Coming out at work

[Shorny]

So after 10 years working at the same place(in a office) I decided to come out about a week ago.

Let me give you some background info. I've been in a relationship for over 12 years and I'm out to my friends and family. I'm a very private and unbelievably shy person

I've always thought that sexuality at work is nobodies business but mine, I'm just a regular guy not camp, like sports. So my sexuality wasn't questioned until about a year ago, when a female colleague said she was talking to someone at lunch time asking her if I'd come out and said "you're not gay are you?" I immediately denied it.

Needless to say the last 12 months have been miserable at work (thought about quitting) The team I'm on full of lads 25-35 who give their verdict on any woman with a pulse (sad right?) Anywho the last month they upped the ante, asking me how my lass was? Did i take my lass out last night? What car does my lass drive? I could go on.

The night before I came out, after another tedious day at work with joyful questions I said to myself the 1st person who asks will be told.

On the way to work I was shaking like a shitting dog, so an hour into my shift it happened, guy asks me if my lass wanted to order anything out of a woman's catalogue. My response was " look I know you's all know I'm gay so can we move on please" I could tell from his response he felt awkward (not as awkward as these cunts made me feel over the years) The others on the team caught whiff of the BREAKING NEWS!! But no one was man enough to ask me. As I was driving home I got a text off one of them asking if it was true. I made them stew until I got to work the next day and told them again.

So now it was out in the open I braced myself for the Q and A's to start, I know I said earlier that private and shy person but thought I've come this far, so wanted them to know the truth rather than them making it up and it becoming gossip.

So it's been a week since I come out, it's been great!! the lads have been ok I guess (at least to my face, can imagine when I'm not at my desk the sniddey comments come out), but its great not having to lie constantly or what my thoughts are on the new girl with the big tits.

I wanted to share my story with others and let you's know it gets better !!

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Congratulations on your coming out at work

Sometimes facing up to the bullying and whispering campaign (because thats what it is) is the best way to kill the conversation dead, and it looks like you've succeeded in doing that.

The office gossips will have to move their attention onto someone/something else now.

Don't forget that you have (sexual harassment/employment) rights within the workplace should anyone individual decide they want to make it their mission in life to make you miserable at work.

ObW
X

[CellarDweller]

congrats on coming out! I've always been out at work, it's so much more relaxed.

[megumidesu]

congratulations on coming out but

the lads have been ok I guess (at least to my face, can imagine when I'm not at my desk the sniddey comments come out)

this attitude is really not good. if they're being good to you and treating you completely normally , then why would you assume that they're homophobic behind your back ? if you don't want them judging you for your sexuality , don't judge them for things that you're only assuming.

[Shorny]

]

I've worked there 10 years I'm not the only gay in the village if you know what I mean and the stuff they said about them before they knew I was gay was very homophobic so I WILL Assume they do the same to me when not in earshot.

[sillyboy86]

Congratulations, but I agree with Megu, also it seems to me like a 'forced coming out', maybe they were really obsessive with their question about her girlfriend for a reason.

You worked there for many years, so now you have to see, maybe the situation and the behaviour of your colleagues will become more relaxed, or maybe only more hypocritical... What you have to do imho, is to take a friend from that group, if you have a friend between your colleagues and talk sincerely with him, 'I want to be respected' etc.

[southbiochem]

Congrats on doing this, if it will improve things for you, it is never bad mile:

So what if they make snarky comments behind your back?

As long as they don't attack you directly screw them. They don't have power over you.

[Padshach]

There's a lot to be said for the way you came out too. It was simple and you just said it - pretty much the way I come out to people now. No big fuss or fanfare, just say it and move on. If you can drop it into a normal conversation, all the better.

[Wolfpack]

I am going to come out at my next work place,this will be the first time at a place of employment for me.

[megumidesu]

I am going to come out at my next work place,this will be the first time at a place of employment for me.

good luck