06-22-2012, 05:52 PM
The forum is doing something really strange to me, so I'm not even sure if this post is going to come out in the right place. We'll see I guess.
My mom was at a point where she could not take care of herself. My parents have been divorced for over 20 years, and my mother never remarried. If my sisters and I didn't take care of her, nobody would. My family and I are very close, and I would be there to help any one of them at a moment's notice, even if they are currently having a hard time accepting that I now date guys. That's just the way I roll.
That said, I also know full well that it's their problem if they can't accept me dating guys. Of course it hurts knowing that this is a part of my life I can't fully share with my family, and they know that. But I also know that there's nothing wrong with me. I'm still the same person I was this time last year (but hopefully with another year's worth of life experience and wisdom). I'm still the son that loves his parents, and I'm still the brother that loves his siblings. I'm still the crazy uncle that seems to still remember how to be a kid, and I'm still the friend that is always eager to share in life's joys and sorrows. I'm still the employee that works his ass off to be the best at what he does, and I'm still that guy that strives to treat everyone with respect and kindness just because it's the right thing to do. If suddenly all someone can see about me is that I take it up the ass it's their problem, not mine.
Oh really? I hadn't noticed.
Actually, although it is more difficult to find dates and such down here, you'd be surprised how indifferent people can be these days. When I was dating my ex-boyfriend, we could easily walk down a crowded street holding hands without anyone flinching (well, except for the guys either checking one or both of us out or looking at us with that "I wish I had the guts to do that" look in their eyes). Beyond that, this is my home too and I'll be damned if I'm going to let some backwoods rednecks pressure me into leaving my home just because they don't like what goes on in my bedroom. Will I live in the south forever? Maybe, maybe not. But being gay certainly isn't going to be the cause for me moving elsewhere.
Have I mentioned yet that I have been described as "stubborn" on occasion?
When I was a young teen my mother's first husband passed away (my dad was her second). She had been divorced from him and even refused to speak to him for longer than I'd been alive. Yet when she got news of him passing, she cried. Not insane sobs or anything, but she shed a few gentle tears.
I said "Mom, you haven't even talked to him in over 15 years, why are you crying?" I still remember her response. "Love never dies. Once you love someone, you will love them forever. There are many kinds of love, and your love for them may change over time, but you will always love them even if you don't like them."
I never doubted her, but I also had a really hard time understanding what she meant until I got divorced. I haven't spoken to my ex-wife since the divorce and don't intend to ever again. We don't get along anymore, and her personality has removed every bit of attraction I ever felt for her. I have no desire to even see her face. Yet I still love her, and I still like to hear good news about her. I wish her the best, and truly hope that she goes on to have a long and happy life.
Reading back over that I get the feeling that was a lot deeper than the original comment required, but oh well. It's all true and as I said in my first post, I do tend to ramble.
Now let's just hope this post ends up where I wanted it to instead of overwriting my previous post, as I'm afraid it might.
pellaz Wrote:Let your parents do their own thing, in their own world. There is no shame in being gay or bi, even straight. I would be careful with your emotions of your best friend leaving you and forget your parents. Your a boy so you need to build a emotional support structure around you, look for gay friendly ladies and men in your area to be a member here. A gay man and a straight lady can be a great resource to each other.
My mom was at a point where she could not take care of herself. My parents have been divorced for over 20 years, and my mother never remarried. If my sisters and I didn't take care of her, nobody would. My family and I are very close, and I would be there to help any one of them at a moment's notice, even if they are currently having a hard time accepting that I now date guys. That's just the way I roll.
That said, I also know full well that it's their problem if they can't accept me dating guys. Of course it hurts knowing that this is a part of my life I can't fully share with my family, and they know that. But I also know that there's nothing wrong with me. I'm still the same person I was this time last year (but hopefully with another year's worth of life experience and wisdom). I'm still the son that loves his parents, and I'm still the brother that loves his siblings. I'm still the crazy uncle that seems to still remember how to be a kid, and I'm still the friend that is always eager to share in life's joys and sorrows. I'm still the employee that works his ass off to be the best at what he does, and I'm still that guy that strives to treat everyone with respect and kindness just because it's the right thing to do. If suddenly all someone can see about me is that I take it up the ass it's their problem, not mine.
pellaz Wrote:location, location, location. Where you live has a lot to figure in how you think of your self. The SE is not the most socially advanced quadrant of the country. For example they were the last to accept inter racial marriage. And this has to add to your stress.
Oh really? I hadn't noticed.
Actually, although it is more difficult to find dates and such down here, you'd be surprised how indifferent people can be these days. When I was dating my ex-boyfriend, we could easily walk down a crowded street holding hands without anyone flinching (well, except for the guys either checking one or both of us out or looking at us with that "I wish I had the guts to do that" look in their eyes). Beyond that, this is my home too and I'll be damned if I'm going to let some backwoods rednecks pressure me into leaving my home just because they don't like what goes on in my bedroom. Will I live in the south forever? Maybe, maybe not. But being gay certainly isn't going to be the cause for me moving elsewhere.
Have I mentioned yet that I have been described as "stubborn" on occasion?
pellaz Wrote:I was married 15years and you never stop loving your X. I am much more successful in a gay relationship and so I can put a label on me I am a gay man. The porn, sex dont really define anyone.
When I was a young teen my mother's first husband passed away (my dad was her second). She had been divorced from him and even refused to speak to him for longer than I'd been alive. Yet when she got news of him passing, she cried. Not insane sobs or anything, but she shed a few gentle tears.
I said "Mom, you haven't even talked to him in over 15 years, why are you crying?" I still remember her response. "Love never dies. Once you love someone, you will love them forever. There are many kinds of love, and your love for them may change over time, but you will always love them even if you don't like them."
I never doubted her, but I also had a really hard time understanding what she meant until I got divorced. I haven't spoken to my ex-wife since the divorce and don't intend to ever again. We don't get along anymore, and her personality has removed every bit of attraction I ever felt for her. I have no desire to even see her face. Yet I still love her, and I still like to hear good news about her. I wish her the best, and truly hope that she goes on to have a long and happy life.
Reading back over that I get the feeling that was a lot deeper than the original comment required, but oh well. It's all true and as I said in my first post, I do tend to ramble.
Now let's just hope this post ends up where I wanted it to instead of overwriting my previous post, as I'm afraid it might.
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ParadoxicalMe 
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