Hey new here, how are ya'll?

[samsungroy]

Hey,

I just want to introduce myself and kind of tell my story and see what ya'll think. First off my name's Tyler!

Okay, so I have been and still am dating a beautiful girl I love for the past 2 years, things are great as of late. We just fight over the dumbest stuff in the world and it is going no where so I just need some advice. Ever since I was in 9th grade "15 years old" I have been confused? It started when I would watch straight porn but I noticed myself looking at the male and thinking hmm. It was strange, then one day I just said fuck it I'll watch gay porn, and I did. I noticed I would get hard quicker and shoot a bigger load than I have ever done in my life. It was weird and making me nervous. I ended up getting a dildo as a gag gift one year for my birthday, more or less a joke from high school. I always wondered how it would feel, so I tried, and I noticed I kept using it more and more. I know this all sounds weird but there is some moral to this all.

This all happened through high school and into college, but it wasn't a everyday thing, it would happen in spurts. I would do it for a week and watch porn and then I would stop and not look for months, so I was so fucking confused it was annoying the hell out of me. I have been with around 27 women, so I am so up in the air. I am not looking for you too be like yes Tyler you are gay or bisexual I am just looking for stories to share or some information I can go with. It's pretty hard being in a relationship and thinking of men at the same time.

I just am not 100% sure I can be in a relationship with a man, I am a man's man, definitely masculine, played college baseball, played high school hockey, I am the "Jock" as they would say. Not saying Jocks can't be gay but ah I don't know! My mother did ask me once maybe twice if I was gay. I kind of think she found gay porn or websites I went to when I didn't have my own computer but she just never told me, so who knows. I doubt she thinks that anymore? but never know.

I also hung out with a gay man once, he invited me over and knew I was "whatever" and we talked about hooking up. So I got all dressed up, smelled nice and went over. I was scared shitless. We watched a gay movie, not porn but about some kid who was curious and his parents finding out and stuff like that. It was real good, got me hard, especially I was next to a hot guy! lol. We were head to head, and I wanted to just kiss him but was so nervous, I am sure we could of had fun, but we watched the movie I got scared it was over and I left. He texted me saying he wanted to see me again and how cute I was but I just left it at that.

So I am just wondering? WTF is going on, like I said I am not looking for a label unless you truly know, but a story to share or someone to just talk to about this, if I should end it, or be sneaky, or be gay or bisexual or straight. I am just lost for words and thoughts!

Thanks for reading this, I hope to hear back from ya'll, nice meeting you!

Bye,
Tyler mile:

[princealbertofb]

Hello Tyler, just a first before I read that post of yours and see how we can help. This is the place to talk about such things. Take care, PA

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Hello and welcome, Tyler!! Labels are awful, aren't they? :X We're all different like every snowflake is and so...you are who you are, yourself, Tyler, no more, no less. I say...let it be. Explore yourself and your desires and give in to them. Experiment, see what you really like, don't hold off anything...There is no better feeling than the one you get when you know you are doing what you want to do and that you are free to be what you want to be.

[princealbertofb]

Ok, so now I've read your post. You are not looking for a label, but obviously are looking for what type of love life and sex life would best suit you now. The thing about our sexuality is that it is sometimes hard to grow as a certain type of plant if planted in the wrong kind of soil... By that I mean that if you are gay and you are brought up in the kind of soil where the only nurturing is "straight" you cannot grow to be who you really are but might, in certain ways adopt ways that are straight and still develop emotionally as a normal human being. The fact that you have been to all that trouble of experimenting with a dildo and that you've had the hots for another male would tend to say that the mental part of your sexuality (the brain is the biggest sex organ, after all ) and your psyche are atuned, maybe even very intererested, at least in trying something with another male. It doesn't mean that you will find the right male partner right away, as I'm sure we don't look for the same things in a male partner as we'd look for in a female partner, as well as males who are ready to admit that they have sex with other males are fewer than half the population of the world. So it gets tricky. ... it's a bit about kissing a lot of toads before you meet your prince, if you see what I mean. If you're lucky, the toad kissing will be minimal, as was my case.
It sounds now that you are ready to start trying. Most people will say that if you don't try it, you'll never know if this is meant for you. Be prepared, however, to be surprised, maybe disappointed, or maybe just ecstatic... and whatever you do, remember to protect yourself and your partner, so have the right tools with you when necessary. Good luck. How else are you going to find out, unless you give it a go? You sound ready to me.

[marshlander]

Plenty of us have had relationships with women with greater or lesser success. I knew I was interested in men, but did not consider the possibility that I was gay. After all I could never be "one of them"! I was nothing like Larry Grayson, Kenneth Williams or any of the other gay types I knew from watching television. While I was waiting to grow out of it I got married when I was 19 and became a father eleven months later.

Of course nothing in life is usually as simple as one might like it to be and it was only decades later that I had to face up to being gay. En route, I did wonder if I could have been bisexual, but I was not interested in other women and had some pretty weird experiences turning their attentions away. Unfortunately, I never learned how to turn down the interest of another man and when I finally met one and fell in love with him I had to make some tough decisions.

It was difficult, but absolutely worth it.

[Ultra]

Welcome! What an extremely interesting story. My story is very different, but with some similarities. I was gay since I was 14... but I looked at straight porn and I actually liked it. I came to terms with my sexuality by 23 since I had a gay best friend and he would tell me about gay things. I related to that stuff and I was convinced that I was gay. He was at a relatively young age at the time, he thinks he was being immature when he told me that.

Stay in your relationship with your woman. Two years a good amount of time. You fight over the dumbest things? Don't worry about, it sounds like my parents and they've been together since 1979 (and got married in 1983). You will get through it and I know you two will last if you love her and all of that stuff.

[fenris]

Hi and Welcome Tyler,

I´ve read your Story, too.... I agree in some points with princealbertofb... but maybe the best way is to let things go .. and see what happens. I think, the best way is don´t set yourself under pressure.... there is no need to rush. Its much easier to let things go for a while as to ask yourself many times if you are doing right.

[Aaycle]

Ahh, Tyler...

There is nothing more pleasurable than the journey of self!! Finding out who you are (the complex, ineffable, and innate you), what you are capable of (the how far can I push it, endure it, and change it you), and finally the real you (the contented individual that no longer lives for what others want him to be, but the person that loves who he is in spite of all his faults (perceived, real, or otherwise), and past mistakes).

Welcome!!! Now you have grief to discover; why grief? Well you will do what you have to do. No one can give you advice on decisions of sexual choices. No one can tell you what you are attracted to, or when to be attracted to anyone. Sexuality happens... it did so for all of us. Some of us tried with great painful efforts to conform ourselves to a standard image of sexuality --but here we are! It will also happen for you, and only you may decide what Tyler will do. The grief comes when you can't say no to desires any longer. Grief comes when your family does not accept readily or not at all, your choice. Grief comes in the acceptance of yourself; in realizing you are different.

WE, are here for you! WE love to talk, and in talking you will be comforted in whatever choice you have made!!!! LoL... I secretly wish you are gay, or bisexual! But, that is just the aberrance of an accepting mind!

[Dark Angel]

Welcome to the forums

[matty7]

hi, happy to see u posting m8, cant see a prob with liking both girls n guys.... i think like most people they fight the fact that they may be bi or gay or whatever other label the majority want to stick on us, no need to decide really , just see how your relationship with your gf pans out, if things dont work out and the next person your attrected to is a guy then go with it - fighting things just makes life a whole lot harder, nothings set in stone on how you should be