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Lives of Quiet Desperation
#11
That is BRILLIANT!
LOVE it!
Smile
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#12
30 years ago when I was a teenager I had the same thoughts that consumed me for the next decade.

And then life just happened and I couldn't be happier. Yeah the world is fucked up, but my life is great, so fuck the world, they can sort out their own problems Smile
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#13
Hang in there. I have been feeling alone lately too. I've had a lot to sort out and I've reached out to people and they don't seem to want to return my calls. I've called family members to check on them and they don't return my calls. Someone fairly close to me came into town and didn't bother to let me know. I've tried to meet up with people for social events and things always seem to fall through and I end up by myself. It's like people just don't have time for me or there is something I'm missing. It's like that sometimes. It seems like people don't seem to care about, but I wonder how much of my happiness should be tied to whether or not they have time for me. I came to the realization that there are actually people who do care and I have nothing to worry about. Yeah it sucks that I'm not important enough to call back, but there are people who care. I came to the point where I have to like me and treat myself because my life is valuable. My life has a purpose. Your life is more valuable than you think. You are more valuable than people are making you out to be. Your life has a purpose and you really should make sure you know it so that others don't determine it for you.
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#14
You're not the bad person. At least you don't sound like one in your post Wink

Like many ppl have said already, you're giving others too much credit - their opinions are their own, you do not have to agree with them. A set of principles that will guide you in life is more important than who-says-what.

I've gone through my own depression too. But as the saying goes "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and wiser - if you learned from the mistakes. What you need is a few really close friends that you can trust completely and can be your support and encouragement when you're weak. Pick people who have similar value systems with you, similar interests/hobbies, and who are willing to make some kind of a sacrifice for the friendship. In time you'll realize who are really worthy of your time and who are not.

I'm not sure if you're on anti-depressants or not but I personally am not fan of it - unless the person is suicidal or has attempted suicide. There are a lot of ways to find your way out of this darkness. But first and foremost, you need someone who you can turn to when you're down without having to worry whether he/she will be there or not. That kind of friend/family member is what I'm talking about.

Also, go out and volunteer. You'll find that taking the focus off of yourself is good distraction from the depressive thoughts that hang around your mind. Take up an activity that involves 3 or more people. I'm not sure if you're into sports or not but basketball is a good one or soccer etc. You get the idea. You're an introvert and there's a lot of good things with introverts (we're more sensitive, we think about things a lot, more emotional, etc.) but we need activities that will help to balance things out so we're not stuck in our own world.

Hope this will help you. Feel free to pm me or anyone on this site. There's only limited support that can be offered via virtual community like this but it'll get you started Wink

Cheer up dude! :biggrin:
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