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Breakup or Stay together
#1
Im sorry guys this is going to be along one. Everything I say in here really did happen.

I met my boyfriend mick though his friend Justin. I only dated Asian guys, and Justin said that Mick was a good guy that he never cheated on anyone. I had a bad history of every ex of mine but one cheating.

I started dating mick in 2010 and we were going along good. We went white water rafting, We wen to Sweet Water creek all the time, we went to various restaurants in Atlanta. He was the perfect gentlemen. We spent almost 4 days a week together. We both were in school. I was in a technical college school trying to make my way to the university (i succeed), and he was in the master's degree program for Nurse practitioner of mental health.

In December of 2012 he graduated and told me he was going to move to Phoenix, AZ and leave me in Atlanta and this would be temporary and he would be back in a year to get a graduate certificate at Georgia State to see children under 13.

I was madly in love with Mick. We continue to talk to each other, I was so happy with him. No matter how bad my day was, if I heard his voice I felt all warm and became very cheerful. I wanted to propose to him. I tricked him into measuring his finger to get the ring size. I was going to buy him an engagement ring. I asked him if he ever considered getting married or setting up some legal documents to tie us together. He said I could never legally entangle myself with you. My heart was crushed.

After the end of March 2012 he became more and more distant. He told me that if talking to him for an hour was not enough that I had problems. We began to super distant; he informed me that he missed me so much that he actually decided to attend meetup groups so he would not have to think about me, and that was the reason he didn't have time to talk to me. He also started to go out to clubs. In August 2012 I demanded he return to Atlanta for a visit or I would leave him. He complied can came back to Atlanta for a brief visit. He seems more concerned about vising his friends he spent 50% of the time with his friends in Atlanta instead of dedicating time to make up for the disconnection we had. He spent about 4 days in Atlanta in hotels with me. (Im still a student).

While going to his best friend Antonio's house during his visit in AUG 2012, he attempted to send a text message to let Antonio know we were on our way. He handed me the phone to send the text because he couldn't. He kept his eye on the phone like a hawk. A text message popped up and It was from a guy named Scott, and the words were very sexual in nature. I was in complete shock, and I said nothing.

While at antonio's house we talked and had a good time. Antonio said " you need to trust Mick he is a good guy, he came here to visit you from Phoenix." I told him Mick has lied so many times in the past.

After Mick went back to Phoenix, I worked up the strength to confront him. I told him I would call Scott and that I remember his number. Mick confessed he slept with Scott. I became enraged and told him I wanted to break up.

He begged me to take him back, and he offered to take a polygraph, and he would let me monitor his location through google+. I worded the polygraph to since you have been in Pheonix. A good freind said you should word it to "since you have been together." I had the questions reworded. He confessed to having sex with his best friend Yanto, to having sex with some guy Scott he met at a bar in Phoenix, to sleeping in the same bed with his friend from Brazil and his friend touching him inappropriately, finally he admited to being groaped in club in Florida and getting a deep romantic kiss from a stranger. He did this during a flight back to Georiga where he visited for 3 days he offered to breakup because he saw how heart broken I was after his confession. The polygraph verifed his confession was true.

When he came back to Atlanta in 2013 He kept club hopping. I asked him to never associate with Yanto or Scott again. He only offered to never associate with Scott again. He said he could not give up Yanto because most of his friends he knew though Yanto. He said he would not give up the clubs either because he could only meet his friends in the club, and they would never meet him or see him else where.

He kept going to the clubs despite the fact that he knows each time he cheated he was drunk, and 3/4 times the club facilited the cheating. I called him whore, and threated to break up with him, I was extremely mean every time he went to the club.

I caught him in a lie, he told me he was going out for a spanish karokee group. When I called him the following morning he kept rushing me off the phone and I heard a TV. I knew he wasn't at home and I told him this. He confessed to getting drunk at the club and sleeping at his best friend Antonio's house. When I confronted and asked if he had sex, he made a joke saying maybe I did have sex, maybe I didn't have sex. He continued to throw hints that he had sex with Antonio but he was drunk. When he sobered up he denied having sex with Antonio, and denied that he said any of the things he said while he was drunk, and called me a liar.

We later had a fight where I told him I could replace him at any moment since he kept going to the clubs. So he told me since I was threating him with this for the past month that we would have to have a 6 week break where all the wounds would heal and we could start off at Zero, and he would have to decide to take me back. If I couldn't handle that we could be friends. I found out through a freind he got drunk at the bars in Flordia, and left me in Georiga because of the fight. He spent the time in Flordia with his Best friend Yanto

I broke No contact agreement for the 6 weeks Twice, He broke it once saying he loved me and Missed me but couldn't put up with the threats of me leaving him for someone else.

the quality of physical intimacy was very poor thoughout the whole relationship.

What do you guys think
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#2
I wouldn't really care about him sleeping with other people.

What I could never get over If I were in your position is the way he seems to be playing you and lying and hiding things from you.

If he can't have an honest, open and frank conversation with you and needs a lie detector test to tell you the truth then he is not worth it.
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#3
What I get so far:
He cheated on you, then took a lie detector test (my word!) which ended up only confirming it, then went on to do it some more. Is this love?

-intrigued
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#4
Hmmmm......

I think he is actually more honest than he is a liar....

Instead of thinking about Nick and whether or not to take him back.....I would suggest having a serious conversation with yourself about the guys you are with cheating...and why are you attracting this to you if you don't want it on some level?
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#5
Going for the direct approach, here....

I think you can do a HELL of a lot better.

He may be being honest with you about fucking around, but the fact is that he clearly has no interest in stopping. And it's just as clear you want someone who's committed to you and isn't going to stray.

You want two different things out of your lives. You're incompatible in bed (you said this yourself).

What's the point in sticking with someone who clearly doesn't give a damned? There is none.

Find someone who will, man. Your life will be a lot happier.
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#6
Going for the simple method of answering.. If you have to ask whether you need to break up or not, you probably do.
[COLOR="Purple"]As I grow to understand less and less,
I learn to love it more and more.
[/COLOR]
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#7
You are not suited to each other.
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#8
He has added three more weeks to our break up and he wants to conciser a point of return. I have no idea what that means. We had a small fight on Facebook. I love him but I recognize the fact that this situation is decimating me emotionally. I feel like I am insignificant to him. I feel like he shoved me in a storage locker of belongings where he can abandon the unit or come and claim it at his will. He claims this will help to heal the wounds. I think he is doing this to hurt me emotionally to make me pay for threatening to leave him. I was wrong to do that. I only did it because he would always get drunk and sleep at friends' houses. He had a history of cheating, and I thought he was cheating again going to the clubs.
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#9
You may have feelings for him, but yu vnnot be happy with him anymore, wish him good and say good bye.
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#10
I think I would give him a chance, but I'm not sure it's not the right thing to do.
So I'm going for 'WAIT', but how long?

In my opinion you have to be clear and a little severe with him. You don't want a cheater and you don't have the time for a cheater, he has to understand it. And if he doesn't accept it, leave him if he doesn't leave from you, cause probably he doesn't respect you.
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