First date in 9 years

[Grey]

My ex and I broke off our 9 year relationship in May, and there was a lot of damage control that had to be done. At first I told myself I wouldn't date again for at least a year, I even threw away a really cute guy's number just because I told myself I needed time. Finally I decided that while having this "me time" I wouldn't swear off dating completely, but I wouldn't exactly go looking for mr. right either.

About three week ago I was helping my grandma have a garage sale. Long story short I meet a very nice guy, only three years older than me. When he asked for my number I thought what the hell, it would be nice just to have someone to talk to that lives close by. We txtd for about two weeks, got to know each other a little. Finally he asked me out for coffee. I went.

The "date" was great. We talked, laughed, flirted and it was fun. He was really nice and seemed to totally understand that I'm in no rush for a relationship. Here's the problem...

My best friend hates him. Actually hates isn't even a strong enough word. I owe my best friend a lot. Had it not been for him the last half year would have been impossible for me. Hes a great guy and the list of things hes done for me is too long to mention. Usually I would respect his thoughts on this kind of thing but the issue I have with him hating this guy is that hes never even met him. Never talked to him, doesn't know him.


When this new guy asked me out on a second date my first thought was "hell yeah!" unitl I got a message from my best friend saying that by me going out with this guy he felt "tossed aside, cheated on, replaced, and scared." Now I feel like shit. I wanna go on the date. I mean hell its just dinner and the guy is really nice, but does that make me a bad friend? is my best friend just jealous? or am I being an ass by trying to move on with my life?

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Your friend loves you.

[Eros]

Maybe your friend has a crush on you?

[Grey]

He has always said we would be together had he been single when we met and if he ever found himself single again. However, he is engaged to a guy hes been with for several years.

[matty7]

congrats on getting a nice guy to ask you out - I see you don't have a problem with just getting to know him by having dinner so what your best friends problem ? does he know this guys past ? or is he possessive in his nature - you deserve to be happy m8..how can you hate someone you 've never met - is he gay too ? and are you sure he doesn't hold a flame for you ?, a best friend should be supportive and look after your best interests....sounds like hes looking after his - im sure hes scared of been left behind

[Grey]

He says he is very happy in his relationship with his own boyfriend, yet yes there is a flame there to some extent. His reasons for hating mr. new guy are unknown to me and no he knows nothing about the guy save for his name and age. There is no way he could ever be replaced as my best friend, hes really more of a brother to be honest and I hate that hes hurting; however, I think that he would feel this way about any guy I may date in the future.

[matty7]

maybe he's just trying to protect you from anyone else hurting you ?? and that's a great friend but you will meet another guy if not this one - will he hate them all.. you need to ask him , he's looked after you so well but he need to know that you want a future too with mr x whoever he might be

[Geminize]

Your best friend is the one being an ass. If he hasn't ever met your date, what the hell is his problem? He should be happy for you. You've gone out with this guy once and your best friend feels "tossed aside"?! He's either jealous or paranoid. Either way, he has issues. Don't let your sense of loyalty to your friend make you miss an opportunity for a relationship. Hopefully, you can have both.

[Jovial]

You owe him only your friendship – your life is exclusively your property! If he is not willing to give up his boyfriend for you over this so called torch he supposedly hold for you, don’t wait for him, life is short and precious. Be prepared for the consequences of what you are willing to sacrifice... don’t end up like me…

[yoyoyo148]

Could your friend be into you maybe?? o: