Shit happens in life. Anybody who tells you that it isn't worth it is a coward and gave up. Like I said, shit happens. As you go along, you learn from these relationships and getting to know people. And with that knowledge that you learn, you use in the future to better those relationships and even friendships. In all honesty, it's worth it. Even if you meet the worst of the worst. Eventually, you'll meet someone who's worth your time. You have to put yourself out of your comfort zone sometimes. Or else, you'll look back at life in pondering on what would have happened and so on. Go for it  And take your time!
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Yes...completely worth it. I would do it all again...even the bad one. Adversity and heartbreak and pain are great lessons with personal growth potential if you allow them to be...
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I am trying to understand where this question is coming from..
Do you want a relationship or do you think you should have one because that's life; you get married and get children?
I'm only 25 and haven't had my heart broken since i was 15, so I lack the experience to answer the question. I'd advice you to come out though.
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(Adam) If you've never been in a relationship, I can see where you might look at the couples around you and wonder if it's worth it. I felt that way myself before I met Will. All my friends seemed to be involved in some sort of chaos, and it scared me. But from the perspective of time - yes, it's worth it. Like Wardo94 said, sometimes you just have to step outside of your comfort zone. When you protect yourself from being hurt, you're also closing out your chance for true happiness.
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Thanks for all the advice folks. I suppose the question comes from wanting to have some level of relationship with another guy. Where or even how to start is beyond me. As for coming out, I really can't see that happening, well definitely not in the near future. But I don't want that to stop me. I guess I'm using this forum as a platform to figure myself out, get advice and try and find where my life is going.
Even one year ago, there would've been no way I'd be on a forum airing who I am and how I feel, all be it very anonymously just in case there's someone out there who would know me!
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Curious1 Wrote:Thanks for all the advice folks. I suppose the question comes from wanting to have some level of relationship with another guy. Where or even how to start is beyond me. As for coming out, I really can't see that happening, well definitely not in the near future. But I don't want that to stop me. I guess I'm using this forum as a platform to figure myself out, get advice and try and find where my life is going.
Even one year ago, there would've been no way I'd be on a forum airing who I am and how I feel, all be it very anonymously just in case there's someone out there who would know me!
I can tell you how and where to start! It is the same as if you were straight. Start by becoming the person you would want to date and be happy and confident in your own skin,.....and don't look for a relationship. Seriously. I was one of the ones who never wanted one or wished I had one...quite the opposite....and that is how you find them.
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Curious1 Wrote:Hi there folks! Just wondering from those of you who have been in a relationship before, broken hearted or not, I'd like to hear what you think.
I've never had a relationship with a guy, mainly because I haven't come out, and unsure if I ever[B][/B] will. My question is, is it worthwhile getting into a relationship? Even if it ends badly, breaks your heart and leaves you miserable. Or would I be better never getting into one? Being in a relationship has made my life wonderful, but I was not unhappy and life was not one miserable day after another when I was not in a relationship, unlike some of the sad threads you see here where many seem to think it is the only way possible to enjoy life.
The real issue here, however, is not really about whether it is worth getting into a relationship (it is by the way). The issue is about your fear of living your life for yourself and not other people, and using the idea of "a relationship isn't really worth it anyway" as an excuse to not come out. Coming out is no guarantee that you will be happy. There is no guarantee that anything in life will make you happy, but not being yourself and being true to yourself is very close to a guarantee that you will never truly know happiness. And please, if you decide to not come out, live your life single. If you are gay, do not bring a woman into your life and make a family a part of your deception. That is not fair to them and it happens too much, but the difference for those men who did that is that most of them did not have benefit of someone giving them blunt, honest talk and advice like you are getting here.
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TwisttheLeaf Wrote:So yes, I'd have to say that relationships (in all their various forms) are worth it. Regardless of the outcome.
OMG!... NO!
Close to 30% of murders in the U.S. every year are spousal related.
A broken heart is not always the worst outcome...
There is abuse (Emotional, Physical)
There are some people that you should never let in your life!
Choose your partner wisely!
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I've never been in a relationship either, but I'm gonna say that it's worthwhile. Don't listen to the jaded ones, some broken-hearted people just want to be more entitled to pity than the ones who've never been loved back by someone else.
That girl who I posted about earlier used to pull that shit with me; she'd be telling me how much relationships suck and how it isn't worth the heartbreak, and then she rushed to get a boyfriend because she was afraid that I'd get one first. She ended up breaking his heart.
Point is, no one can put a value on your feelings except for you. Anyone who tries to label the worth of your life desires usually has their own issues that they're trying to impose on anyone who they think is gullible enough to take what they say to heart.
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There is a saying....
"Its better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all"
That applies regardless of the type of relationship you are contemplating.
I didn't come out until I was almost 40, and Ive now been with my SO for 10 years, so its never too late.
And you don't need to be out to have a worthwhile relationship, as long as your prospective partner understands the reasons why your in the closet, whether thats family or work related.
My advice would be to get yourself down Soho, find an outdoor spot at a cafe (I like Costa's) and just watch the world go by. I love people watching, especially if they are walking on by hand in hand.
Good Luck
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