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Doctor's orders
#1
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'"
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#2
Your jokes are great Londoner. Smile
An eye for an eye
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