that's all that would be different. You'd still be you. If you're unhappy and miserable, you have to take some responsibility and work on fixing that. Being gay isn't the problem....

[meninlove]

SUCKS. Makes me want to kill myself. Impossible to meet guys & even if you do they can't be relied on. Short relationships & constant chase for who knows what. Either popularity or beauty contest. Depressing.

Good grief, you mean nothing's changed since I came out in 1975? =O

[TwisttheLeaf]

And you think you'd have a great life, if only you craved vagina? Get a grip. Your sexual orientation has nothing to do with the quality of your life. If you woke up tomorrow suddenly finding women sexually-desirable, that's all that would be different. You'd still be you. If you're unhappy and miserable, you have to take some responsibility and work on fixing that. Being gay isn't the problem....

He has a point. Especially in a place like Reno (I had to look at where you live because it -does- make a huge difference in how you're treated as a gay man and how easy/difficult it is to find others.

If you were somewhere in the bible belt of the mid-west in some tiny closed off town of close-minded people? It might be another matter. Then you may have to consider moving in order to get a better handle on the quality of life you wish to have as a gay man. But in a metropolis like Reno... it's all on you man. Maybe you're looking in the wrong places, yeah?

[LJay]

Being human sucks. It is difficult, scary, lonely and a host of other things. We just have to do the best we can. Try hard. Be happy with the small successes. Sure you will fail, but we all do. One step at a time and smile even if it is hard.

So now that I have described a typical day for me, what will you do with yours tomorrow?

[Wade]

I'd just like to take a moment to acknowledge how appropriate the thread title is for this particular website.

[novice]

And you think you'd have a great life, if only you craved vagina? Get a grip. Your sexual orientation has nothing to do with the quality of your life. If you woke up tomorrow suddenly finding women sexually-desirable, that's all that would be different. You'd still be you. If you're unhappy and miserable, you have to take some responsibility and work on fixing that. Being gay isn't the problem....

I dated women most of my life so I know a bit of the straight dating life/world - it's no picnic either but I do think it's not as difficult. Women tend to be more reliable & usually seek out stable relationships - guys are pretty much the opposite.

I am a lot of my own "problem" but gay dating, etc. is what it is - I can't alter how other people "act" in it. It seems to me 80% of the time guys are always looking for someone else other than anyone available. No one is ever anyone else's "type". Unless you fit the pretty boy gay stereotype & even those guys go through relationships quickly. It just seems like a non-stop, neverending "hunt."

It doesn't matter where you live if no one wants you.

[Mark]

I have to say lack of confidence isn't really a turn on where as having confidence kinda is. You can't be happy in a relationship with someone if you really aren't happy with yourself. I don't know the ins and outs of your life and I don't want to sound like I'm preaching, but there is someone out there - maybe you are just looking in the wrong places.

[novice]

"I have to say lack of confidence isn't really a turn on where as having confidence kinda is. You can't be happy in a relationship with someone if you really aren't happy with yourself. I don't know the ins and outs of your life and I don't want to sound like I'm preaching, but there is someone out there - maybe you are just looking in the wrong places."

In my case I acted confident & "normal" so that wasn't a relationship issue but yes, confidence is probably an attractive trait. Personally idk where the hell to look period. Part of the problem I guess!?

[Wolfpack]

Try engage in new activities and hobbies, try to meet people that way, use the Internet and the community in your area. You may meet someone this way to be friends with and maybe more. You are not the only one who finds it hard, but we all have to keep trying and pushing forward. Because what is the alternative, just sit and do nothing, fall into a cycle of depressed thinking? That will not solve anything.

I am sure someone out there feels the way you do, and love to meet and be with someone just like you.