Rate Thread
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Dating a Disabled Adult Male
#11
i wont a boyfrind i dont mind disabled or not disabled. i been to a discos for disabled and it pubs and that of not disabled and anyone.Coffee
Reply

#12
It would not bother me, however i would worry that i was over sympathetic and patronising. I think i would be over worried and would just get myself upset.
Reply

#13
My partner has a really bad stutter and it was never a deterent for me in dating him. Well, it was a bit awkward to talk about at first, and it took me a bit longer to gain his trust so that he opened up and talked without feeling self conscious. However, it seemed to be more of a problem to others around me (family , friends, etc) because it made them feel uncomfortable. He and I have been together two years now and most times I don't even hear the stutter. His stutter is just part of who he is as a person, and I love every aspect of him.

The Antagonist
Reply

#14
That's a shame that guys are afraid or intimidated by disabled persons. It really depends on where the guys are from. See in New York, disabled people are treated like everyone else. New York is a great state. My last partner has your disability. I thought he was perfect to me. Unfortunately, he was from a state that was not as good as NY when it comes to disabled persons.
Reply

#15
i got somtimes problem of talking.aswel. it is if good if trited disabled like normal. i thing it is some hardthings a bout if you gayman who was disabled. so it is better if peple said you normle . the worst thing a bout disabled is peple not listin to you i think.
Reply

#16
I think if you are not young, nice and beautiful you have a problem with the "normally gay scene"... and thats very sad for my opinion. Instead to build up a strong, high social community with much better possibilitys then other "groups" have... "we" separate by view, hear .. or something superficial ever.... years ago I have talked to some blind and some deaf gay people ... and it was very sad that they meant to have no chance to get a boyfriend or something like a family life because they feel separated and mostly unwanted.... its a shame !

What should count is the human being... not if you stutter, need some glasses or have really hard limitations or whatever.
Reply

#17
From what I've seen, people who rely on assistance from a carer or helper are pretty much subject to the whims of luck. Carer jobs are notoriously badly paid and invite applications from people who may not see inclusion on the grounds of sexual orientation as a priority. It's far easier to treat all people as one-size fits all, especially when they don't have much language to advocate for themselves. Gay and lesbian men and women are all but invisible in our care system. :mad:
Reply

#18
Great question Kabooby,

I am quite certain that most people Heterosexual, Bisexual, or Homosexual alike all feel that dating someone who has a handicap is a bit daunting, and the thought of altering their lives to be empathetically accomodating for a handicap person is tedious and scary. However ther are some people that are mature sufficiently to look beyond the heavy investment that may come with dating a handicap person. I for one, am not mature sufficiently to handle it. I am someone that hates responsibility, very lazy, and completely indifferent at times. I also have a tendency to hibernate, and this is certainly a terrible trait to have when caring and loving a handicapped individual.

But, I am aware that handicaps are not lepers; conversely I am all too aware of this fact. I see them as delicate flowers that should be cared for constantly, so that they may blossom beautifully. I am inherently selfish to ever accomodate to this capacity.

This is a very sensitive subject, I feel badly for my truths.
Reply

#19
Aaycle Wrote:... I am quite certain that most people Heterosexual, Bisexual, or Homosexual alike all feel that dating someone who has a handicap is a bit daunting, and the thought of altering their lives to be empathetically accomodating for a handicap person is tedious and scary ... I am inherently selfish to ever accomodate to this capacity.

This is a very sensitive subject, I feel badly for my truths.
But you are being honest too. Revisiting this thread for the first time in a while I may be contradicting something I have written earlier, but if I too am honest I think I would be unlikely to take on a partner with a disability that required me to be the carer. For me there would be two main issues. The first being the lack of opportunity for meeting people living with disability outside of my occasional work with special needs groups and the other being the fear of a likely power imbalance in the relationship. If I am with somebody it has to be as an equal and I am pretty sure I would not feel comfortable forming a romantic attachment with someone when I might see my role, at least to begin with, as a parent substitute.

If, however, my partner of choice were somehow to become disabled I would also like to think that I would still be able to remain committed to the relationship. I guess we never really know what we are capable of until we are tested by circumstance.
Reply

#20
Kabooby Wrote:I have discoverd that a lot of guys are afraid or intimidated by disabled persons. I am visually impaired and in the advanced stages of COPD. I am told by friends that I am a pretty good looking guy, however I'm not a spring chicken, I still have a sense of humor and the gift of gab.
Most guys who I come across are totally turned off by the fact that I am visually impaired and seem to prefer a more 'perfect type ' of guy.

Is this just a geographical problem or does it exist everywhere. Any suggestions for me to let guys know that I am not a leper nor will I transmit my disablility to them.Coffee

It exists everywhere and it also applicable to every sexual orientation. But since we're talking about gay guys ...

Anyways first of all by definition, I am categorized as disabled too. I injured my left leg when I was a kid by falling downstairs. I didn't bother to inform anyone particularly my parents about it. As a result, my left leg bends. It aches a bit once in a while. But the pain doesn't bother me much. What bothers me the most is the visual part of it. It doesn't look nice when I walk. To be frank, I felt like crying everytime I see my own reflection whilst walking.

But I learned to accept it.

Gay guys can be superficial but they do not represent every gay out there. My take is that if you are seeking for a sincere guy who can accept you as who you are, then let him come to you voluntarily. Voluntarily can only mean one thing - that he is ready to open his heart and accept you as who you are without judging you. There is no need to 'announce' to everyone that "Hey folks, I'm 'normal and capable' despite of being disabled".

But that's only my humble opinion and that is how I carry myself.

My friend once said, "There's someone for everyone. He might come sooner or later than you think."

I believe in his words.
Reply



Related Threads…
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Dating experience rianhezar 7 1,728 11-11-2015, 06:47 AM
Last Post: Beaux
  Adventurous pansexual male huttotxman 12 1,279 10-13-2014, 03:09 AM
Last Post: Jake
  gay male in sw looking for love connhairbear 11 1,085 07-29-2014, 09:55 AM
Last Post: Adam
  Hi new to gay dating Alexray 8 775 06-30-2014, 10:28 PM
Last Post: saif1232
  Dating HungYoungPistol 9 767 02-28-2014, 12:43 PM
Last Post: CellarDweller

Forum Jump:


Recently Browsing
1 Guest(s)

© 2002-2024 GaySpeak.com