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Boy drama... Can't get this off my mind.
#1

Hey guys! I've had this on my mind for a couple days now, and I just really need someone to talk to and just express how I feel. I'm a 17 year old boy.

I did a show last December at my local community theatre, and it had just ended. By late December we had the final cast party, which is where it all started. There was a boy who played the lead who was rumored to be gay... and of course, there were rumors about me also. During the party we ended up sitting beside each other on the couch, and he started playing with my hair. I got signs that he was... and that maybe I should tell him about me. Later that night... all the beds were taken so we had to take the floor. It was dark and he started to kiss me. This was my first kiss... and WITH A GUY. I didn't really know what to do, but I just went with it because I really liked it. The night went on just kissing and talking lol. In the morning it was fine and we said our goodbyes and stuff.

Like a couple weeks later we went to go see a movie (Avatar actually). When we were there we kissed. I was kind of uncomfortable because I didn't want to upset anyone else in the theatre. My mind was so set on the kissing that if you asked me anything about the movie... I wouldn't know (just that there's blue people). After the movie he came over. Things happened.

The next day he texted me saying he thinks we did that too soon, and I agreed. About a month ago... he started talking about the "date" we had at the movies. I said I didn't know it was a date. I think he got quite upset about it... but he offered to go on an actual date. I declined.

I was really scared. I just came out in December after the party, and I felt really new to everything. I never even went on dates with girls, so I was really nervous. But I declined, and he said okay he understands. By the way, my mom doesn't know... but she's said before she it doesn't matter who I love. I was kind of afraid to tell her that I was gay though.

ANYWAY. Months went by... and this July I apologized to him if I hurt him. I explained to him that it wasn't HIM and it was me. I was confused, angry with myself, and naiive. He told me he liked me, and he felt used and cheap, but he understands. He accepted my apology.

Last week was my show reunion at one of the cast members house. It was my first time drinking and I just wanted to have fun... but I had everything but that (until midnight). I was laying on the field while people talked around me, roasted marshmallows, etc., and the boy came up to me and laid beside me. He started talking (don't really remember what the topic was) and he got closer and closer, and started playing with my hair. At this point everyone who was at that party... knew what had happened months before... so I was fine with him touching me. I was about to tell the boy how I felt, and said that I think we should start again with everything. Anyway, another boy... Adam (a good friend) comes up to us, and lays his head on the boys shoulder. He kind of ruined the time we were having. He was also drunk (so the was the boy by the way).

Next thing I know we're going to get more drinks from the house not far away. I hear Adam say to the boy "let's go in the tent." Adam and the boy go in the tent and start fooling around. I knew because I went with them.. and realized why they had went. I told asked them what they were doing. Adam told me to go away for a sec. I told them to get out because it was my tent. They both get up and move into a random tent which happened to be close by. I told my friend Marissa what's happening... and I'm upset. We went to the tent and over heard them talk sexually.

I was really shocked and upset at this. I had admitted to myself that it was mostly jealousy, but I wanted to make things work with the boy too. They had come out about a half hour later and the boy said we all have to talk. They both had said that it didn't mean anything. Adam said he was bi-curious and just likes doing things with guys but would never date a guy. So our talk had been interrupted by someone wanting something from Adam. So we got up and started walking towards the house.

All throughout the night they had been laying beside each other, and talking. Adam kept telling me to go away. I felt useless and kind of embarassed. I kept walking away, then later finding them together.

I was really angry, so gave both of them the silent treatment (which didn't matter anyway because I was sent away when I DID talk). In the morning, I continued with the silent treatment. The boy didn't seem to remember (well I didn't talk to him). Adam asked if I'm mad at him... but just ignored him. He said sorry.. but whatever.

Oh, the thing that made me REALLY MAD was when I walked to my tent and found them in MY TENT in MY SLEEPING BAG. Of course I was sent away, but I told them when I come back they better be out.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? IT HAPPENED ON SUNDAY. I HAVEN'T TALKED TO EITHER OF THEM. IT'S ALL I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT. DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?

Sorry for the length and spelling/grammatical errors... I just wanted to let my feelings and thoughts out.
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#2
You didn't do anything wrong besides sort of not treating the boy properly during the months past. I mean, he probably feels hurt. I think what happened between the Adam guy and The Boy was mostly because they were drunk and because The Boy was hurt. Screw them. Not literally. Just give The Boy some time, see what happens and then eventually talk to him and tell him how you feel. Good luck. :]
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#3
Thank you very much.
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#4
Hey,

I was going to write a long reply, but instead I will keep it short. If this boy is willing to run off and have a quickie with some other boy right in the middle of the two of you chatting, getting closer and rebuilding the connection you had then is he the kind of boy you would want to have a relationship with?

Adam is no friend for the part he played in this, and both of them can use alcohol as an excuse but it doesn't excuse what they did.

The short of it is two horny teens did not respect you - demonstrated by their actions in the situation. Dont let that stop you having respect for yourself. If you forgive this boys actions and form a relationship with him he will feel he can do this to you again and again and again.
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#5
I agree whole-handedly with juk. It may not necessarily have been malicious, mind you - but it was clearly insensitive to the implications surrounding the situation.

Personally, I feel that most horny teenagers ( such as myself Tongue ) are better off experimenting whilst separating prolonged emotions from such acts, whether it affects the individual themselves or those around them such as someone in your position. As a force of nature I suppose one could argue that we are somewhat hormonally primed at this age to engage in sexual activity - however, we are certainly not emotionally primed.

Anyway, having said all this, it does seem that you, whether intentionally or not, gave him quite a cold shoulder at first. That's my only criticism.
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#6
WHAT SHOULD I DO? IT HAPPENED ON SUNDAY. I HAVEN'T TALKED TO EITHER OF THEM. IT'S ALL I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT. DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?

Tell the boy everything you have said here....clear communication is always the best approach in my opinion...you will likely learn things you never knew you never knew...and so will he. Good Luck!
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#7
I have a suggestion. Just move on with it. Life can suck at times and at times it can be joyous. You have to lick today's wounds for tomorrow's battles. There will be more boys to come I'm sure. More craziness for damn sure.
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