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Crazy Guy
#1
I am a sensitive guy and have been working through personal issues with self confidence and past hurtful relationships, etc... I have not been actively dating for several years.

Last weekend a man walked into my life and I immediately started feeling things that I haven't felt in a long time. We've flirted, talked for hours... and already did a sleepover. We talked beforehand and decided we were both only comfortable with sleeping together if we kept our clothes on... which we did.

We both feel uneasy about dating right now because of where we are at personally. For different reasons, neither one of us feel prepared to go there right now. And we have also decided to put our relationship into the friends box. Just friends. No benefits. Purely platonic.

My issue is that it feels like I'm falling for him. I barely met him but I am thinking about him way more than I want to be. I know that I'm capable of being a good friend and not blurring lines... but I guess I'm just looking for a little perspective.

He is still new and exciting... but I'm hoping that once a couple weeks go by, I won't feel so crazy. I definitely don't think he is as interested in me as I am in him. And I promised him I would be able to offer a friendship without things getting messy.

Help! I feel like a crazy person.
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#2
The term is 'falling in love'.

Understand the importance of the word fall(ing).

Once one starts falling one is powerless to stop it. Like gravity, once it takes hold you have other choice but to take the ride to its end... Which hopefully won't be a sudden stop of hitting the ground.

If you are falling in love with him, you need to tell him.

BTW there are many things people promise that the realize too late that they can't keep that promise. Life has a tendency to present us with that sort of situation all the time, almost as if its teasing us.

Most likely you are a crazy person, but then everyone is insane - EVERYONE.... Wink

Be honest with him about what you are feeling. he might actually feel similar things. I doubt the issue with either one of you is that you don't want love, its just that you want love with someone you feel safe with...
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#3
You both have a connection. Do you know how rare that is? Why fight it and torture yourselves denying it? Why look back with regret and wonder what if? Go for it!
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#4
I hope you take your shoes off.
I bid NO Trump!
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#5
auitame Wrote:I am a sensitive guy and have been working through personal issues with self confidence and past hurtful relationships, etc... I have not been actively dating for several years.

Last weekend a man walked into my life and I immediately started feeling things that I haven't felt in a long time. We've flirted, talked for hours... and already did a sleepover. We talked beforehand and decided we were both only comfortable with sleeping together if we kept our clothes on... which we did.

We both feel uneasy about dating right now because of where we are at personally. For different reasons, neither one of us feel prepared to go there right now. And we have also decided to put our relationship into the friends box. Just friends. No benefits. Purely platonic.

My issue is that it feels like I'm falling for him. I barely met him but I am thinking about him way more than I want to be. I know that I'm capable of being a good friend and not blurring lines... but I guess I'm just looking for a little perspective.

He is still new and exciting... but I'm hoping that once a couple weeks go by, I won't feel so crazy. I definitely don't think he is as interested in me as I am in him. And I promised him I would be able to offer a friendship without things getting messy.

Help! I feel like a crazy person.

To avoid getting hurt and heartbroken, just leave him alone.
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#6
Its been a few yrs so I would say be open with all your feelings or you will be hurt again.

Stay friends and see what happens if its meant to be you will know pretty quick, like you said maybe a few weeks and you will know how your feelings will react.

Good luck with this friendship and if it doesn't turn out to be the one , I hope you find the right one soon.
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#7
17vs41 Wrote:To avoid getting hurt and heartbroken, just leave him alone.

No need to be a Negative Nancy here Talker

My advice would be to keep him close. Sounds like you have something great brewing and distancing yourself is obvs a bad idea! Stay close and see what happens, time will let you know Smile
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#8
Thank you guys for your responses.

Since it's been a long time for me and I haven't been in this position for a while, I definitely feel a bit panicked.

I have a birthday coming up and invited him to dinner with a small group... hopefully he comes. Just keeping my cool the best I can. Thanks again!
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#9
Will: It feels like early days to be talking about falling in love. It sounds more like the kind of sweet and giddy infatuation that can make things pretty special.

But yeah. Telling the truth always works best, Tell him that you want to be friends and think you can be a good friend, but damn, you can't help feeling that spark of infatuation. See where he goes from these.
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#10
When you say, "neither one of us feel prepared to go there right now…" where is "there"? Sex? Serious relationship?

I think it is a good thing to know what one is ready for and what one isn't. At the same time, if you're feeling infatuated, that should tell you something about 'where' you are. Maybe you're not where you thought you were after all? What would happen if you discovered he was feeling the same way (despite his own reservations about 'going there')?

Life is SO strange and wonderful and we get ourselves SO caught up in our own knots. Everyone needs to lighten up and loosen up, stop trying to control everything and protect themselves from hurt, and just let be more, IMO.
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