Coming out, well I am locked in the closet and the key is lost so coming out is a tad difficult.
A fear of not being accepted by lifelong "friends" being rejected by family members, shunned and ridiculed by work mates is a pretty hard fear to overcome especially when you know your fears will be a reality. And perhaps there comes a time when you have been in the closet so long you can't come out.
So coming out may be a possibility when you are not so firmly entrenched in a double lifestyle and when you are younger. But maybe there comes a time when you can never get out.
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Hi selkieboy, welcome to the site. There is a minority of us here who would readily agree that it is very difficult coming out in later life (my partner and I were both in our forties when we did and we are by no means the oldest to do so). Just when people think they know who you are, you go and change the rules. If you are married and you have children then it really is difficult, because you have to cope with messing up a lot of other lives too.
For me a double life was unsustainable. It became not just a double life but a multiple life and it lead to some quite unpleasant mental health problems. Coming out may have caused massive upheavals, but the compensations more than outweigh them. No more hiding, looking over my shoulder, remembering what lies I told to whom ... etc.
Very best wishes to you and those around you.
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Never say never mate. Anyone who gives you grief in this day and age isn't worth the effort, and acceptance from the others makes them twice as worthwhile to know, so it all balances out in the end. Good luck!
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I'm not should if I'm out of not theses days as I've told so many and being at Uni not many people really give a hoot lol!
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Hello,
Coming out is a hard thing to do and an easy thing as well.. Its a way of just blurting out Im gay but yet again not everyone does come out which tends to leave suspense for those DYING to know.. I know when i came out i had to adapt to the attitude If they love me (family) and always have then they will repect and stand by me yet with friends it was if they are true friends they will be supportive.. Due to your generation i would imagen it may be tough because i am 23 and when you were 23 it may have still been a criminal offence with prison to be gay..
Best thing to do if your wanting to come out is to speak to those closest to your heart.. See their reactions and build your confidence up.. No point telling the nearest person because you want it to come out because if they reject it could break the wall to confidentiality and make you feel like everyone is going to speak like it.. Not everyone will though it is down to the individual and how they react on their up bringing etc etc.. Only thing you got to do is respect their views however good or bad because in life we all have some sort of hatred for something that someone else is supportive of..
Kindest regards and best wishes
zeon x
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I came out to my parents, seperately, as they split up years before , when i was about 40 , and i had some gay friends lined up to suport me, for the rejection, but it wasn't that bad and we all get on ok now.
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sorry mate but I have to say it, just having seen where u r from. Ive had a lot more hastle from wearing a Leeds Utd shirt over the years than I ever have from being gay!
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I too have had more hassle wearing a Leeds shirt than being gay. I have never been assaulted for being gay but in the past I have been assaulted several times for being a Leeds fan.
Leeds United's next match is against Brighton and I wiil be going.
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