Dating a Strange Guy

[jdawg903]

Hello everyone,

I have been seeing a guy for about 6 months now and everything between us is going great.
We get along very well, we text each other all the time, he always sends me messages like "Your so cute" and "I'd love to fall asleep in your arms again" or "I'm really glad I met you and I like you a lot ".

Anyways, for some reason he does not want to add me on facebook. I brought it up and said how we had been dating for awhile and it would be a good step for us. He just replied and said, "Noooo there's too much embarassing stuff on facebook, and that facebook tends to make things unsexy"

What does this mean? Is he just using me for some affection and romance, or could he be seeing someone else as well and just doesnt want me to find out about it? Or is he embarassed of me? Anyways I'm a little torn cause this makes me feel like I could be wasting my time on the guy.

I mean this doesn't quite sound like something that someone who is committed would say.

[cardiganwearer]

Perhaps I'm underestimating the value of a facebook listing but if that's what you consider the real measure of a relationship then you need either another partner or to reassess your priorities.

[Counselor]

No, it's weird, but maybe he's had a bad experience with a relationship that was "facebook official". Or mauve he shares stuff that is gross or offensive..

[zeon]

Hello,
I would personally say if a guy i was getting with didnt want to share his life with me and every aspect of it i would be like cautious... I know recently i met a guy and i am on his facebook and his on mine and we are very open about everything because with all relationships you need to begin them the way they intend to go. I dont agree with hiding anything because i was told if your partner hides one thing... What else are they hiding? I might just being open and honest kind of person but the whole aspect of a relationship is all the skeletons are thrown out then closet and you both learn and understand and be honest about everything... x

[posterpicture]

When you don't feel it is right, it 's probably not right. Never underestimate the power of intuition. Be prepared for a heart break.

[Geminize]

It may not be anything big, but if it bothers you it's worth following through on it. Are you both out? If he's not, I can understand him being nervous about that. If you are both out, I would let him know you would like to be fb friends and try to go a little deeper about why he is hesitant.

[LateBloomer]

Facebook is a big pain in the ass that will only complicate things.

The real question is, can your relationship withstand the stress of FB?

It's already been an issue between me and BF. We are friends. But I refuse to add any of his friends & family when they send me a friend request. And I've politely asked my BF to do the same to my friends.

I don't need our relationship to be shared on that level.

Not yet.

Maybe if we get married one day. But not yet. Plenty of time for that nonsense.

Good luck.

[Marc]

I have to wonder what the problem is!

Maybe he doesn't want certain people knowing he's gay?
Maybe he is worried an ex will give you trouble?
Maybe, just maybe, he doesn't care less about Face book (like me)

[Blue]

Well, if Facebook is required, fine, he can have my unused except to play a game once or twice a year page. Really, Face book is a big deal in a relationship?

Maybe he plays sims social or something and thinks you would find it childish, maybe he isn't out to anyone but close friends and family and, putting himself in a relationship with a guy is just not cool for him - ask him why if it's a big deal to you.

[LateBloomer]

Well, if Facebook is required, fine, he can have my unused except to play a game once or twice a year page. Really, Face book is a big deal in a relationship?

Maybe he plays sims social or something and thinks you would find it childish, maybe he isn't out to anyone but close friends and family and, putting himself in a relationship with a guy is just not cool for him - ask him why if it's a big deal to you.

Yeah. FB is a big deal.

Especially when you factor in ex's and coworkers, family members and all sorts of content from friends of friends that you cannot control....or at least don't have the time or inclination to control.

FB is different things to different people.

Some use it for past-time, like games.
Others use it for professional reasons.
Some use it for dating.
Others use it for their personal thought dumpster.

I mostly hate it, but begrudgingly participate due to the nature of my job which takes me away. FB is one way to stay in touch. I just wish everyone would use it like me, but that's never gonna happen. The best I can do is limit my participation by keeping my friends list very short (100).