I have a question.It may seem dumb but I'm the type of person that likes proof even if I'm pretty sure of the answer. I'm 56 years old and I came out to a few family members years ago. I never came out to everybody because the subject never came up. I guess people didn't want to pry. I used to see my cousins constantly growing up but now with their own families I only see them on special occasions. They see I'm not married and they have never seen me with a steady girlfriend. Now even though I never officially came out to them do you think that they more or less figured out that I'm gay? A while back one of my uncles asked me about a female friend of mine and why I don't try to hook up with her.I told him that we were just friends,which is true, But I'm wondering if he didn't just say that to test me. Sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when people are ignorant like that. Like I said I always like proof and I'm a very inquisitive person.So do you guys think that the rest of my relatives probably know I'm gay? Looking forward to your replies.
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Honestly the question is: Does it matter if they know?
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Well, uhh when I came out to my family they all "KNEW" I was gay. I mean my mom said "I really don't understand why you think that's such a shock to me." So... I mean? I'm not sure, I mean I act a lot more flamboyant then some people so maybe for me it was easier for them to have suspicions? I'm sure it depends on the person I mean there are people out there that just don't like dating? Not to mention mix it in with my young age so... I mean I can't say one way or the other.
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How close is your family? If you came out to a few, the rest probably know.
If it becomes an issue, come out. If it doesn't, then leave it. At your age (no disrespect, it's my age too) they've either worked it out or it doesn't much matter.
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Sometimes the feeling that there's a gay relative doesn't enter the minds of family members. When I came out to my family my parents were more shocked at the fact that they'd assumed I was straight then anything, they didn't particularly care that I was gay either.
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"Suspect" is probably a better word than "know." I say that because it was my impression they're not around you much save "special occasions."
I did get asked a couple of years ago why I wasn't married with kids by 28 and told it was "suspicious." Though when I turned it around on my aunt who asked for advice on how to marry and have kids as she's done it 3 times already then she and others present were willing to let it drop.
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We all have âThat Uncle" - a building could fall over on them, and they would go "whut".
I'm unsure of what kind of proof youâre looking for. Proof they know, proof they don't, or proof that it's not an issue for them one way or another.
If it has not been an issue in the last 56 years, I would consider it a closed subject, unless you feel the need to change the family dynamic in some way.
I have never found it particularly useful to try and speculate what other are thinking; evidently they respect you.
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I think its bad form to assume someone is gay just because they haven't had any relationships with women. (Although its just as bad to assume that everyone is straight until told otherwise)
Ironic that you say you need proof to confirm whether or not they think your gay.
Perhaps your family is just like you and want proof that your gay before thinking anything.
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It really makes no difference if they know or suspect.
What matters is accepting yourself 100%.
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