Going to gay bars alone

[Kenny221]

Hi Himself!

Yeah, I've been thinking about going out by myself too, but I live in Vancouver and basically, all the gay clubs are like in the shady part of town. I basically am having all the fears you're having right now, like how odd I'll look and how badly I'll stand out. Besides, I'm pretty small (5'2) so Im kinda scared I won't be able to handle myself if ( and i dunno why it would happen ) but if something bad happens and gets physical, I'll get my ass punted like a foot ball LOL

[yousir]

A good way of practicing might be to go to a club with mates and take yourself off for wander and dance by yourself for half n hour. remember, its easier to not socialise in clubs because of the music. So just focus on dancing.

[Borg69]

LOL. Well, you survived! And got a kiss. Sounds like you had a good time! Ready to go again?

[Rareboy]

I always went to bars on my own.

And sometimes left on my own.

And lots of times, with someone else.

It is not creepy at all. Just remember to smile. Get to know the bartender or some of the staff. Say hi to everyone you can without looking like you are on the hunt...you know...just act normally. I guarantee you are going to connect with others.

Once you are a 'regular', be nice and welcoming to other newbies. Introduce people to one another.

Enjoy yourself. And don't get trashed.

[Pyromancer]

There were some beautiful boys there but they were too pretty for me, and I'm too much of a creep. I thought I'd look like a creep if I went there on my own, but I suppose I'd look creepy anyway, so why not!

Oh for fucksake, cut it out...the only creepy thing is getting so shit-faced drooling drunk that you're not even sure what happened...not attractive...

As for the "too pretty boys" --- my friend Wendy is drop-dead-traffic stopping gorgeous...but she has a bitch of a time getting dates because most guys automatically assume that she's out of their league...

Try going to a club with the idea of relaxing and having a good time, instead of focusing on meeting someone......you'll be more at ease, less self-conscious, and more apt to attract positive attention...

[yousir]

Oh for fucksake, cut it out...the only creepy thing is getting so shit-faced drooling drunk that you're not even sure what happened...not attractive...

As for the "too pretty boys" --- my friend Wendy is drop-dead-traffic stopping gorgeous...but she has a bitch of a time getting dates because most guys automatically assume that she's out of their league...

Try going to a club with the idea of relaxing and having a good time, instead of focusing on meeting someone......you'll be more at ease, less self-conscious, and more apt to attract positive attention...

True dat.

[phillyboy1234]

I always went to bars on my own.

And sometimes left on my own.

And lots of times, with someone else.

It is not creepy at all. Just remember to smile. Get to know the bartender or some of the staff. Say hi to everyone you can without looking like you are on the hunt...you know...just act normally. I guarantee you are going to connect with others.

Once you are a 'regular', be nice and welcoming to other newbies. Introduce people to one another.

Enjoy yourself. And don't get trashed.

So true!! You should have the mindset that you want to make friends. You don't want to overdo it. You just want to get to know people as you sit there and enjoy your drink.

To the OP- why did you get kicked out of two bars? Did you get a little too feisty with guys? Also, did you go to gay bars? Straight women will go to gay bars to avoid being hit on by the guys, but if you are going to non-gay bars, you will make it tougher on yourself to find a guy.

[Rareboy]

I went out last night. I wish I'd taken your advice. I was asked to leave two bars. I kissed what would probably be known as a bear or a bear cub. I nearly forgot that that happened. Also, I spent the earlier part of the evening talking to this alcoholic Scottish straight woman who was off her head. She was telling me that her ex-boyfriend beat her up the night before, so she beat the shit out of him. But she added, "Och naw, sure we're the best of friends and all. He's a great lad."

Read the last line of my first post again.

Don't get trashed.

If you can't handle your booze, then stay the fuck home and don't spoil the evening for everyone else. Getting thrown out of one bar is pretty bad...but two? Not pretty.

If I recall correctly, you seem to have issues with alcohol....so maybe until you get your problem with it sorted out....you should look for social settings where they won't be serving alcohol....and if this isn't working for you...maybe you'll need to consider alcoholics anonymous. Some cities have gay chapters.

Good luck with sorting yourself.

[phillyboy1234]

Read the last line of my first post again.

Don't get trashed.

If you can't handle your booze, then stay the fuck home and don't spoil the evening for everyone else. Getting thrown out of one bar is pretty bad...but two? Not pretty.

If I recall correctly, you seem to have issues with alcohol....so maybe until you get your problem with it sorted out....you should look for social settings where they won't be serving alcohol....and if this isn't working for you...maybe you'll need to consider alcoholics anonymous. Some cities have gay chapters.

Good luck with sorting yourself.

It sounds odd, but you could go to the bar and drink seltzer or club soda with lime. On first glance nobody but the bartender will realize and it will keep you from getting wasted. Just make sure that if you do this, you tip the bartender well. It will be obvious that you are going to the bars to meet people, but because bars generally don't charge for club soda you will have one unhappy bartender unless you tip good.

[Pyromancer]

It sounds odd, but you could go to the bar and drink seltzer or club soda with lime. On first glance nobody but the bartender will realize and it will keep you from getting wasted. Just make sure that if you do this, you tip the bartender well. It will be obvious that you are going to the bars to meet people, but because bars generally don't charge for club soda you will have one unhappy bartender unless you tip good.

For someone who has a problem with alcohol, the road to hell can be paved with good intentions...I can't tell you how many times I set out to stick to O'Doul's and ended up...let's just say it didn't end well...

It was a full year after my last (5th) detox/rehab before I felt comfortable trying to do that...and it's been close to 4 years but I still will only go to bars/clubs with someone I know well and trust...someone who knows my history...The OP is the only one who can determine if alcohol is a problem for him.

...and dude...I don't know where you drink, but club soda sure aint free in this town lol...