Help! :(

[Sweens420]

Ok, I need some advice. Long story short I'm a 21 year old gay man, and yes I live with my parents. Sad I know. I've been seeing an older guy for a little over a year now. Really like and care for him. He got a nice place an hour away from me and wants me to move in...I want to, but I'm not out. My parents and friends wouldnt accept me as gay. I just need help...dont know what to do

[SouthernCeCe]

Hello! ^_^
Ok I would say come out to your family and friends. It might take your family some time to deal with things but they may come around. You are, after all, family. And as far as your friends go, if they don't accept you then they weren't really your friends. If moving in with this guy would make you happy I say listen to your heart and go for it.
Good Luck!

[Beaux]

To me, this sounds like the perfect opportunity for you to come out a d move out! Many, many people your age fear coming out because, should their family not accept them (which often takes TIME), they have no place to go.
If your feelings for this man are genuine, then your very lucky! You can now come out to your family, and move in with your boyfriend, which will give your family the distance they MIGHT need to accept this aspect of who you are. More importantly, you won't have to worry about them threatening you with homelessness if you don't "stop being gay", and yes, a LOT of families try that kind of bull-shit.
Best of luck! Let us know how it turns out!

[Sweens420]

I really do want to come out, I'm just scared they really wont accept me. My father is the type of person who thinks being gay is a disease and can be cured. It's just hard for me to fathom since I've essentially been living a lie to my family and my closest friends. I mean I hear my friends joke about people being gay and stuff and it makes me hesitant to come out to them.

[TomStatic]

Yeah i would say come out to them and at least u have the choice to move out so it is not like your stuck there , i mean you would feel much better after u came out to them in some way or another . all the best man

[Geminize]

I agree: this could be a great opportunity for you to come out with your family and friends. If you think your relationship has long term potential, then living with him gives you a space and some distance while your family adjusts. Of course, it's scary as well, but I think you will find the relief of not "living a lie" will be worth getting through the tough parts.

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetheart follow your heart on this .
This is a pretty good opportunity to come out to them ,but only if you are ready to do so.
Your family will come around eventually and I would not be surprised if your mother already knows.
You might try breaking it to her first.

Your man sounds very sweet to move closer to you.
He must love you very much.

Good luck with it all, we are all here for you.

[Sweens420]

Thanks for all the advice, I appreciate it

[jimbopdxus]

I do not lknow if I agree with charging out of the closet to family and friends. Right now everyione is in their comfort zone. Maybe you might want to let them come to you.
My parents found out by accident and when they confronted me I told them it was not a issue for discussion. Later, after they had met my boyfriend we had a chance to sit down and talk it out like adults. They adopted my boyfriend as one of the family and it all became good. But THEY came to me, not the other way around. And it was only when they were willing to accept and not condemn.
So use your best judgement, if you want to confront them with it, fine. If you want them to come to you, fine. But you need to do what is best for all of you.

[Counselor]

Why should your parents blame you? Nature OR nurture, it's their fault, not much they can do about it now...