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Dating
#1
So, I have been dating this guy for about 2 months... We've seen each other at least once a week in those 2 months and have text every day. Anyways, this weekend we have both been stressed out with work and been bickering. This evening it came to a head and we've decided to stop dating.

This just seems like Deja vu to me! Every guy around my age seems to have a similar story. They're meeting guys, it's all going ok and then it just stops. So I guess I don't have any real questions I'm just having a bit of a rant.


When do guys start taking dating seriously?! Fed up of investing time in people Bgbad
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#2
There has to be a certain amount of maturity (in both parties) to be able to recognize when something is an incompatibility issue..... or just a bad day/week.

If you're both bickering, and you blow up into an argument. Does that really indicate incompatibility? Everybody fights now and then, after all. It's a part of life.

And if something said -in- the argument has revealed an incompatibility that's insurmountable, then isn't it better to find that out now rather than 6 months or 2 years down the road?

People find that maturity (for what I mention above, but also for settling down into a steady relationship) at all ages, yeah? It really depends on personality and life experience, IMO.
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#3
Yes, if there is bickering because of a bad day, it's a maturity issue and there won't be any successful relationships.
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#4
I think the bad day came from a lot of little things mounting up to something big.

I guess you learn something from every experience though!
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#5
[quote=MartySuxx]


When do guys start taking dating seriously?! QUOTE]

really? Well if you find out, let me know because I have yet to see much of a difference between what you describe and guys my age.
Sorry, I'm kind of in a bad mood myself men-wise, please forgive the cynical comment.
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#6
MartySuxx Wrote:So, I have been dating this guy for about 2 months... We've seen each other at least once a week in those 2 months and have text every day. Anyways, this weekend we have both been stressed out with work and been bickering. This evening it came to a head and we've decided to stop dating.

This just seems like Deja vu to me! Every guy around my age seems to have a similar story. They're meeting guys, it's all going ok and then it just stops. So I guess I don't have any real questions I'm just having a bit of a rant.


When do guys start taking dating seriously?! Fed up of investing time in people Bgbad
What I came a conclusion to, at least for those in my neighborhood, is that people my age and around, under 19 and over, are just either too immature or they are just starting to be independent and actually starting life so when life issues clash with relationships, it doesn't end so well. So it may be the same for you.
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#7
This is very common in the dating world and for your age range extremely common and it is understandable because it is that period in life when people are searching for their place and direction in life, both professionally and personally. I have a hard time faulting anyone for this, even the person you are no longer dating, because if there is any period in life when you should be doing this kind of life-searching, this is it and sometimes mistakes will be made.
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#8
MartySuxx Wrote:When do guys start taking dating seriously?! Fed up of investing time in people Bgbad

When they believe they are ready! There's no timeframe set. But here's an example however, I started dating my husband he was 19 years old and I was 29, he was starting university and he would quite often come home completely beat and moody. I would come a and kiss him to welcome him in the house, but I would never initiate a talk - in my house small talk like good morning, how was your day are banished unless you want to tell me how was your day. I am the quiet kind that when the day has been nothing but a huge pile of dog poo, I'll go in my study, play piano, play my sax, or lock myself in my server room and swear at them LOL and try to change my mind. Alex would stay out of my hairs and will not attempt to make me talk if I didn't want to. And we're both the same, he would go to its office and study or have a nap or smoke a join and I won't disturbs him until I know that he's okay to talk.

People have said it a thousand times and you'll hear it a thousand times more throughout your life, COMMUNICATION is the key in everything. And your body and his communicate not only orally but also silently, and when one is unable to decipher those and not take things personal when someone else reply a little rough, yes it will bring misunderstanding and frustration.

There's no magical ways, you got to develop your own. So you're fed up with investing in others. Why don't you take a break and invest in yourself for a while. Do you feel so love dependant that you Absolutely NEED someone right now, while you're building your life or career?
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#9
Back in my 20s my observation was that relationships only last until the first fight. If they make it past that, there is hope.

As Jake said below, COMMUNICATION is key. Don't let things build up.
Bernd

Being gay is not for Sissies.
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#10
My opinion is that the younger generations aren't taught intimacy. They're barely parented - thrown into daycares or plopped in front of the TV or video game with little quality human interaction or learned socialization. Add to that their dependency on communication through technology... text, Twitter, Facebook, grind'r... if they meet on a date, they rush home to text each other what a good time they had.

Add to this the world's obsession with instant gratification. Drive up Windows, Amazon, Pizza delivery, Grind'r... the options are endless... how to choose??? What if it's the wrong choice? What if you pick one and miss out on something better? Best to play it "safe" and go in half assed to keep options open. Something new will be along in a few minutes.

Unconditional love, commitment, compromise, communication, passion (not lust), loyalty, devotion... are all becoming extinct.
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