AppleGeek Wrote:I only had sex once XD. I'm just curious if it will always be like my first time. He was abnormally large and went fast. I'm like a n00b at sex lol
Well in that case, it was inadequate preparation. He should have taken things more slowly and taken time for you to adjust. If it hurt when he first penetrated, and he kept going, you wouldn't have had time for the pain to subside. So I daresay you did it wrongly.
Normally if there is pain, he should have retracted immediately, especially if he's large. All of the suggestions made by Bowyn can apply, but it sounds like it was too little, too much, too soon. Since there was no foreplay, it might be good for you to show him (if you're going to meet him again) how it feels to have your anus stretched without preparation. It sounds like he had no idea that his penis was a potential source of pain. If he's only used it on women, for instance, or never used it at all, the only knowledge he has of penetration may be from watching porn. He's obviously not done his homework enough. I don't think he realised you were hurting. Did you tell him or were you too shy to tell?
Maybe you could get together to read up on gay sex, and anal penetration and all the things you should do to make it an enjoyable experience for both of you. Unless you do that, it'll be like being raped, every time, and it doesn't have to be that way.
If you don't plan to have sex with him again, then you won't be able to teach him anything about what to do and not do, but you can, at least, do your homework and train yourself to accept things that are larger than you think. You need to do this privately and in a relaxed atmosphere with plenty of lubrication and any toy that you can think of, although make sure that it won't get stuck inside and not come out again. Don't use anything breakable. Wrap it in a condom to be safer, unless, of course, you realise that you are allergic to latex, in which case you could try to get the other ones, those that are made from vinyl (I think). Ask your pharmacist or doctor.
Your own fingers can do the job quite well, if you can access your hole by bending.
Remember also that breathing is key to feeling sufficiently relaxed. The anus is designed, as someone pointed out, to expell not take in, normally, so its natural reaction to things going in is to contract. Contracted muscles (sphincters) will hurt more than loose or relaxed ones. Some say that trying to push out the outer sphincter, as when you are defecating, helps to loosen that first ring for entry, it's the second (inner) sphincter that is the culprit of pain, generally, so it's learning to master that one that will help you get more comfortable and finally, maybe enjoy it.
By the way, anal sex is not for everyone. Not everyone gets enjoyment from it. If you don't, then do other sexual activities. There are plenty that can get the same results.
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