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Big guys :)
#1
Hello,
I have something to confess, and also a little advice sought, if anyone has any suggestions. I really like big guys (and occasionally girls); by big, I mean what people would consider overweight, and significantly so. Big enough that other people would be quite struck by it, to think, if not say 'what a large person.' I am pretty much exclusively attracted to that kind of guy. Not in any kind of fetish way, it's just what looks good to me.

I have a slight issue because it seems taboo to speak this, hence my anonymity. One can say they like muscle guys, slim guys, beefy guys, etc. But not so much very big guys. Not just that others might ridicule me- I really wouldn't care, though offensive comments to a guy I'm with hurt me. But that it is difficult even to deal with these feelings within a relationship. Let me explain- I've had 3 boyfriends before, 2 of whom were very large men. They both had very much anxiety around physical sides of relationships- even getting undressed or just being touched in certain areas was difficult for them. My last boyfriend hated me touching his belly, but I secretly really wanted to touch it a lot. Understandable they feel this way, given the hard times they'd received over the years for their size. But it's difficult.

This was a barrier, and I had to reassure them that I found them attractive. But even then, it was kind of in such a way as to say 'I don't think badly of you' and 'you're attractive to me'. almost tiptoing around as if I didn't notice their weight or fancied them despite it. In most relationships, it's great and normal to say 'I love your body'. But for me, it's like I cannot say 'I love your body, love your size, love you how you are'. I've never tried to say anything as ouvert as that. I just assume it would be difficult for the guy to hear, given as, like I say, most big guys are very self concious. Maybe many big guys are totally confident, I could be way off. This is just my experience so far though, and it worries me. Within sexual relations, I have found myself acting like I sort of didn't much notice their body, so they didn't feel self concious of being looked and touched. I am sad this is how it is... my limited experience could be way off, I just mean, what I have encountered so far, this is the way people tend to feel.

Does anyone have any advice? How to have fulfilling relationships with big guys, or indeed anyone who is very very self concious. I hope this made some kind of sense Confused
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#2
I think communication is vital in a relationship.

Okay, I was morbid obese. So let say I am still overweight and you are my boyfriend. I would like you to assure me that the relationship that we are having is real. Your love is truly sincere.

I was conscious with my body but I am not the overly sensitive type of guy. So I would appreciate it if you actually sit down beside me, hug and caress me. Then explain to me why you think I am hot in your mind. You don't need to say, 'Oh more meat to explore ...". Be romantic and gentle. Give eye contact. Tell me that almost everyone whether straight or gay has preferences. Some guys are into hairy guys, buff guys, smooth guys etc. You are into big guys but assure me once again that you love towards me is sincere and true.

... Sorry, I can't help much on this. But I do wish the best for you.
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#3
i understand the other side of that relationship as i was really fat b4...
i was 122KGs and i had a lot of hard time bcoz of that like u mentioned already...

being overweight creates this huge problem with selfesteem...
even when i lost most of my weight now (im 82 now) ... i still see myself fat and dont look acceptable
enough even for my boyfriend who looks gorgeous...

the only time i mad him snap was when i couldnt stop talking about my weight and that i dont see what
he likes in me....

but to be honest.... being with him now has worked like a charm on me... i dont have to question my
looks now anymore... at least not how i used to do b4...

u just have to keep telling him what u see good about him... the eyes... the smile... or anything like
that... but when it comes to the weight issue... just dont say it like "i love ur weight".... thats a big no no
u have to be more gentle when it comes to that matter...
give him confidence b4 u start on the weight issue... and good luck Wink
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#4
yay!! love for the buy guys. Everyone needs love lol
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#5
Im a recovering big guy (lol) I used to be quite big and hated my body and I am still overweight now but losing alot of weight..

I can say from experience (but it might not be the same for anyone)a big guy wont believe you when you say they are attractive, I know I certainly didn't.. I used to ask my boyfriend if he fancied me.. in which he answered "I wouldn't be lying on top on you naked if I didn't fancy you" lol.. which I would then reply why do you fancy me? I couldn't believe such a hot slim guy could fall for me.. its all self esteem.. and your problem will be that even if its great for you, the majority of big guys will hate their body.

The first response kind of covers it all really, eye contact, body contact and let them know whether they are as thin as a stick or twice the size they are now you'd still want them..

From a health conscious point of view I just hope you dont become a "feeder" because its very dangerous to.be that large.

Hope I helped x
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#6
Just assurance and sincerity would do.
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#7
Large guys and gals aren't always unfit or unhealthy and there is no shame in being attracted to large bodies.

I personally love skinny guys, so the sooner people realise they don't have to be a muscle bound gym bunny to be admired the better.

Then again, there is so much more to a person than body type Wink
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#8
Perhaps you need to find someone that enjoys the chub aspect. Have you ever heard of the feeder fetish? (hope i'm using the right term) You could even start with a skinny guy that has that fetish, and then plump him up lol. I don't know how common it is, but I've heard of it referenced/joked about, so there must be some sites out there related to it?
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#9
well i prefer chubby men rather than skinny guys.. they are more huggable :biggrin:
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#10
People like us need people like you.

I'm glad we are all different.

A size-conscious partner might need a lot of reassurance though. A life-time of bad comments is not going to be chased away overnight.
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